Wednesday, May 17, 2006

the government gave me a cold

I just made the government happy, I did our census poll on the internet. It was painless. I wonder what would happen if you lie. How would they know? I was tempted. I made my fingers tell the truth, but I so wanted to bullshit them, and tell them it was nonnaoftheirbidness..ahha.. BUT, we have had repeated warning in the media..if we don't send the sucker in, we will loose $38,000.00/per household funding from the Federal government, to our Provincial coffers. So, I filed it. I really wanted someone to fill in that pot-hole on our street; in couple more days we would be eating Chinese in's like THAT deep.

Another stinking cold. Whaaaaat is up with this again. Ten years, cold free, I get this shit again. Yesterday, I bought a huge bottle of "Buckley's Mixture." It tastes like shit, but man, after a generous tablespoon of that potion, you can feel all your organs warming up..and talking to each other. Hey, you..."Liver"..did you feel that?..yup..what about you "kidney"?...nope, it's not here yet, giver time. Hey, lungs, is it helping any with the cough?...I believe so, but your cough is in your upper respiratory system.. I'm only the back up. Okay...Upper respiratory system, any change?...hey dude.. that was some good drugs! Gimmmee another tablespoon of the Buckley's, and you should be able to cough out a piece of phelem that would break a window. Try it!!

By the way..nose.. are you enjoying the cold? Well, Joan it's a little rough in here, I wish you would keep your fingers to yourself...if you know what I mean. The constant blowing and picking, has put my passages in some disarray, with a little help from our friend Buckley, we might be able overcome this. Eyes..."how're you doin?.. a little tearing, and some aversion to bright lights. But, other than that, it's good. Last night I thought I saw God..or was that Gord? Whatever, I likes them both.

My lower regions, don't seem to be affected by it. My muffin isn't coughing, so that's a blessing. You don't want to give her a cold, cause it's embarrassing in public. With all the shaking and stuff.

So, I'm off to drink a tablespoon of the stuff before I goes to bed. It looks and smells like donkey piss, but a good nights rest is worth a little piddle taste.


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