Friday, June 17, 2005

Sneaking in some Friday Afternoon humour

I had to write down these jokes NOW, because I only remember a joke for nanosecond, then it's all over. If you tell me the same joke 5 minutes later, I will laugh again like I had never heard it before. Damn the 70's.


Bear: Walks into a bar and sits down.

Barkeep: Hey, there bear, what can I gitya?


Barkeep: Hey bear, I said..what can I gitya?


Barkeep: gittin mad...BEAR, WHAT CAN I GITYA?

Bear: A Martini please

Barkeep: Okay then, why the big pause.


Its like the horse joke: Why the long face...ahhhhaaaaa


How do you keep a moron in suspense?

Tell you tomorrow

(more raucous laughter) need to throw stuff at me.


I am just whiling away my afternoon, the boss is away.

...Would I be a bad Canadian if I said I hate Margaret Atwood's books? I do. I think they stink.
How Un-Canadian of me. I should be hung.

..Would I be a bad Canadian if I said Gordon Lightfoots music makes me wanna hurl? Yes. I. Would. Because Gordon Lightfoot is a musical genius, and we only have one in Canada, and he is it. The CRTC thinks so, have ever listened to a Canadian radio station, where they have to have 40% Canadian content. Guess what they play the most...yup..good old Gordie and the "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." And better yet, they will play his Canadian Railroad Trilogy, which is endless, so they can meet the quota. Yes, mam..I wouldn't shit ya.

..Would I be a bad Canadian if I didn't use the word "eh" ....again... yes. I. would. I will tell you why after I come back in from having a smoke, I can do anything I want today, there is no one here. I can go out the door, smoke and come back in, out-smoke-in out-smoke-in. you get it. I don't even feel like smoking anymore, I am only doing it because if fecking well can.
Out -

In - phew its hot out there. I had to get a shovel to move all the butts off the lawn.

The ice-cream truck just passed as I was outside, with the music 39876 decibels higher that the human ear can bear. I didn't buy an ice-cream cone, because he didn't take interact. Loser. I fart in your general direction Mr. Ice-cream truck man.

Well, for the loveofaduck...Mr. Bossman just walked his "shorts" less, he musta been golfing AGAIN. gotta go>>>>>>>>> I'll tell you the "eh" story another time. (you should see his legs..lordy..)

Back...I am at home and sound. Bossman told me to hit the road, because I am a wonderful employee. You see, yesterday they had a golf day for employees, do I strike you as a golfer?....I didn't think so. I said I would rather slave in the office than to try to hit a ball with a long stick and put my eye out. He tried to look secretly disappointed that I was not joining in the fun...but I knew it took the load off of him knowing the office would be open, and not all 700 calls would be directed to his cell phone. Anywho..that's what I did. So, when shortypants walked in today...IN THE MIDDLE OF MY BLOGGING...and smoking and such...I said can I go home early?..he said...away you go my child..and I went to Winner's to buy a nice summer they have anything over size 2?... NO..thought so. Back to Value Village.

Okay I will save my Hoser "eh" thing for tomorrow.

Going out into my beautiful backyard..and play with my Penny.

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