Monday, July 23, 2007

Don't cry for me Diarrhea.......

My (as in my own personal) diarrhea is pretty well gone, I still have a squeak here and there, but it's getting better. Fortheloveofthepoopingshute. I can take off the pampers and dance in the streets without leaving a trail. It's pretty awesome.

Diarrhea and I have been pretty close friends these last few days, so I will probably just shake hands with it before it leaves for good. However, I will wash my hands immediately afterwards. I don't believe in kissing diarrhea goodbye either, because we weren't that close as we were only into the first 2 days of our struggling relationship. But, after a thoughtful night, I decided, if Diarrhea really wanted to leave me, I would have to do something special. I was thinking about something along the lines of U Tube, for posterity, but trying to line up the camera with the shitter became a challenge. Plus, I didn't want anyone to see my bare ass, I have no problem showing you Gord's ass in the shitter, but he was just reading the newspaper, I would have been grimacing with pain, and you would have felt so sorry for me and sent me thousands of emails. I would have no part of that. So what I did, 6:00 PM sharp, I went on the deck and let out the loudest fart in history. I shouldn't have aimed it at the garden, because it blew the sprinkler pump in my pond on it's side. Hell, hath no fury as a diarrhea fart that was saying it's farewell. Now, I feel light as a feather. I have a spring to my step!

Enough of this "shit"...I promise I will quit it. But ..hey I like talking about bodily functions.

It's still 5000 degrees here, we can hardly function, but apparently our neighbours can. Nothing like seeing 60 some year ole guys without their shirts on, frolicking in the sprinkler with the grandkids. Yes, the grands will have good memories, but their bodies are etched in my mind. And, if I take a good look in the mirror Gord and I would look the same. Some people just have more guts, and that comes with confidence within yourself. I have to keep saying to myself, I don't give a crap on how people perceive me now that I am growing older. It's a fact of life, I do the best I can, but gravity takes it toll. I will never be that fresh faced little cheerleader I was in the 60's. I'm getting kind of wrinkled, and that is how she goes my friend. You can't go back, all you can do it take care of what you got.

For supper, I cut off about 6 pieces of whole wheat french bread, and spread some garlic, basil and olive oil on them, topped it off with tomatoes, low fat mozz cheese, and some marinated shrimp. I broiled that. Fresh cucumber salad followed. You just don't get hungry when it's so hot. Now that I made it, it will do it more often, it was sooooo good.

Gord has lost 25 lbs. Yes!!!! and you know what, I don't even hear a whimper of what was before his H.A. He eats healthy at home, and I know he loves it. I am sure sometimes he probably gets hungry for a cheeseburger, but I think he gets it!! He just bought a whole new set of clothing for his business, he is looking very dapper. His old uniform was so beat up and ugly, and didn't portray his image anymore. He is feeling good about himself, and that in itself will serve him well, to keep up the good work in loosing the weight, and getting healthy. I took me a long time to get him to this place, but it was worth it, because ..he gets it.

I have rambled ....I can't stop typing...I just have so much to say. But Penny thinks otherwise. Apparently she can't go to bed without me. The downside is she is wet, because she has been yapping at another dog on the other side of the fence while I had the sprinkler going. I'm not sleeping with a stinky wet bitch. Well, not today anyway:)

Haloscan has been a beotch lately. Don't get frusterated if you want to leave a comment.

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