Thursday, June 28, 2007

My new scrapblog

Ms. Leslie introduced me to this today. I just love it. I haven't had time to computer scrap for over two years, and this makes it easy and no ink is wasted, only your time and the internets. I just did a shortie, because I am stupid and it took for fricken ever to get it going, plus I was at work and that damn phone keep ringing. But now that I got it, it's easy as pie. I couldn't bring up Leslie's on my computer at work because I didn't have Adobe Flash Player 9. So if you can't get it, just go the bottom where it says create a scrapblog and then "get started" and you will be able to download it from there. Now I got to start taking pictures again. It's been a long time.

I mowed the back 40 tonight, watered all that need watering, leaf blowed all the crap off my deck with my handy dandy ELECTRIC leaf blower, cleaned up my pond, and cut back shit I grew two years ago when I was only a babe in the woods when it came to perennial gardens. I'm all ready for Canada Day! Bring it on. But, this year because of dietary issues, we will be having fake ribs, fake steak and fake hamburgers for our suppers. Recipes below:


Cut all the fat off the ribs
Now you will only have the bones left (do not despair)
Boil the bones for 4 hours
Cool .. or chill out as the case may be
Take a paint brush, that you have NOT used for painting
And brush the rib bones with some Bull's Eye Barbecue sauce
Put them on the grill on high heat (because lets face it, they are done already)
Once the Barbecue sauce gets hot and a little brown, remove from heat.
Put them in a serving plate (don't be alarmed if the sound of the ribs hitting the plate scares the dog) after all they are heavy bones.
Now lick off the barbecue sauce and call it a night.
Serve with fake potato salad.

Fake Steak:

Cut all the fat off the steak
If you are having a boneless steak, you are shit out of luck. BUT if you are having a steak with a bone in it ( you lucky bastard)...see Fake Barbecued Ribs.
Serve with baked potatoes and fake sour cream.

Fake Hamburgers:

Take a pound of sawdust, toss in two eggs, 1/2 lb. of breadcrumbs, 1 chopped onion, and a touch of worchershire sauce and ketchup. Mix it all about. If it gets too heavy you can use it as mortar for any cracks in your house, but if you still want to make your Canada Day Hamburgers, throw in a cup of water to loosen it up.
Form into plywood patties. If you have made too much you can make plywood meatballs with the rest and freeze them. Fibre girlfriends! You can never get too much of that. Keep your aprons on.
Grill your plyburgers on low heat. This cook, always advises those who are using her recipes to always use untreated sawdust when making this. NOTE: If you are not sure if you have treated or untreated sawdust, the treated sawdust will have a green tinge to it. Let's not even worry about the formalihyde. The choice is yours. If you are using untreated sawdust your burger should have a wonderful smokey flavour to it. It tastes like a campfire in your mouth.
Serve with pan fried lichen. Yum.

For the Canada Day dessert, this cook would suggest, ...I am so excited about this I almost got my apron in a knot..."Sex in a Pan"..with a twist. You know the old standby, the one with the crispy crust, chocolate pudding and cool whip on the top? Yeah, I knew you went to those same baby showers I went to. Wellll, I was thinking WHY NOT put a few shavings of sawdust on top for roughage!! Mind you don't put the one's that have a tinge of green on them...we don't want any oppsies!

So there you got it. Your Canada Day Celebration menu. Enjoy.

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