Never in my life I have wanted this day so bad.
I won't talk about my swelled sinuses..because I told you to take me off your fav's list if I do. I won't talk about that extra hole in my head I didn't know was there. The one where you blow your nose and air come right out your ear. Would that be a ear fart? I belong in the circus for the loveofmike.
"Step right up folks" and see the little lady in the baggy sweat pants blow smoke out of her ear! ..better than up my ass as I usually do.
Today, I figured out a remedy for the illness I can't talk about in case you take me off your fav list. I just made a new batch of wine, and decided to put an additive in it. Cherry flavoured "Benylin cough and cold medication." This way I can still enjoy my nip after work, without the hacking cough, sinus congestion, and get a little buzz from the alchohol. Just enough to put me in a good frame of mind, and I don't get to hemmorage through my ears! It's a win..win situation. But then again, I don't want to talk about it.
I was looking at the bottle of Benylin today that was sitting on my very outdated ghetto bathroom counter. And wondered.. "why would they spell it B.E.N.Y.L.I.N.?"
Did Beny and Lin invent it in their basement? Maybe I had a teaspoon too many by this time, but it was making me wonder. Couldn't they just have named it "Bennys"..this shit will make you high and you will never sleep or cough again! AHA..they try to fool us .. the unwary public. Yes, the more I drink this stuff the smarter I seem to get. But, I don't want to talk about that anymore.
Or...Beny and Lin could be like most parents who like to put names to their kids and add a "Y." If my mom would have had kids now, my name would have been Jyoan. Gord's mom would have named him Gyordon. Think it about if folks...Byrenda, Kyaterina, MyaryLou, Syally, Eyllen, Cyutis, Phyliss (you lucked out babe) JymBob, Gytetto mama, Mychielle and Nyeil. It blows my mind!! And my name would be Bylonie..for God's sake. However, give great credit to Lin of Benylin...she did not use a "Y" in her name. It could have been called Benylyn.
So, I have given you something to ponder upon this weekend. I know that you all consider me a mentor, and someone you look up to for guidance, advice and little known facts that I make up. Why do women who have nice little cuddly babies put a "Y" in their names? "Y"... I guess they just wanna be different, yet they are all the same...
Over and out
Bylonie...sinking this ship!