Friday, August 24, 2007


This is the picture I always liked best on her blog.

I was a little late to the news yesterday that she had passed away, but I was thinking of her on and off all day for some reason.

I wanted desperately to try to help in any way I could, so I offered Curtis a choice of two things:
1.) I would be available to speak at her funeral as part of her blogger community, which I knew meant a lot to her. Maybe I'm not the right person, as she has so many friends from far and wide, but I thought I am here in the same city and maybe I can put all your thoughts and words along with mine to give tribute to a truly fine blogger. I will do my best.

2.) I also told him if that wasn't what he wanted I would bake some pies, and even though Curtis loves him some pie, he made the right choice, because my pies could do some intestinal damage. So, yes, he took the better of the two:)

So, if anyone one has some memories and special thoughts about Ellen or how blogging brings us all together in sickness and in health, I would appreciate hearing from you. I have started writing down some of my own thoughts about the blogging community and how it has made a difference to me.

I find it very special. You meet people who have all the same problems you do, and you don't feel so alone in this crazy world. We celebrate their triumphs and cry when life hands them a lemon...that's just the way it is in the blogger world. Sometimes it is easier to type out your fears than talk to a pair of eyes next to you. I hope I can explain that to a room full of people who probably have never heard of blogging.

I wanted to change my template today, because I didn't think the pig theme was very befitting for the occasion, but I didn't want to loose haloscan again just in case people were commenting. So, I didn't...I think Ellen would have had a good me to put up a stupid template when the one I had would have been more befitting. You would think I have learned my lesson by now... but no.

So your comments will be greatly appreciated. I will make you proud.

as always...Joanie balonie


Joan said...

I had to change the template because those pigs were getting on my nerves. I have copied all your comments thus far into this one.
I didn't know Ellen or Curtis very well but maybe she believed that this crazy wired world we find ourselves in has brought so many friendships and blessings to so many of us that would never have happened in earlier times.
brenda | Homepage | 08.24.07 - 11:31 pm | #

Ellen's generosity of spirit, her willingness to help others whether she met them in person or not; her compassion for others when she thought we were hurting. She was always doing something to make others feel better even in her own time of pain and crisis. I'll never forget the many, many hours she spent cross-stitching a beautiful piece of art she made and sent to me at one of my weakest points in our friendship.

I know you'll do so much better than I would, Joan, and I wish you well, and thank you for speaking on behalf of her blog friends whom she loved, and who loved her so dearly.
Sally | Homepage | 08.24.07 - 11:54 pm | #

Joan I ma so sorry that so sucks big time. You my dear are in my prayers... if ANYONE could get up there and speak for some one it is you,,,, Prayers for all. Give it your YOU!!!
just a mom | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 1:21 am | #

Hello Joan,

Bobbie told me you will be speaking at the funeral on behalf of those who knew Ellen through blogging. I spent a lot of time to express what she meant to us (Herman and my wife Beppie). Would you be so kind to read my blog and choose some thoughts you like and you may use them if you want. It's not because I am lazy, but to prevent repeating myself.

The template of your blog is fine! I am sure Ellen would laughing out load, she had a great sence of humour.
Herman Verbrugge | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 4:36 am | #

I'm sorry to say that I never knew Ellen and I obviously missed someone worth knowing. My only comment is an oldie I suppose but it's that our friends are the family that we choose and the internet/blogging give us that chance to expand our families in ways we could have never imagined. My condolences on the loss of yr friend/family member.
lostdawill | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 9:56 am | #

This is a cpmment I left on her niece's blog. It sums up why Ellen has touched m life in a huge way even though I have never met her.
Curtis and Ellen kept me believing that true love exists. I am not saying that lightly. I had given up on ever finding anyone but their blogs kept me believing that it just one day happen for me too. (And it did!)
Ellen is on of the world's most beautiful people. I am so honoured that I have had the opportunity to know her through blogging.

I was also wondering if you could pass on to me where the service is to be held or the name and address of the funeral home. I wouldl ike to make a donation to the Canadian Cancer Society and I will need an address so Curtis will know.
Barbara | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 11:46 am | #

I am so sorry about your friend...I did not know her, but knew she meant a lot to you..God bless her and her family and you!
Lu | 08.25.07 - 12:32 pm | #

Like Herman, I hope you will read the blog that I wrote about Ellen. I learned who she was through my children, whom she taught, but I felt like I became her friend through blogging. She had such a way with words and could express what I (and others) felt in our hearts. Her caring, her sense of humour, her wisdom, her friendship, courageousness - all came through in her blog. I live in Wpg. and plan on attending the memorial. I hope I have a chance to meet you. The comment you wrote about the jewels on your jeans - truly summed up Ellen's sense of humour to the end.
penny | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 1:00 pm | #

Thank you for offering to speak on behalf of those who knew Ellen and Curtis through blogging. When you are up at the podium speaking, we will all be standing behind you, if only in spirit. We have lost a wonderful member of the blogging community. Ellen impressed me with her warmth, her giving ways, her sense of humour and her wonderful way with words. You can tell by the amount of comments on her and Curtis's sites how well she was loved.

