Friday, January 26, 2007

Thank the Lord it's Friday

Never in my life I have wanted this day so bad.

I won't talk about my swelled sinuses..because I told you to take me off your fav's list if I do. I won't talk about that extra hole in my head I didn't know was there. The one where you blow your nose and air come right out your ear. Would that be a ear fart? I belong in the circus for the loveofmike.

"Step right up folks" and see the little lady in the baggy sweat pants blow smoke out of her ear! ..better than up my ass as I usually do.

Today, I figured out a remedy for the illness I can't talk about in case you take me off your fav list. I just made a new batch of wine, and decided to put an additive in it. Cherry flavoured "Benylin cough and cold medication." This way I can still enjoy my nip after work, without the hacking cough, sinus congestion, and get a little buzz from the alchohol. Just enough to put me in a good frame of mind, and I don't get to hemmorage through my ears! It's a situation. But then again, I don't want to talk about it.

I was looking at the bottle of Benylin today that was sitting on my very outdated ghetto bathroom counter. And wondered.. "why would they spell it B.E.N.Y.L.I.N.?"
Did Beny and Lin invent it in their basement? Maybe I had a teaspoon too many by this time, but it was making me wonder. Couldn't they just have named it "Bennys"..this shit will make you high and you will never sleep or cough again! AHA..they try to fool us .. the unwary public. Yes, the more I drink this stuff the smarter I seem to get. But, I don't want to talk about that anymore.

Or...Beny and Lin could be like most parents who like to put names to their kids and add a "Y." If my mom would have had kids now, my name would have been Jyoan. Gord's mom would have named him Gyordon. Think it about if folks...Byrenda, Kyaterina, MyaryLou, Syally, Eyllen, Cyutis, Phyliss (you lucked out babe) JymBob, Gytetto mama, Mychielle and Nyeil. It blows my mind!! And my name would be Bylonie..for God's sake. However, give great credit to Lin of Benylin...she did not use a "Y" in her name. It could have been called Benylyn.

So, I have given you something to ponder upon this weekend. I know that you all consider me a mentor, and someone you look up to for guidance, advice and little known facts that I make up. Why do women who have nice little cuddly babies put a "Y" in their names? "Y"... I guess they just wanna be different, yet they are all the same...

Over and out
Bylonie...sinking this ship!


Brenda said...

I was going to say I didn't have the ly going on in my family,,but then I thought about it and I do (hangs head in shame).

Happy Friday Miz Joan, I sure hope that old man cold lets loose of you soon but if he don't, we'll still hang with you!

JimBob said...

Unnnhh - Miz Jyoan pyerhaps yyou shyouldn't myx wyine wyith yyour cyold myedcine!


Michelle said...

LOL - You need a gold star for being so witty whilst being so sick. My ex-hubby of 3 centuries ago used to drink Benylin instead of taking a teaspoon or two simply because it made him high. Now all cough medicine is packed behind the counter and when you buy it, your name is recorded into a register. Same goes for all painkillers. The pharmacist is then able to monitor how much medication you take. I like your new wine - must try that sometime too. LOL.

ellen said...

Wow, that Benylin is some psychedelic stuff.

Andie Pandie said...

I dunno but my mom's the same way. After 30 fucking years she still tries to spell my name "Andy" instead of "Andie".

Hello?! Mom, I'm a chick. Get a clue. thanxloveme.