Sunday, May 03, 2009

Pooters is fine

He spent a restful night.....after I found the OFF button. He was looking a leeetle bit deflated at one point. After all how much gas can one gnome pass...(say that 50 times really fast)!

He isn't really light it thought..he is sensitive to movement. That makes more sense. I found that out today when I was trying to get him to "fart" while I was taking a video. I really wanted to share...with the internet... the sounds that can come out of a truly fine looking gnome made out of plastic. I put him on the patio table, got out my video gear, and that little bastard would not fart. He was in broad daylight! So, I re-read the instructions and it said he was motion sensitive. Well, pardon me, I guess my bifocals were on the wrong side of my head yesterday. I put them there because I got a haircut from hell and I didn't want to see my sheep shorn head ever AGAIN. Nevertheless, yes, he farts when you walk past him, OR unless you have the movie camera going...then he does not. You have no idea how frustrated I was trying to get him to fart for the movie. I tried moving the table, walking past him...and every freaking time I turned off the camera...he farted. That sonofabitch.

I had him on the kitchen table this morning while he was still in his box, and we were having lunch, and holy moly, he starting making noises...I'm laughing, Gord is gagging...begging me to find the OFF switch. Real farting really bothers me, but fake farting brings out another part of me. It's probably the "no smell factor."

Anyway, he will be a good addition to the rest of the pond people this summer. He has a way about him that will carry him through.

He loves doing the happy dance, so he should liven up the crew of green alligators, and long necked geese. Lets not forget the fake frogs, fish, bunnies and ..yes a fake cat. Fortunately none of these critters poop around my pond, but now I have one that fake farts.

And when the summer winds blow across my back yard, and neighbours have their windows wide open...I have a treat for them.

This is the end of the farting tales...but I did see on the box that his real name is Hans, and you can collect Knees, Boomps and Daisy as well.. the farty foursome ...Awesome.

I have no shame.


cocoabean said...

I'm beginning to think you and Poolie are related.....

cocoabean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

He must be like one of those auto-flush toilets that spews and flushes EXCEPT when you really need it to do that. Then, it just sits there with a smug grin and says, "Sorry about that. I'm not cleaning it up!" Keep an eye on Pooter so he doesn't get any ideas.

Maybe he and Heinous could have a play date sometime? How do you feel about play dates? Do kids really need a "date" to go have fun? What is this world coming to?

Nicole said...

I really think you need to get the other three! Imagine the the chorus of farts coming from your backyard!

Donna said...

Hahaaa...I'm Sure your haircut looks Wonderful! And Hans will be the perfect addition to the pond!!hughugs

Joan said...

Cocobean...Poolie feeds beer to unsuspecting plastic objects. I have still have my pride. a little shy, so I don't think a play date is feasible just yet, let's give him a chance to meet the ugly pond people first.

Nicole.. we usually have a chorus of frogs in spring ...this should just bring it up a notch. heh should see my would change your mind.

Anonymous said...

The eyes look suspiciously like the might be light sensors for the motion detection. Try waving a flashlight across his eyes..