Sunday, December 31, 2006

It's Always Something...is three years old today

Three years ago I wrote:

It's New Years Eve...and we are snowed in tighter than a fart. I couldn't open the front door this morning to get the newspaper.. that wasn't there. Wouldn't you know it, it storms on my day off...shit.. I have noticed over the years that the storms always hit on the weekends or on my day off. No use having a storm unless you can get the day off work methinks. My poor Penny (my dog) couldn't even go out for a whiz this morning because the steps leading from the deck to the backyard were totally snowed in, so she pissed on the deck...oh well..at least is wasn't in the house!

Gord (my bitter half) couldn't wait to get out of here this morning to plow the snow. He bought a "blade" that attaches to our Bronco and he has been dying to use it. By lunch he had the whole cul de sac plowed....except our driveway..huh?...then he took off...I hope everyone in Winnipeg keeps there children in today...because he's on a mission and is known to scoop up what's ever in his way! 10 bucks says by the time he comes home the transmission, motor and whatever other moving parts the truck has will be shot!... because...it's always something around here.

And look what we woke up to this morning:






What a coincidence!

Plow Boy is in his glory. He has been plowing for 3 hours steady now. This is what if looked like at first:



Here he has managed to bring all the snow to the centre of the cul-de-sac and is preparing to make a road around it for all of the neighbours. When the real plows come they can move it wherever they want. But for now, everyone can get out. I was kinda worried he'd get dizzy driving in a circle like that for 3 hours.




Plow Boy saves the day!! ... I like the fact somethings still remain the same.

Now he is off to clear all the streets in the city before they have a chance to get out their equipment and spoil all his fun. My poor Explorer, she will be limping home tonight.

I'm feeling pretty perky today. I must have slept forever. I had a little spurt of energy when I wrote my last blog, but that soon proved to be just that.."a little spurt."

We plan on having Steak and Lobster later tonight, if he finishes clearing the world of it's snow in time. I have roasted potatoes, mushrooms and asparagus tips in the works as well. Clearin all that snow gives my man a hungerin for meat and pataters!

As I was reading my very first blog three years ago, I am a little sorry I switched to haloscan later on, because all my comments are gone except for the time I used blogger for comments. I guess if I wouldn't have switched templates 3,465 times they would still be there. I know!

My first comments were from Mary Lou and Sally! Hi you two! And here is what they had to say.



At 7:03 PM, Mary Lou said…
Hey!!! It works fine!! DOnt worry about hello working, because I cant get it to work for me today either. OH YEAH PIZZA just got here!!! gotta go eat. I will be your mentor anytime. HAPPY NEW YEAR Joan!

At 7:30 PM, Sally said…
Welcome Joan to this crazy blogging life. Really, you're gonna love it and make so many new friends.Happy New Year!

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Okay, enough of all the schmaltzy talk. I have bone to pick with Canadian Tire. Turn off your sets if you don't want to hear me say the "F" word A LOT.

As usual, I managed to buy a number of gifts that were not suitable and they needed to be returned. I have no idea why somebody wouldn't like a "Talking Pig"... You put it in your fridge and when the door opens it belts out "OINK OINK OINK OINK" until your nose bleeds or you close the fridge door. It certainly would be a reminder to those who live together, that one of them is at the trough, when he/she might be better off grazing on Kellogg's All-Bran with Psyllium. Hurt feelings abounded, so back he went in his pig pen. The other gift wasn't inappropriate, but TOO EXPENSE AND YOU SHOULD HAVE WAITED FOR IT GO ON SALE! Well, Einstein, Christmas would have been over! The Giftee, scoured the flyer's for days after Christmas and found it had gone on sale for 40.00 bucks less than I paid for it. Score.

I don't like taking anything back, much less ask for a discount for an item purchased 3 weeks ago. There was no argument to be won, I would have to take back the pig and the receipt for the item that went on sale. Schweinhund!

I drove to Canadian Tire, really slow, because I was pouting. And, YOU in the YELLOW, SUV..WTF! You have the nerve to pull past me at an alarming rate of speed and cut me off, just because I was driving in a conscientious manner. Who drives a Yellow SUV? It looks like a very large gay piss pot!

Once in the store, with my pig and receipt in hand I approached the Customer Service section, tore off the ticket number and stood in line. I was number 28, the number clock on the wall said 3. I was 25th. in line. And all I had was a pig in poke and a receipt. Fuck! The line broke up and people started to wandering around because they knew they were in for the long haul. Some of them actually went to the "Stool" section and brought new stools to sit on while they waited. I just hung on some metal shelving looking lifeless. A very perky lady behind me started to make conversation with all those around her that would listen. She was bringing back a wine cooler fridge thing a ma jig. She went into great detail, on how stupid the manufacturer of the wine cooler was, because none of her wine bottles would fit into it... and letting us know every time the clock counter changed numbers. I wanted to suggest to her, that perhaps if she bought smaller bottles of ripple they might fit. I don't know what she was trying to fit into that thing, but I think a fridge would have been more appropriate for her wine tastes. I know, because nothing I make would fit in there!

