Sunday, February 04, 2007

Suspect at large! Missing in action.

We have been missing someone in our blogging community for over two weeks, and I was getting a little concerned. She said her computer was "down"...but I see a more sinister plot unfolding.

Was it the beans that did her in?

We all know how she likes to "map" things here are all the "Bean" growing regions in North America. So, I beg of you who live in these regions to look closely at her picture. Please call Blogger Authorities if you see her.

She will be likely wearing a schleppy backpack. These are just an artists rendering of what they may look like, but I think the shoes are original.

She is prone to headaches, thus her sometimes unusual behaviour and colour,.. as I said before do not approach her unless you are certain she is not PM..essing.

This individual also suffers from Transit anxiety. Any loud noise or rude remark could set her off. So, it is suggested that you approach her with care.

If you do spot her on public transit, she will likely be sporting a "map." DO NOT, take the map away from her, I repeat, DO NOT TAKE THE MAP AWAY FROM HER..because mapping and napping are very important to this dangerous individual.

Yet, another map at her bus stop. These maps keep her in touch with reality, so again, leave her the hell alone.

When you see her exiting the bus, give her a wide berth, because she is carrying her schleppy with a dozen beer in it, plus a wide variety of perishible goods she just purchased at Safeway... Do not try to touch it. Even if you smell cheese.

This would be a critical time not to approach the suspect, because after a hard day at work, she is looking forward to taking off all her clothes and hitting her comfy couch.

Over the last two months, she has been spotted with this slimeball. He may be holding her captive and making her watch his lame movie over and over again, until he has her brain washed. OR...making "R" rated beastiality movies. So, again ...steer clear if you see a donkey near her apartment. You know the one,'s just up the hill from the bus stop.

If you see her on a Sunday, doing world wide crosswords in a little cafe, "just across the border"... (sing with me) do not approach...because this is some serious shit, and even if Borat kidnapped her (make that middleagednapped) her..crosswords come first, napping comes second.

She could be hiding in a phone booth near you. We all know her aversion to cell phones. She has been profiled by Blogger, and the last results pointed to a phone booth.

But, at the end of it all, she is just a girl, a girl waiting for a bus. One day she will hop on the right one.

Love ya Kat.... Come out..come out from wherever you are?...

PS...she will be back next weekend ..'god willing and the creek don't rise'



Brenda said...

Ha! I love it!!!

Mary Lou said...

Oh you are going to be blog fodder for sure when her puter gets fixed!!! LOLOLOL Good one Joanie!

Michelle said...

ROFL - you are such a clever chickie.

Leslie said...

Boy, do you know her or what?! :) This is awesome, Joan.

Joan said...

She phoned me Sunday afternoon as I was raiding her blog for pic's. I told her I was doing a blog about her, and she was curious, but I didn't tell her a THING. And there wasn't a THING she could do about it..heh...I like having the upper hand.

She is getting mighty lonely without her computer... First no cable, now no internet..gawwd..I might have a disc at work she can use, but I forgot to look for it today. If I can find it, I will ship it off PDQ and she can use it whenever her shit goes down. I had a Windows 2000 CD, but I shipped back to our head office...dang..and that's the one she needs. I think the one at the office is XP, but even so, if I can find it .. and it's legal..she should be able to use it. I will look for it tomorrow for sure.