Friday, January 05, 2007

Au Contrare Januar

Au Contrare Januar. It's a good thing I am fluent in French or I would be second guessing my spelling...yeah like you believe that pile of horseradish.

I no likey you Januar' ... take a leak someplace else. I want now my Februar'..so I can get on with spring. You remember in October when I was madly in love with winter, well stuff that! I just wanted to make winter templates, it had nothing to do with the weather. There you got it folks, I am a phoney balonie!

You knew that.

You are my conscience.

But, I will probably tell you another little white lie, when it suits me. Because, that is what I do best, along with burying my head in the sand when it is convenient. I've been digging this hole for sometime now, and I can't get to China, I always end up right back where I started. Funny that. Right back where I started oy!

...........

Speaking of cookies. Do you know how many of our neighbours and friends gave us cookies this yule tide season? I love all my neighbours. Let's not get that wrong, but we seem to be their drop off centre for old cookies. Dear friends and neighbours, try to make your Christmas cookies in December instead of making them in June and freezing them for the yule tide season. I know you like to get ahead of the game, but comeon!!!... I had to dispose of a few batches, with a few tears, but we couldn't eat them, and now I have to go to your house and return the pretty trays you brought them in ... and be a phoney balonie, and say they were delicious. I hope you didn't see them in the garbage. Please don't torture me again next year. If you like us, just come over with some pretzels.

...and I don't even like cookies. That is the saddest part. I have a hard time eating something that has 2 cups of margarine, 1 cup of sugar, a cup of flour and some rancid nuts in it. Makes my tummy sore.. and my HDL flys sky high.

Now, am I not only a phoney balonie, I am an ungrateful balonie. I'm off to flog myself, because I deserve a licking!!! Someone spank me!! heh

8 comments:

Brenda said...

We'd all have better HDL if we'd just SAY NO TO COOKIES and the neighbors who insist on sharing them with us,,but not fudge (that's just in case my MIL is lurking, I'd die from my annual fudge hunger)

ellen said...

MARGARINE in cookies?!?!? What kind of sacrilege is that?

Special K said...

After the bloaty carb-fest that was December, I'm now behaving myself somewhat, but let me tell you: if you lived next door to me, I would probably be rifling through your trash to find the cookays, margarine or no.

Tanzee the Ghetto Mamma said...

here here Special K...
here here...

Tanzee the illiterate Ghetto Mamma said...

or is it 'hear'......

AndiePandie said...

This is why this year I decided I'm not baking anymore for anyone. No one seems to want the stuff, no one says thank you to me, and no one must have ate anything because no one told me my stuff was good. I'm slightly cranky about that actually.

Michelle said...

On Saturday it rained for a short spell here. Well not rain like you get up north but a fine drizzle which splatters little drops of water all over the place. And you want to know something? I was longing for winter and wearing thick woolly socks and cuddling under cozy blankets and slopping around the house in beeg comfy sweat pants. We'll be swapping weather soon.

Save the stale cookies for Spring with the birds come back into your garden.

Joan said...

Brenda...I'm going to start a campaign...that says..JUST SAY NO TO COOKIES. But I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings. So maybe I won't.

....

Ellen... some may have had butter in them I don't know, but the sheer volume was a little more than I was comfortable with. People mean well.


SK..The garbage can is behind the fence to your right.

Tanzee...it's hear. Unless you want to know where the cookies are, they are "here"...behind the fence to your right... heh

Andie...I know, it's hard cooking for other folks. And homemade stuff comes from the heart which makes them a good gift for those who appreciate them. I'm talking 5 platters here girl, so I was getting a case of the guilts, we can't possibly eat all that. I still have at least 25 cookies sitting in a tupperware container on the counter. I will bring them to work tomorrow, maybe the guys will eat them. I feel bad.

Michelle...with all the climate changes you could be wearing a parka soon. Holler if you want one, I got plenty.

I would feed the birds with the left over cookies,but my neighbour might recognize them. And she is not someone I would like to piss off!!