Then she went into great detail, about cashing in on boxing day sales, shopping early, yadda yadda yadda. I kept a frozen clenched teeth grin about me all the time before I set off my medic alert bracelet. God...it went on forever....."oh look, she kept on saying...it's number 22, 23, 24, 25, and when it turned to 26, I said to her...oh look, it's your turn to fuck yourself!! Okay, I left off the last three words, but fortheloveofkriskringle......get her away from me.

Finally, it was my turn. I was prepared. I had the pig in a bag with the receipt, and the other receipt for the hugely overblown price of the item I had bought. I wasn't sure if they would give me the sale price after the fact, but I was instructed to be firm. I can produce tears at will, so given this god given talent, I was sure that if I was rejected they might just feel sorry for me and give me back my 40.00 bucks. First I presented the Pig. No problem, they asked if it was defective, and I said no, the only problem with it was too vocal. She laughed. And gave me my 3.99 back. Then I produced the receipt, and the flyer of the overpriced item I had bought before Christmas. She took it, checked it out and said YES, they could do it because it was within the time limit of the purchase. I didn't even have to cry! But before I could take off my "begging face" she said..."we will have to clear this with the department." So, I left my "begging face" on until the Supervisor showed up and put his John Hancock on it! Crikey, that was easy. As I was leaving I saw Ms. #26 was still at the till arguing with the cashier about her wine cooler, so I whipped off my sweat pants and gave my moon.

So, after that I was just giddy with power. Suddenly I wanted to buy more stuff in that store! I needed a new electric fry pan, I ran to the frying pan section and found the perfect one. It was 49.99. Hmmmm.... now with my new sales skills and all, I wondered it I could get it cheaper. I had a 10.00 coupon for Canadian Tire in my purse, so I thought okay, this will make it 39.99, which is a reasonable price. I took it to the checkout and proceeded to pay for it, when the Cashier said, "do you want to check your Canadian Tire Points?" DO I!! Yeahhhh.. this was better than drugs!!! She put in my card, and I had 25.00 in Canadian Tire Points. So, this baby only cost me ...you do the math... but it was cheap!! I turned into Scrooge.

I went home and kicked Tiny Tim.

Well, it's time for me to start supper. Plow Boy is still on the home front, defending our country from snow. A man and his plow are not soon parted.

HAPPY NEW YEAR GOOD FRIENDS...I'm lifting my glass to you and yours!

9 comments:

Joe said...

Hey I'm first! Yahoo! What do I win? No thank you I don't want to ride with Gord snow plowing! Happy New year girl maybe he will find his way home! :-)

Z said...

That was a very amusing story! Ha you always make me crack up!!

Brenda said...

I nearly made it through your post without spewing my coffee on the screen and then I came to, "I went home and kicked Tiny Tim".

I love you dammit!

jimBob said...

Happy New Year!

ellen said...

Could've used Gord to clear away the huge snowbank blockin our freshly cleared driveway after the city snow plow came down our street....

Happy New Year, Joan.

Special K said...

Happy New Year, Balonie, and Happy Birthday, Balonie's Blog. :)

Thanks for the call last night;I always like having a dumbass chat with you. ;)

nj said...

Oh, Joan, I'm afraid I'm like the woman in line who wanted to talk to people! I delight in talking to people who will respond to me, however, I do catch on quickly if the person doesn't seem to want to respond. And I can often draw the person into what they do want to talk about and that lets them enjoy conversation with a stranger. But if a person natters on about something not of general interest, that's difficult to endure! What about bloggers who natter on like this? I'd better watch it.

I think maybe you got all the snow! We didn't get any at all and no prospect of snow in the immediate future. It's uncanny! We are so used to snow at this time of the year. I think we're beginning to get uneasy about it. What if we get our really cold weather in July this year? We'd rather have it now.
Nancy

Joan said...

Hiya Joe!! You are always first in my books!!!

Z..yes it was partly truth and partly fiction..that's the way I likes it:)

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Brenda, luvs you right back!!


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Happy New Year to you too JimBob!

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Ellen, after all the effort Gord made to clear the street the plows were here bright and early, and knocked down his mountain. I even put a flag up on it late last night..usually they plow us 5 days later!! buggers...

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SK...nice talking to you too, even if it was a little late in the eve.

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Nancy, you never natter! I really enjoy your blog and reading your daily progress in getting your life back in order. I know how hard it is for you. I saw how hard it was for my mother, and maybe for me one day. I pay close attention to the healing process.

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