There are no words it's October 9th.

I'm thinking this is a little hick up. I like how the flash got the snowflakes...they were huge..but not really that round.

Don't Boy Scout the Balonie

Two kids came to the door tonight and asked it they could rake our leaves.

How did they know, we (Gord) was about to turn 65 this year? Are people in the cul-de-sac messing with our heads? Sending little kids to help the elderly?

What's next? Bringing walkers to our door? Making casseroles? Offering to go shopping for us? Port a Potties in the front yard in case we don't make it in the house and shit ourselves?

I was a little skeptical. So, I asked them why they were doing this. Because .. nobody does anything for nothing these days. They said "we just wanted to help around the neighbourhood." Yeah rite.... I slammed the door in their cute little faces. Because only 1 percent of the leaves have dropped...and you will never see them again when it's all down...little do-gooders liars!!

Well, I didn't really slam the door in their faces, I told them to come back in three weeks and see how much they like us then. As it is now, there is only about one rake full of leaves that have dropped..and they are all gung ho! Because there is sweet shit all to do! But, I have to give it to them for trying to look good. Sly little stinkers.

You know I love my dear husband...who by the way is totally unaware of technology..eg computers etc. He loves them as long as I do all the work, other than that...he still lives in a world without them.

This afternoon when we met for lunch at home we were watching some crap on TV and someone was secreting video taping someone else.... and he pipes up....oh yeah..."that guy will probably put that on face tube". Well I just about spewed my sandwich all over the table. Then I fell off my chair and started rolling on the floor laughing.. FACE TUBE...too frigging funny.

I'm still have little laughs coming up my belly when I think of it.

I guess he knows the lingo....but certainly does not have the concept.

I'm still laughing...and at his expense...sorry hon. YOU OLD FART.

I went to 20 (count them) 20 show homes and damn near got trampled by assholes that were kicking tires.. okay I was kicking them a little bit too, but at least I have a reason. If I like a home, I may get the builder to build mine. Most of them were looking for decorating ideas for their reno's. Well fart.And they took their kids with them. There was sign up in each home that said..Children must the accompanied by a parent..in hand. That...did not happen. Those frickin rug rats were sitting in closests, in bathtubs, and one was even trying to get into a fridge. Oy.

Anyway, it was hard. I was disapointed...because they didn't look like homes. Some looked like warehouses, minimalistic style and grey..others were cheap looking, and most of them said the same thing....BORING. Let's beige and brown you to death...and make it look cold and uninviting as possible. I love beige's and browns and they can be very warm and comforting if used properly..especially with rust, green etc. but the was a shit show I tell ya.And every home was about 2 inches from the other. You could spit in the next door neighbours window if he had it open. But that wasn't my problem, we already have the land, but I can't understand why anyone would buy these homes. I was flabergasted. No character at all.

I walked in the cold all afternoon with my poor foot that is giving me some grief. I limped along for most of the day. I have to mention that all these houses are split levels (like the one I am trying to flee from) apparently it has come back into style. Only because if you build UP...it's cheaper. Plus your lot size in these communities are the size of an ant hill. That didn't happen in the house we live in now, because we have a huge lot but I guess it was the style in the 80's. And I thought it was cute when I was 40 and stupid. Okay? so shut up.

Okay, what I am trying to say in a long round about way, is that I fell down the stairs in one of these humongous homes. In front of a lot on monkey's.They make you take off your shoes when you enter. Hey, I'm all for that. I had my slip on sandals on...with socks because I knew I would have to take off my shoes. I must have climbed 3,567 sets of stairs this afternoon because hey ...it's cheaper building up. OMG these houses are tall, and in every level is another set of stairs. And in some, you can go around and they have another set of stairs going back down to the same level, but at different locations in the house. It's stairy I tell you!

By house number 10 I was getting a little weary and my foot was hurting. And as I was going down a set of stairs to the landing of a house I tripped and started to fall...I grabbed on to the wall because there was no railing..then started my descent. When an angel appeared at the bottom of the staircase and grabbed me before I fell on my big fat face. She was a real angel. I thanked her so much, because I think I would have broken my leg if she wouldn't have been there to break my fall.I think all of this happened because I was not being honest. I was trying to take pic's of the interior of the homes, when the sign said I should NOT. A rule in some houses, and not in others...so I just took the flash off my camera...and clicked away when the Realtor wasn't looking. BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO ASSHOLES WHO DO NOT OBEY THE LAW.

