Thursday, December 13, 2007

I started this blog on Monday WYSIWYG..its stupid and I'm tired

We are just coming down from the latest blizzard today.......again. It has been non stop for three weeks in a row. Isn't it technically still Fall? Well Fall fell on it's ASS.

Fall fell 0n it's ass
And it's been a little shitty
So now it's time
To put on the mitties....

How much lamer could I have made that..... give me a minute...

Old man winter is going down to 38 below tonight. And guess who doesn't have a plug for her block heater. Moi~~ Plow Boy, in all his wisdom jammed the cord in the equipment he needed to put the snow blade on underneath the bumper. I...know ... it makes no sense...but there it is in black and white. I said it. Just to tell you how unbelievably dysfunctional we (he)'s always something, or have I said that before. And now I can't even put my baby in the garage to keep her warm.

We have a two car garage. Got it so far? Okay. Thanks for that. The stinking Lincoln has priority in the garage, because she is old, and HE doesn't want her to get all frosty and shit.

We had some work done in the garage this week ...think back to spring...when our basement flooded....the water was coming in from the side of the garage that meets the house. This is where Stinky Lincoln lives and she had to get out. We parked her on the side of our driveway. I will call it her "Naughty Spot." She pissed me off so many times this summer, and if it were up to me, she would winter there. I know she was pissed at me as much as I was at her when she refused to use her brakes just to scare the crap out of me. She wanted to be in garage all snuggled in. Bitch. To fricking bad she played me one too many times this summer.

Opps I just felt another poem coming on

Stinking Lincoln

I know you think you are a looker

But when I drove you

I felt like a hooker

Anywho, she is still out in her "Naughty spot"... and my truck in is her place...haaaaa. And she is covered with snow ..OUTSIDE... I want to see who is going to win this one.

You may have noticed I said we had a two car garage. Not if you are married to someone who fills up the other side with ...ummm used appliances. Don't ask.

Just a note, to anyone who has problems like I do with "glare." My eyes are so sensitive to some lights, and especially the white lights on the Christmas tree I bought this year. Today, I found a dimmer switch for Christmas tree lights at Canadian Tire...score! ahhhh the tree looks so lovely to me now. I can look at it, and it's very pretty.

I was going to make a fire in the fireplace today, but after doing 2 hours of Christmas shopping after work, I plumb forgot to buy a phoney balonie log. We have to get this sucker converted to gas, I hate those stinky waxy logs. At this point an Electric Fireplace insert would be just fine with me. Years ago we burned real wood, but as we grew older...(do you actually grow) when you get older? hmmm. Just thinking out loud..(or would that be thinking out typing)? hmmm once again. Who knew I was a thinker. Nobody, that's who!!

Opps I just felt another poem coming on:

There once was a girl named balonie

Who never had a thought in her head

And when she was asked to explain herself

This is what she said.

This Christmas I asked Santa to bring me

A basket full of brains

Because my old one's were getting weary

Instead he brought me a train.

I think Santa stinks.

Yours truly,


and if you have read this far...I really feel sorry taking up your valuable time


Dorie said...

I looked at the weather map for Winnepeg and golly, you have to get tough or die to live up there! Here I am whining because it's about 28 degrees here with 50 mph wind and that's bikini weather compared to your neighborhood!

Brenda said...

I'm never, ever, bored when I come to visit your blog. Excellent poetry!

We got down to the 20's last night, frosted a few punkins, but it's supposed to be around 50 today so I ain't bitching yet.

Bobbie said...

You're quite the poet!! Reading your blog always makes me chuckle.

Take care and have a great day.

JUST A MOM said...

Hey can we trade places for a week do keep warm ...

Mary Lou said...

Now you are Celsius huh? Got down to 32 F here last night. TONS of rain, no snow!

Anonymous Mom said...

hope you have a great holiday joan!

Susan said...

What a creative mind to come up with all these little funny poems. Thanks for the chuckles, I really needed that today. I had bad news about my neices cancer. She has another tumor on her lung.! Damn.
Your tree looks so pretty, and the ornements are great.