Wednesday, January 10, 2007

We lived to see the morrow

And now we are dampened with humidity due to our new humidifier. I tried to light a fire with two twigs in the living room, and as hard as I rubbed them together, no fire they would make. So, I guess the danger has passed, and we will now be damp for the rest of the year. It kind of puts a "damper" on things, because, now..what will I bitch about?

...ewww my skin is dry
...my nose is stuffed up
...everything "sparks" when I touch it
...we have no mould, I need mould... could you put in a humidifier?
...my hairs are standing straight up on top of my haid and sparking
...all my clothes are clinging to me, and showing off my raisin sharp figure
...my wine is drying out
...the dog has dand"ruff"
...my eyes are dry
...I make roast beef and it comes out as beef jerky

I had major concerns, and now THAT we have the state of the art humidifier, I have more concerns:

...what if it gets too wet in here?
...what if we get mould?
...I feel damp in the mornings
...I miss sparking
...My eyes feel damp, my eyelashes are sticking to my cheeks for god's sake
...The dog feels clammy and stinks
...all my clothes feel wet
...my hair is flat
...my nose is too runny
...my wine tastes too moist
...I really enjoyed that beef jerky we had last week..now we can't have that anymore!

Fortheloveofhumidity...how does he think my friend Zelda Rottencrotch happened on to her malaise...dampness I say! Dampness. Just ask anyone who lives in a castle. Case closed.

Would you want to be my life partner? I don't think so. Lets just wait till he puts in the air purifier.

I'm sticking to my chair already, I swear.. and I smell mould.. I need a shrink! But if you look at it logically, a "shrink" would only be a guy who did not have a humdifier!!

The next thing he will be installing in our house will be a "balonie be gone"...so he can get a little peace and quite. No more drama. No more bitching. I plan to leave tapes of my whining before I die, just so he knows how to do it right.

balonie...over and out.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

So glad you are not toasted...I am still laughing!!!!
Lu

JimBob said...

I miss sparking too! Err - that's the ESDS type! ;-) ;-)

ellen said...

Aint it the truth: When a Canadian woman shocks herself on a switchplate, she complains...and when her hair droops due to dampness....what else...she complains.

Special K said...

"Dand'ruff'". There should be laws against such punning.

Andie Pandie said...

The only time I ever used a humidifier was when I was wee and sick. It for sure always made me breath better.

I was too young to know about damp hair and rottencrotch though. Ewwww

brenda said...

Can the amount of moisture be adjusted? I carry dryer sheets and Static Guard around with me this time of the year.

Joan said...

Lu...I'm not toasted...yet!

Jimbob..I miss sparking too..damn

Ellen..that would be me...Gord just can't enough of my complaining.

..

SK..Law's are made to broken and I'm kinda glad I broke that one. the punnier the funnier I always says.

Andie...Zelda was my imaginary friend, so I made her gross..

Brenda..yup..Gord just installed the humidistat last night, so it won't be running all the time. BUT, I did not check how high he put it. Good question, I will run down to the basement to check it, because he always thinks...more is better. gaaaaaaa