Their asses get kicked down a flight of stairs. That's what.

But I don't think I have learned my lesson...because I'm going to do it again, only this time I will look for the Realtor first (and usually he is in the Show Home office eating donuts) and then snap away.

This is the pic I took by accident while I was trying to hide my camera as I was falling down a set of stairs.. I am such a fuckhead.

<

Going grocery shopping ..want to come along?

My GPS unit fell off the dashboard as I got in the truck. So I threw it on the seat. How will I ever find my way to Safeway now?

I drove to the top of the street, and found a large gaggle of geese, defecating in our park. I love nothing more that taking Penny for a walk and stepping in green shit. So I shot them. Now we will have a gaggle of goose for Christmas dinner said Tiny Tim.

Then I went to Safeway, which includes all sorts of other stores beside it. My favorite is Giant Tiger, you can get FRESH MEAT there.... at everyday low prices. One moment you are trying on a pair and jeans, and the next moment you could be caressing a pork roast. One stop shopping here. I love this place.

So I parked my truck in between the two stores. Got out and kicked the tires, and made sure I knew where I parked it. Made my mental note. Which by the way, is useless.

I checked out the bread section....not much left on a late Saturday afternoon... so I kicked in the display. Damn them. All I wanted was some fresh bread that did look and taste like ass.

As I was leaving I took another picture, and one of the employees came up to me and said "why you taking picatures"....I said "for my blog"...he said "for your bwolg?." Yes, new immigrant, for my bwolg. He said "no picatures"... I said ..why not, because it's only 5:00PM on a Saturday night and you don't have any bread worth eating in your cases? He told me to get out, so I shot him.

Sitting on the parking lot waiting for the cops to come. I guess I just must of just winged him.

All I really wanted to buy was some corn. There was a tent set up in the parking lot with fresh corn. They are farmers and don't take visa. I didn't have a buck in my pocket. So I went to the ATM machine. I drove up to my bank.

And this is the message I got. Needless to say by this time my patience had worn thin, so I shot a hole right in the center of the monitor. No guilt... I had already shot wildlife, and the guy at Safeway...but this really set me off, so I blew up my Credit Union. Bastards. I'm a working girl, I don't have time to piss around with shit! So, no corn money for me.


Then I headed to Super Store. I knew they had corn...not fresh, but corn none the less. Apparently when you buy corn at Superstore, they allow you to shuck it. There was about 50 people feeling the corn. Touching it and spitting on it, and peeling it. GROSS. No corn for me.

So I lit a small fire by the door just in case the cops were looking for a shooter.

I had another place in mind that sold corn. A little shop just a few miles from my house, that actually takes plastic.

So I took to the open road like Thelma without Louise. I cranked that Explorer up to 50 clicks! Just in case I had cops on my ass.

I passed a cement bear, I could have sworn I saw him raise his paw and go "rock on you rebel." And he gave me the paw peace sign. But it was hard to tell at 50 clicks.

I got to the intersection, had a smoke, calmed down and tried to put my GPS system back on the dashboard. It has this little sucky cup that holds it on the window, but it just kept on falling down, so I threw it out the window. I had run out of bullets so I couldn't shoot it. I just wanted corn. No not porn...corn. sweet corn.on.the.cob. The real stuff.

I ended up here at Crampton's a little overpriced farmer's marketplace. They had lots of corn, and they took mastercard as well!! They had corn that hadn't been shucked and they had corn that had been shucked in plastic bags. There wasn't 5000 people touching it either which made me happy. I opted out for 4 cobs of peaches and cream corn already shucked in a nice clean plastic bag. I did this only because I was getting short of time and didn't want to come home and shuck the fucking corn!

They have a lot of local produce. So I bought a bunch of stuff that will probably rot in my crisper. My intentions are always good, but sometimes I don't always follow through.




.

They had some cute pumpkins. I was going to buy a few for target practice the next time I buy some more bullets. But, time was marching on and I had to get home. After all Saturday night is "Attitude Adjustment Hour Nite"...and I had people coming over who needed their heads adjusted. Wine usually helps, but sometimes you have manually twist their heads back into shape for the coming week. So, I had to be prepared for that.



