Monday, January 12, 2009

The credit card bills from Christmas are in

I didn't realize we had such a good time. Normally I am a little on the cheap side. I must of let my hair down...all three inches of it. It was probably all the herring I bought at Christmas for those "Lutherans".... man they can scarf that shit down.

Who knew I would buy a 4' old fashioned standing Santa Claus, that I just had to have. I hated to put him down into the basement when it was all over, because whenever I looked at him, he made me smile. His eyes were piercing, and I felt him looking back at me. And he was soft and had had the most beautiful dark red velvet suit ever. We had it going on. Bye bye you sexy santa. We got a date next December.

Ahh yes all the prezzies and the food, and the liquor and my santa pants probably brought the bill higher. I bought a pair red micro fibre ...ummm how do I describe them?...lounging pants for 9.99. I'm wearing them right now. They are so warm, and so light, you can't even feel you are wearing anything. The downside is they are butt ugly. Yesterday (Sunday) I had to make an unexpected trip to the store. I was wearing my red lounging pants at the time. I never gave it a thought as I went downstairs to the closet to put on my parka, mitts, scarf, plus I stuck a few menthol suppositories up my ass to stay warm. Jeez it's cold out there.

Anyway I took a look at myself in the full length closet mirror before I left. And what to my surprise, I looked like like a "bag lady"....all I needed was a shopping cart. The red lounging pants really set off the look. Although I had carefully paired it with my black fake fur jacket that has snowflakes running through it. I choose a very nice pair of boots to make this "look" come alive. The boots are black, so that was a bonus, but they are high tops, and scrunched up my red lounging pants over the top of them. I indeed looked like Saint Nick. But it was getting late, and I thought "what the hell" I have seen worse and went shopping. Opps, I forgot one thing, I had bed head hair as well, it was Sunday and I didn't give a crap.

By the time I got to the store (in the freezing cold) I had already forgotten what I looked like. Never gave it a thought. Nobody pointed at me, at least if they did I didn't notice. I just bought my bottle of ketchup..yes ketchup, because I was making a sweet and sour sauce for supper and I had run out of ketchup. All that fucking work for a bottle of ketchup.

So, the moral of this story is.... make something else for supper if you run out of ketchup. In this weather it's not worth the effort. Tonight it is supposed to go down to -32 degrees C. a wind chill of "holy shit"............I'm keeping my red lounging pants on all night long baby...all night long.


Mary Lou said...

Yep, Not worth it for just ketchup! Gads, I would of loved to have a picture of that!

AHHH But it is a DRY cold. ;)

Sally said...

I'm sure you looked simply adorable, Dahling!!

Dorie said...

Around here the stores turn the heat up so the employees can work in shirtsleeves. Meanwhile, the customers, dressed for the weather, die from the heat (bad for business!) I haven't had red pants in years- I ought to get some!

Poolie said... might want to consider a couple of entries featuring butt-ugly sleepy pants!

Brenda said...

I have hot pink ones and they rock!
It's supposed to get down and dirty colder here too but only down to -10C. I ain't sticking my head out the door until it gets back up to 50F! (which is what it was yesterday).

Donna said...

With all those cameras laying around...we want Pictures!!Hahaa...hughugs

Smart Mouth Broad said...

LOL @ wind chill of holy shit!