Thursday, January 28, 2010

It couldn't get any worse..butt

Our next door neighbours did it to us again. They left this morning for the "land of old farts" Palm Springs California for two months and we are stuck looking after their house AGAIN. This will be three years in a row. Apparently we don't know how to say NO. My big mouth flaps at the best of times, and I am opinionated ... and partly a bitch. But can I say NO? no i can't, then I turn into a teeny weeny little wimp.

Last year after looking after their house for two months, I put my foot down. I told Gord, this is enough! Gord was in agreement so we both put all four of our foots (feet)down. Well, you can see how long that lasted. Until they asked us again. And we said SURE NO PROBLEM! Glad to help a rich neighbour who can afford to go away for the winter to Palm Springs and mingle with the likes of Jerry Lewis and misc. dead movie stars.

So, as it stands now we are using those four feet we put down, to kick our asses. For two months we will ... on a consistent basis kick each others butt on the day we have to INSPECT the house, which will be three times a week.

On inspection day, Gord will open the door of the house, I will follow and kick him in the ass. On leaving the house Gord will follow me and kick me in the ass. Fair.

Saturday will be INSPECTION day, and I am getting prepared. I'm not looking forward to getting my ass kicked, so I have a plan. I found a little pillow, which I will name "my ass pillow" MAP for short that I can safely tuck under my pants. He, on the other hand is never prepared for anything, so I'm thinking I will come out the winner.

So, by the time they come home we should be dead. Or have giant hemorrhoids. Hey, it's all on them. They didn't know we couldn't say "NO"...and try to kick our asses to death.

So what I'm saying here is: Don't be afraid to say NO because if you don't, it might feel like a Toyota with major factory issues rammed up your ass. And there is no warranty for this. I suspect we will both be wearing our air bags on our hips...to collect all the fecal matter once this is all over.

Truly, "It's Always Something."

balonie..taking some time to do some butt exercises.



8 comments:

Poolie said...

I would hope they pay you handsomely for your efforts. Like....$1,000 or so.

Nicole said...

They should be paying you for your services! At the very least they should bring you something great back from Palm Springs.

I like your new picture and I love your coat! You look lovely!

Donna said...

Oh well...Maybe they'll do something REAL NICE for y'all!??
Do they Ever respond, in kind, when you need help??
hughugs

judemiller1 said...

I ask my neighbor to look after the house while Fred and I were gone. What I really asked her was, "If the place burns down, call Fred's cell phone." I will of course turn off the water hoses to the washer and turn down the heat--there is no need to "look after" anything else, ahh--but you are such a good neighbor Joanie--gotta love ya!

Joan said...

Poolie are you kidding one year we got a candle, the next year we got a nick knack ugly fish...with a candle inside of it and last year we got a bottle of wine (they know Gord doesn't even drink wine) and some cheese?

If we were close neighbours I would do it without any expectations whatsoever, but we aren't. We never associate other than ... over the fence kind of crap.

Joan said...

Nicole...thanks..my coat is really lovely. I hope they bury me in it when I go. I will try to get a really good pic of it.

Joan said...

Donna..we never go anywhere, and we are really really independant people. Very seldom do we ask for any help. I'm sure if I asked they would respond. I just hate being taken for granted by a couple I can't really say are our friends.

Joan said...

Jude...I don't have a real problem with helping out, but unlike you guys...this is for two freaking months! Two years ago their furnace quit working in the middle of winter! Yikes. Fortunately Gord is a handy man.