Poor little guy, he looks hungry. So what! We gotta eat don't we? Come on into my kitchen.
I made what I like to call "Stuffed Carp with crap." Don't try this at home, because I have purposely left out some of the ingredients because it's a secret family recipe. Just like KFC.
(the following contains scenes of violence... caution is advised).
1. First of all, you have to train your carp to "sit pretty."
2. Gather...a hammer or a very large cinder block.
3. Say a prayer for him
4. And whack him.
6. Dinner is on.
7. No need to sever the head, because you want to stuff him from the top.
8. I use rice with a little soy sauce, mushrooms, onions, lemon juice, and a few old newspapers soaked in chicken broth if I can't fill him up to the top. Add a dash of pepper, and a dash of cooking love.
9. Put the carp in a large baking dish, uncovered.
10. Preheat your oven at 350. Open the window to get the fish stank out of your kitchen.
11. Make a small cup of about 1/4 cup ketchup and 1 tsp. of horseradish and stir it all about.
12. Smear it on the crap...ummm I mean the carp.
13. Bake for 20 minutes if it was dead, or 30 minutes if it was still wiggling. We are talking fresh fish here people.
Serve with oven fried taters, newspaper/rice stuffing, and a nice salad of your choice.
Bon appetite..balonie style.
I really should be a food blogger.