Thursday, June 08, 2006

Gimme a tylenol

I’m bending down on one knee and have my arm resting on it with my middle finger pointed upwards. It's a stricking pose. I would have another finger up my arse if I could reach's been that kinda day my friends.

This has been a day from the movie “Blazing Saddles”…tonight was a shit show, to quote Ms. SK. All we needed was to sit by an open fire eating beans, and farting our faces off. An explosion would have been welcomed, to deflect the the stress.

I came home from work, started dinner. Okay, if you need to know what I made, it was spaghetti with a twist..hehe you know me, I twist every friggin thing I can get me hands on. After I finished twisting the spaghetti, I took Penny out in the back yard for play time. Well, two minutes into that, she twisted (see what happens around here) her leg!! And was hobbling along. So, I picked her up and brought her up to the deck and started CPR. Where upon she started running around like a fool, and her leg didn’t appear to hurt anymore. Just then, Gord get’s home, and he is still hobbling along with his broken knee. I get the dog calmed down and give her supper, and treats. Then, Gord goes to the can, as he always does the minute he enters our domain. I don’t what it is about our house that makes him want to take a shit, but it’s like clockwork.

So, I thought I had everything under control. The dog was fed, played with for a short, time, and her leg was healed. Here is my small window of time to write a blog.

Not so. I saw a car pull up on the driveway, and I yelled to Gord in the crapper…”are you expecting anyone?” …

Gord: What?
Joan: Are your expecting anyone, I saw a car pull up in the driveway.
Gord: Yeah…some guy is supposed to come over tonight to look at the Bronco (my old truck that we have for sale)
Joan: Well, he’s here now!
Gord: #$%^%$... I can’t even wipe my ass around this place.
Joan: Take your time, I don’t want to see any brown spots in your shorts come wash day.
Gord: Go out and tell him I’m coming.
Joan: I'm running down the stairs….greeting potential Bronco buyer, and tells him that the owner is just now wiping his ass, as will be with him shortly. The dog with the lame paw, now has made a remarkable recovery, and it trying to butt the Bronco buyer through the window. Evenually she knocks herself out, and all is quite.
Gord: Finishes his business, finally!! He goes out and meets the guy.

Phewwww. I fed the fish, and sat down in front of the computer to start my blog. Opp’s the phone is ringing.

I get up, and it’s my “hippychick” girlfriend who I haven’t seen in a few weeks and we start to chat. I should say, tried to chat. The dog has made a recovery and is still butting her head on the window because this stranger was in our driveway, and while I am on the phone with my friend I was yelling at her. We managed about 5 minutes of conversation and then Gord’s Cell phone started to ring on the counter………fortheloveofmymother….what now!!! I got off the phone with her and it was someone who wanted to buy the property we have for sale where we were once going to build our dream house on. His name was X Yu. What a funny name. Gord came in and got the call. I couldn’t get passed his name. Did his parents name all their children a letter of the alphabet, if so, he must of had two more siblings Y & Z. Y Yu, (ha ha) and Z Yu. God, I hope his brother F Yu changes his name.

THEN, I sat down to do my blog......and guess what...blogger was down.

I shit on you blogger. I shit on this entire day.

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