Thursday, February 19, 2009

The painter

His is a nice guy. Probably about my age ..ummm 60 something. And he is doing a wonderful job of getting this old house back in shape.

Best of all he loves dogs..so the transition with him being here all day when we are at work is good.

But, he will not call her Penny, he calls HER.. "Spike." All the time. And he calls "her" "him."

Today when I came home, Penny and the painter were saying their farewells and the painter said to me " I miss my dog "Spike." Apparently they had dogs all their lives, but now that he is semi retired and only working part time they decided that after their dog Spike died to go petless, and travel more often.

He loves Penny/Spike. He never calls her Penny...it's so funny. And when he calls her Spike, she comes a running. Call me anything...except late for supper is her motto. If you want to pat my furry head and tickle me belly, I'm your dream girl/boy. I will be your Spike.

Your President came to Canada today. Holy Doddle..you would have thought he was a rock star. I certainly hope he will be your rock star. We aren't in a recession in our part of Canada ..yet, and I don't think it will happen. Ontario might have different problems because that's where the build the chariots we ride.

But it was nice of him to visit. Usually Canada gets dismissed......even tho....we are a huge country, on your border...but I think we are ..just too damn nice. We don't make enough noise. We don't raise our flags up high enough. Yes, we have seasons here that are cold, but not much different that the northern states. There always seems to be a stigma. I don't know what it is.

It's sort of like when I tell people I am a Mennonite, and they get all...Amish or Hutterite on me. Yes, I was born and raised Mennonite, but I never lived on a colony. I lived a perfectly normal life in a small town, until I started a street gang. Yes, I was a gangsta....a Mennonite bad ass. In fall, we would steal crab apples from our neighbours trees, on Halloween we would tip outhouses, and knock on seniors windows and scare them. And once I turned 16 and had my driver's licence we would do all of this again, but faster because I had a car. Life was so simple then. Steal and run. Scare and run. Then laugh your ass off after it was over. Yeah, we scored. We were smooth. Until my dad found out. My gangsta days were over, and so were my driving privileges.

I don't know how I got from Obama coming to Canada to knocking over out houses, there must be a correlation there somewhere. No? Okay. Its the paint smell that is making me crazy. Tonight I made fish for supper to try to overcome the "no odour" oil paint that smelled of cat piss and oregano. Bad choice, now the house smells like rotten fish, cat piss, and oregano.

What should I make for supper tomorrow? Nothing?... Yeah I don't want to stink this place up anymore than it is.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can remember a group of high school seniors stealing the LAST OUTHOUSE in Kit Carson county and taking it into town in the back of a pickup to ceremoniously torch it in the middle of main street. Of course the local gendarmes and the fire department didn't appreciate it overmuch. This was about a month after your birthday - IN 1963... ;-) Those CRIMINALS are probably still on the wanted list!

JimBob

Brenda said...

I wonder if outhouses are on a historical register somewhere now? I burned ours down, along with the half-ass barn, one time when I burned the trash (and forgot to watch it).

I bet Penny is in hog heaven having lovings during the week days and evenings too!

Sally said...

Well, now we know what happened to our outhouse, JimBob!!

Joan, I think you and Gord should go out to dinner tonight. :)

thekitchenlogic said...

Hopefully our Rock Star President picked up some good old Canadian tips for getting out of this stupid recession!

Now that I know you are a Mennonite (I don't think I knew this) I can't help but imagine you with a bonnet on your head. I am so ignorant! But really, how cute are you in a bonnet?

Oh, and I bet you make great pudding. My aunt is always coming back from the "Mennonites Place" with pudding. What is up with that?

Donna said...

Hahaa...and you didn't KEEP HIM???? Geez Joan!!! He Wanted to stay!!!
And I agree with Sally...go Out tonight...splurge...chocolate, Anything!!
I was a...good...girl in HS...Hahaa...hughugs

Nicole said...

Joan, You are always a pleasant stop each day. You are too funny and I need funny right now...I am sick and so is my son.
thekitchenlogic has me thinking of you with the bonnet on and saying fuck :-)
Good for Penny having made a new friend. Someone to keep her company all day.

judemiller1 said...

Didn't they TP people's trees when you were young(er)? That was a fave of my girls--I used to buy the cheap kind for them when they were going out to make mischief. I am an "abetter". Having fun vicariously, 'cause if I had done some of that stuff, my Dad would have found out and beat the crap outta me! I was a pretty good girl because I feard for my life if I was not.

Joan said...

Jim Bob is that really you? I am amazed, I have the same memory, but it happened in Horndean Manitoba. And that would have been about a month after my birthday. Halloween. I was there when they burned it down along with some hay bales....and then the cops came. We didn't start it, we just encouraged it. Then we took off like little scardy cats. And drove off in the bush to drink our beer.

Brenda...I long for an outhouse, there is nothing like sitting all alone reading the toliet paper (newspaper) and trying to dodge the spiders.

Sally, the smell is even better today. I'm taking gravol.

ohhh Kitchenlogic.. yee don't know me at all, I have a bonnet alright but under that bonnet lies a mighty hard head. And no, I don't make pudding. Mennonites buy Jello pudding. You might be thinking of the Amish. Yeah, those slackers probably make it themselves. Mennonites pride themselves on making Pineapple Square, with a Graham cracker crumb crust, crushed pineapple, with a mixture of of Jello vanilla(not instant) pudding. Only because we like to keep it real. And top it off with whipped cream.

Give me your aunts email address, I like to send some pudding her way.

Donna.... we would have loved to keep your President. He was so gracious, he took a Beaver Tail home with him to eat on the airplane. Say no more. Haaaa, but its really some kind of French donut of something....the French always win in Canada..those ..nevermind.

Nicole...sorry you aren't feeling well today. I have a Mennonite remedy. "Wonder Oil." Every Mennonite on earth has taken it and still lives to see the dawn. It's partially alchohol and something really smelly. I think Mennonites took it because drinking was not allowed. So, they invented a malady, and had happy hour every Friday.

Hey Jude... Love saying that..Like in the Beatles song...

Nope we didn't do shit with trees, we just stole the apples from them. Oh, and there was something called "knock out ginger" we used to do. But, ouch...

Mary Lou said...

To answer your question Brenda, Yes they are on the historical bldgs register,...at least SOME of them are. We have a lady here on the island that chained her self to the outhouse on her property when the county came to tear her outhouse down. It still functioned, and the County wanted it GONE. Sheriff cars and police and everything. Her oputhouse was built by the CCC company in 1930's and was well built, had a concrete floor, a real toilet, and a sink! She raised such a ruckus that the State came out and looked at it, and declared it historical, and since it is in our Ebey's Landing Historical Preserve, it had to stay! She does not use it though, and actually gives tours of it to school kids that come out and visit her farm.