Here is the link to Ellen's obituary- ObitID=123993

(I hope the link works)
Bobbie | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 3:04 pm | #

Ellen (know to us as puppycakes) was a member of our cancer support site for 5 years. She was an inspiration to everyone during her brave battle with cancer. She wrote all her short stories and shared them on our site and we encouraged her to try to get them published. We have many fond memories of Ellen and eventhough we never met her in person , we all loved her. She always gave her support to everyone on our site. She will be missed by all of us at Lighting the Way for Cancer Support.
Thank you for taking my comments
In loving memory of our puppycakes.
Ann Baldwin
San Angelo, Tx.
Ann Baldwin | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 4:20 pm | #

That's very sweet of you, Joan. She had a long, hard fight; for better or worse, it's over.
special k | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 4:42 pm | #

Thank you so much for speaking on our behalf at Ellen's funeral Joan. I myself have been feeling so low these last few weeks as our dear Ellen had been slipping away from us. My heart ached when Ellen, in great pain still took time and energy to write her last blog.

I knew Curtis first then got to know and love Ellen also through blogging. What I remember most is her enthusiasim for decorating for Christmas. She was so excited bringing everything out and would share pictures with us, especially her "magic tree". Then after Christmas she would wonder if maybe it was her last time putting away the decoration. I'd be thrilled when another Christmas would come when she would start all over again.

The love the two of them had together was beyond comparison.

People who don't blog don't understand how close a community we've become. They don't understand when we speak of each as friends.

Thanks again for speaking of Ellen for all of us at her funeral. I wish I could be there but will be in spirit and your voice.
Faye | Homepage | 08.25.07 - 8:09 pm | #

Ellen is my father Lawrence's younger sister. I am sure you may have heard her mention his name in a few of her blogs. It is so heart warming to know that my Aunt Ellen had such a huge support network. Despite the problems that she had she always remained supportive and enquired about how you were doing. I have to undergo thoracic surgery in a couple of weeks for a nerve sheath tumor in my back as well as a possible wedge resection for nodules found on my lungs. Until the last time I saw her she was asking how I was doing. She had even managed to give me some support as to how to handle it. Our family will truly miss her. I am very sure that what ever you choose to say at the service will be very representative of the kind of person you have all known her as. Thank you.

Shirley de Koning Chu
Shirley de Koning Chu | 08.26.07 - 12:55 pm | #

Maybe it's too obvious to say, but I hope you will put your eulogy of Ellen on your blog for those of us who can't be at her service to read. Like most everyone else, I will be there in spirit.

- from a new reader
Carol | 08.26.07 - 1:46 pm | #

It is nice to know that someone will be there to speak on behalf of Ellens Blog Friends. Feel free to read my tribute to her on my Blog. If you can use any part of it in your eulogy, by all means , do.
Give Cutis a huge hug from me please.
susan | Homepage | 08.26.07 - 2:10 pm | #

Thank you everyone for giving me your thoughts and inspiration for the eulogy.

Last night I had a panic attack (sort of) after reading all of your kind messages, and thought perpaps I had overstepped my boundries and started to second guess myself as to whether I should have posted on Curtis's blog redirecting your thoughts to my blog. My fears were unfounded because Curtis assured me he was that this what not the case. Phewww.... my imagination gets away from me sometimes!

I'm off to get started, and thanks again for everything.

Joan | Homepage | 08.26.07 - 2:55 pm | #

Kathy said...

I shared some memories of Ellen on my blog here:

I only met her and Curtis twice in person, but I feel like I knew her well.

Our family is heartbroken over her loss, especially my son Steven.

I wish we could be there. She was a great lady.

Bitter Betty said...

I'm so very sorry you've lost a special person in your life to that god damn fucking disease. I didn't know Ellen but I've read a bit here and she seemed like a person more of us should aspire to be like.

Jenny Johnson said...

I wish I had known the pleasure of meeting Ellen. I found this blog the day she passed away. Since then I have been reading her blog, her letters etc. She definitely had a way with words and especially with writing from the heart. There is definitely a bond between all bloggers and although I did not know her I feel as if I had known her for years. Thank you for letting me express my feelings here. A donation will be made to Dawn of Hope in Johnson City. TN in memory of Ellen Crush and In honor of my Brother, John Holloway.

My deepest sympathy. to Curtis, her friends and family.

Jenny Johnson
Spokane WA