Thank you Lord! And Queen Victoria...happy birthday to you by the way. Sorry I didn't get you a gift or send a card. Your gift was to me....a day off work! You rock Victoria.
I have spent the major portion of the day falling down. And not on purpose.
Yesterday I went shopping for "slippers"...yeah old lady slippers to wear around the house. My old one's were shot. I went to three ..count them (3) freaking stores and nobody sells slippers (indoor footwear) as I like to call them... in May. In winter the stores have a ton of them. Do people suddenly NOT wear indoor footwear in summer? What's the deal?
When I approached an associate at one of the stores asking for directions to the "indoor footwear" section, she guided me to regular "footwear" section. I had been there 40 times already and had not found a fuzzy slipper anywhere in sight. I dutifully followed her and we went in circles for about 10 minutes. Suddenly she gasped "well where did they go". Got me Sherlock! Finally she found one pair on a end rack. They were a fuzzy high style in pink with polka dots. Size 6.
I declined ...politely, and as we were leaving that area, I saw the men's section had hundreds of indoor footwear displayed. She left me at that point, and I decided to peruse the men's selection of indoor footwear. I still don't get it, why were all the women's indoor footwear GONE..and the men had a shit pile of them? Do more women pad around in ugly slippers than men? Or, did those women not buy their husbands comfortable indoor footwear for Christmas. Those bitches. That is the only conclusion I can come to.
Okay, so I'm in the men's section and desperate because I want a pair of soft slippers, but durable enough to let me walk outside the house or in the back yard. Like, I'm not going to switch shoes for every time I have to go in and out. I just needed slippers that had a rubber sole and were soft. Yes, I said soft, because I have delicate feet.
So, I started looking at the men's slippers...they were quite intimidating, firstly because of their size. I wasn't looking for cute..I was looking for durable and comfortable, and if it meant a man's indoor footwear..so be it. I tried on a few pair, and it was a clown show. Until I found one pair that might of been made for a very little man. You know what they say about the size of men's feet in comparison to there dinks..this pair was made for just that kind of guy...now, no wonder someone didn't buy him these for Christmas!! It would have just added insult to injury.
I tried them on. Well, jeepers creepers if they didn't fit...they were a little manly looking, but hey were black and fairly unobtrusive looking. But what I didn't count on until I took them home is they have the sole of the slipper rounded up along the front of it. In short there is a lip. A lip that makes you trip. That little lip has almost put me in the ER twice today.
I love scatter rugs.. I have them everywhere. Guess where the lip of that slipper met every time I came near one?. I have been doing a balancing act all day. But, hey..did I take them off..NO. About a half hour ago I went into the back yard to play with the dog. You see where this is going? ..... the dog went a little crazy with the playing and all, and my right foot came a little too close to my left foot and I stepped on that little teeny weenie LIP of the the other slipper and down I went like a sack of rocks. So, I guess that's 9.99 up my ass. Ouch.
I thought about giving them to Gord, because he is a man and could use manly slippers, but then that just would mean one more 911 call. He already cut his head this afternoon while cleaning up the back 40. He hit it on a eaves spout (I think he needs glasses) and I had to pour peroxide on it. Then earlier this morning he found his high blood pressure pill in front of the toilet? He asked me...ME..how it got there. Well, hell how would I know? I don't throw his pills in the bathroom and expect him to find them. (maybe I should it might be fun to watch) . I put them in a little pill container with all the dates on it. So, after a lot of "maybe this..maybe that's" We came upon an agreement that he probably dropped it when he was taking his pills. YOU THINK. So, I said...well, eat your pill. He said I'm not eating a pill that's been in front the toilet. I told him he was the only one in the bathroom at the time, and if he pissed beside the toilet, it was only his germs. He cleaned the pill off and ate it. So, I guess he was fairly confident that he didn't piss beside the toilet. I wish his mother was still alive...so I don't have to be her anymore.
Pot roast for supper.....Donna had pot roast yesterday, and it made me hungry for it today. Mine sort of looks a little ugly...but it was in hour one...it had 2 more hours to go.
Does anyone have some lady slippers for sale or rent..I have 50 cents?