** If we are both reading the newspaper at the kitchen table I slide mine over his so he can only read the bottom half of it. When he goes to move mine, I say, ohh, sorry, and then I do it again.
**I will totally make up a story, and tell it in the most convincing manner. Once he falls for it, I tell him its not true. I don't know why he doesn't catch on, I have only done the 9887 times.
**When he throws his dirty shorts in the laundry and they are inside out, they stay that way after I wash them and put them back in the drawer. Not my job man.
**When I drive his van on a short trip to the store, I adjust the seats, all the mirrors, change the radio station and smoke in it.
** My all time favorite is when he is telling me something, and I say "pardon me, I didn't hear you," and when he repeats it ..I will tell him I heard him the first time. He falls for it everytime LOL..ohhh my.
I do a lot more than this, but once I started to write it down it started to look a jest a little childish, so I will keep the rest to myself:) I don't stick my finger in his mouth when he yawns either..well not anymore, because he bit me, the summamabitch.
He has habits that make me crazy, absolutley f*king carazzzy!! I'lles give ya ferinstance...
He will be in the garage fixing his motorcycle (that he has been fixing for the last 10 years)... and he needs something from the house, he will yell...HEY...HEY.. I let him yell HEY, for hours before he catches on that either I am not in the house, or my name is NOT "HEY." He will come into the house all in a huff and when he finds me there, he asks why I didn't answer him. Duhhh I repeat for the 1000th. time, "my name isn't HEY." your rudeness!! He totally ignores me and finds what he is looking for and goes back out. Fifteen minutes later, HEY!... dickhead.
The most annoying thing he does ... is save stuff ( NEW STUFF). If he buys a bunch of new socks or something like that, he will put them in the back of the drawer until he thinks his old socks are sufficiently used up. This makes me nuts!!
He buys stuff on sale, but never uses it, because he is saving it. We have a perfectly good new gazebo sitting in a box in the garage that we cannot put up. Why?... because he is saving it until we build a new house. Well, why can't we use it at this house, and take it down if we ever build this pipe dream of a house?...nooooo...we also have a two hammocks and a huge mother BBQ ...brand new... sitting in the garage, awaiting the right moment to be used. You don't even want to know the amount of new tools and equipment he has stashed away to put in his ultimate garage when we build the house. Right now, I believe he is "saving" the property we bought to build the house on, because I don't see anything getting done to build one. Sometimes I just want to stick a letter opener in my eye.