Monday, June 27, 2005

Fart Jar

I have discovered something that just makes me laugh, and laugh somemore..A FART JAR.

Now, this might be old hat to some of you, but I don't know why I never thought of it myself. It's right up there with the whoopee cushion, but a little more discreet.

My hippy girlfriend is having a birthday party on Saturday. I always get her a regular gift..and then something really stupid. Okay, my regular gift is stupid too...but she is too polite to tell me. Last week I stumbled upon a web-site that sold Fart Jars. Now, you might be wondering why I was putting "fart" in the Google search engine..my only excuse is that I am a moron. I had no damn good reason. But little treasures can begotten when one makes a bad decision and clicks on it. And so it was for me. The way I see it, I can make one of these jars lickitty split, without paying the price they are asking...in U.S. dollars no less.

All you have to do is take an old pickle jar..or any other jar in your fridge, that has mold growing on it, and you don't want anyway. Put it in the dishwasher, (take out the crud first) wash it, take it out, peel off what's left of the label and clean it up. Okay then, now you are good to go...but wait..depending of the size of your friend, you might want to judge how big of a jar you might need. My friend Janis is only 5'1"..so I thought a small Bick Pickle Jar would do...how big could her farts be??? oh my...then you use your best graphics software program to make a label..letting the bearer of this gift know what it is for. Jocularity will reign at the party I assure you. Well maybe not..I haven't given it to her yet, but I am sure this is a good bet...it has to work!! Pray for me.

I have this picture in my mind, on how it would work if someone would actually use it...I know, I am sick.

Soooo, then. I am thinking of going into the Fart Jar business meself...yup. I can work from my home, no more kissing the bosses behind..he he...(fart joke was there, but I left it alone). People are actually buying this crap...I cannot believe it..when all you have to do is go into your junk pile and put a label on it.

I will see how old hippy chick will like it on Saturday. She will be my "test dummy" whilst I create my new empire. I will of course have to see it work first.

They always say, when you start a new business, test it out on your friends first, and if they are your friends after that..it might be viable.

I have done a home study, with Gord, but some reason we can't catch them in time...the jar remains empty and smell lingers on. I guess I will have to do more research in capturing it at the crucial moment.

It's always nice to have a goal in life.

balonie

4 comments:

Laura said...

Hey! thanks for stopping by my site! I'll take a fart jar - actually with the way "things" fly around my house I may need more than one!!!
Nice site!!!
Hope to see you again!

whitey said...

I would think it the givers duty to make the first deposit.

Lowly Scribe said...

It might add a bit extra to the price if you collected and sold famous people's farts. "Herein is a fart from Elvis," for example. It's a cinch to sell on eBay. Love the new site look, by the way.

Leslie said...

Hey, it's like walking into a greenhouse in here! How pretty! :)

If you run across any honkin' industrial sized mayo jars, do one up for my father-in-law, wouldja?

He loves stuff like that. : )