Monday, February 05, 2007

Did you just see my weather pixie?

It's -31 and she is wearing a nice warm coat.

On Ellen's blog her weather wearing a sweater for God's sake!! And she only lives a few miles from my house. How did the Pixie Chicks get all befuddled?

If this is a weather related post you have been waiting for.. you are in luck!!

It is sooooo cold that:

** When my dog took a dump yesterday, it stood upright and froze on the spot. I'm not "shitting" you! I was watching her when she went out because is was so deadly cold, and when she did her business it stood straight up!! HAAA... And as dogs do, she turned around and was going to smell her crap, and backed up very this turd was standing upright!! She looked at it very suspiciously, that could not have come from my bowels. She circled it a few time and then got scared and ran back up the stairs to the door. She came in with frozen feets and furrowed brow, and later prayed for Global Warming.

** My Garage door opener no longer works. Unless you try to open it between 1:00PM and 4:00 when the sun hits it, and it will unthaw. In the mornings I have to hit the door opener button from the house, and run outside to help it up. And it creaks and groans...but so far I've been lucky. I'm waiting for the morning when I can call into work and say....I'm sorry boss, my truck is being held hostage in my garage, by electronics.

** Ice Fog...When I went to work this morning I could not see a thing in front of me. The exhaust from all the other vehicles created a haze which blinded me. When it gets this cold, there is no wind... and all the emissions from the vehicles stay where they are...right in front of you if you are following another car..

**When Gord got to the shop this morning he was going crazy. One of the tenants furnaces had gone out, his nieces car would not go into reverse..... blahhh blahh blahh...poor guy. this weather he had to get up on the roof of our building to unthaw the chimney with a propane torch to get the tenant some heat. Then later he had to go and figure out the problems with the nieces car. No wonder they call him Gordy .. Good Guy. Lord, he takes on way to much.

**We are caretaking our neighbours house next door while they languish in Palm Springs. As of yesterday, their garage door has also been frozen shut. This was our point of entry with their alarms system so we can't get in there house either. Their daughter just dropped off a key so now we can at least check to see if their furnace is working etc. gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwddamit.

Remember in October? When I said I was looking forward to winter. Fucking kill me. How stupid can I be? Nobody deserves this crap. And the weatherman says we will be in this cold snap for another week!!

I used to make fun of the "snow birds" that moved to warmer climates in the winter..but ya's looking a little tempting.


Sally said...

You can always come to FLA, Joanie - got plenty of room. :)

Brenda said...

Flash frozen turds and hostage taking garages is a cold snap? Come on down to the tropics, it's supposed to be 42F here today!

Joan said...

Sally..yer on!!

Brenda...sorry 42F is way to cold for me now. I need some real heat.

Michelle said...

Stay a while with Sally and then the two of you hop on a plane and come here. Global warming is showing her nasty face in this area.

ellen said...

Used to be that, whenever we had a vicious cold snap like this, I would phone up my mom and chew her and Dad out for emigrating to this frozen wasteland, of all places. I mean, this kind of cold is just plain IGNORANT.

Brenda said...

Ok, ok, just move on down there with Sally. I'll just come visit you both when it gets to cold for me up here. :-)

mary lou said...

ok I understood about most of this, but I flat dont get the bit about the chimney and the heat? How does a chimney freeze and why dont they have heat?