Monday, August 20, 2007

Trailers for sale or rent.........





Bird house for Sale: Fixer upper (from my deck)


Particulars:

** 1 bedroom, newer straw, never been smoked in.

** Thatched roof, needs minor repairs.

** Additional "lean to" on right side of the house for extra egg storage


** Located in a wooded back yard


Owners are motivated to sell, as their children have gone South.

** Offers



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Personals: Vintage old broad (from my year book)


Particulars:**Odometer reading: 61 years

**Colour: White, no rust .. all original parts

**Likes: Going for long walks on the beach in the rain, drinking a little wine and reading from the bible.

**Dislikes: Headcheese

** Offers...or call 999-9865 for free phone sex.


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BARFIE BALLOON RIDES: (from my deck)

** We are an established Balloon Ride Company, our safety records surpass none.

Our rides start at $50.00 per ride, all inclusive.

For those that are on a budget take note, the following will be extra:

** The basket

** Propane

** The Operator

** Bandages

...This Hot Air balloon took a nose dive just minutes after I took the pic. No one was hurt.


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SERVICES: PLOW BOY:(Gord)

We will plow your driveway for only 45.99/per square foot day or night. Call us at "Plows Are Us," for a free estimate. If it starts to melt after we get there, we are sorry, you still have to pay for the original amount of snow at the time of estimate. We are a very busy company and if we don't get to you by spring, tough shit...you signed the contract. See our services for WATER REMOVAL in your yellow pages of the phone book.


PETS FOR SALE:


Female cross dresser: (Penny)

** Part Daschund und ich weiss nicht vat else.

** Loves laundry day, and wears anything from men's shorts over her head to women's fine lingerie, she is so bi.

** Likes children, if they are quite, don't move, and are not seen.

** Loves to take long walks on the beach in the rain, and read the bible.

** Will take offers $$

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UNUSUAL PRODUCE FOR SALE:





KARUTS KNOLL:

** Find unusual mutant carrots in our shop. We specialize in Bunny Karut ears. However, you can find some more of our erotic Karut lines in our "Smutte Shoppe."

** Bunny Karut ears: Start at 5.99 - 10.99 depending on the size of the "ears."


** Karut Dildo's: Start at $24.95...add an additional $5.00 per inch. (see our catalogue)

Prices are subject to change, depending on fertilizer costs.

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USED APPAREL FOR SALE:

Our "going on our honeymoon misfits"...



** 1 - Men's used Leisure Suit, only worn once in 1972. Orange shirt, and tacky tie included.
$$ Offers, can be seen on EBay. Just use the keyword "tacky."

** 1 - Women's...vintage "going away" Granny Dress. Purse extra, because it was so cool.
ONE OF A KIND FOLKS!
Package price: $ 599.99 ..taxes extra.

That's all folkies.

(for some damn reason there is a huge space between this and the comments...scroll down if you wanna). Or you could just keep on looking at the pigs!





































4 comments:

southernbelle said...

Oh my god you are funny. Where on earth do you come us with this stuff. I need a serious brain shuffle to get as witty as you.

Brenda said...

I might be interested in the bird house. Does it have a hot tub out back? These birds down here are still foolin around.

Sally said...

You sure know how to make money! Hahaha Lord have mercy, do you lie awake at night coming up with this stuff? I just love you, Ms. Joan. You can always make me smile even in the toughest of times. Take care.

JUST A MOM said...

you are a crack up,,,,,,,,,,,, i love penny in her duds,,,,,,