Then I found a dog. I named her Elizabeth. She watched me put my corn in my truck. We did a few window kisses and off I went.

I started the trek home. Passed a Driving range. There was about 100 people hitting golf balls that were going nofuckingwhere. Excuse me, but I don't get that sport. So I put my Explorer in over drive and spun gravel in their faces. Get a life.

Going home. It was a very foggy today. So a lot of the pictures are blah...and also I was taking some of them when I was driving, drinking, on the cell phone, and smoking. That make for a blurry picture.

I took the scenic way home. There are no geese in this pond, because they are all in my freezer.

This is another pond, right close to our house. As you can see it is gated, because it is a maximum holding facility for bad geese. We open it up in fall so they can fly South...so youse Americans can deal with their issues.

Looks like the Warden just let them out. They should be flying over your house in about a day or so. I think they are gay geese, but that is just a rumour I overheard in the cul-de-sac.

Down the home stretch. Coming home with my corn. The neighbours have a lot of crap on the curb today. The City: said this weekend will be two days where you can put all your junk on the curb and give it away. That junk was there yesterday and it's still there today. I don't think the plan worked. People like to pay a little and haggle...they don' t understand free.

I'm home with my loot. It's still very foggy. But the sun in coming out.

It sure doesn't look like a lot of stuff for all the time it took me to get it. But of course there was all the shooting.

I guess I forgot all my" green" freaking friendly bags at home. Yes, here they are at the front door like usual.

Here is the stuff from Crampton's ..CORN!...cukes, fresh bread, tomatoes, carrots and a jar of overpriced pickles.

Stuff I bought at Safeway and Super Store.

Here is the grocery list I left at home.

Sonofabitch...I forgot the dirt. (soil) like for planting all those I shot today.

We had the corn last night, and it was worth all the mayhem. Sweet juicy and smackdabdelcious.

Friday night musings

First of all I would like to say... I had one fuck of a internet day.

I was having issues with all the new and improved phones, photocopy machines/fax/scan to email/and network etcfk! at work.

Did you know, I repeat did you know..that once you have committed all your office equipment to be Internet based...you are screwed up the ying yang.

I didn't have a phone today
I didn't have any internet access on my computer today
I couldn't print anything on the printer...because it's part of the interfuckingnet photocopy machine from hell.
And it screwed up our network, and nobody could get on my computer...ha and ha.

I sat there going...okay I can do some filing. I could not do one thing that didn't need either emailing, printing or something on our server. ha and ha again.

It brought our office to a halt.

I personally think it was all you guys farting around on face book, or bloggers doing their thing, who took the breath out of my internet. I'm looking at all of you.. because it was hell.

No phone, no internet, no copier, no email, no nadda....damit to hell. I was flabbergasted, I had to use the fax machine, which is still not connected to the photocopier (but will be next week) it was my only way communicating to the real world. So if everything goes down again after the fax machine is incorporated with the photocopier/slash everything else... I may as well go home and put on a Joe Cocker album and call it a day.

Remember when faxing was the cats ass. Communication at it's best. Now it's your last resort.
Opp's remember telex? No, you aren't that old.

Gord and I are just going out on the back deck to enjoy a very warm evening. I got some candles going because it's already dark, and I will make a pizza and we can have it outside. It's a beautiful fall night.

I have to get past that last post...pushing it down

Geez, I was in sad state of affairs yesterday...good grief! What came over me?

Let's get a little more cheery...okay?

A bizillion geese just flew over my house. Is it fall already? I guess that is why my deck is full of goose poop.

I got pinned yesterday, and a man helped me out.

I was in Super Store and for some reason I thought I could bring up my cart beside the check stand and slip through it to the other side to pay for my groceries. I couldn't...I was pinned between the other check stand and this one. I tucked in my belly as far as you can tuck -a- belly and I was stuck. Like a pig. I gestured to the cashier, and when she finally saw me waving frantically, she said I will try to get someone from customer service to free you. Holy shit. I was stuck and it hurt. The kind man behind me suggested he might try to move the cart backwards. But I was stuck pretty tight, and every time he moved the cart I yelped like a puppy. Finally he did a little jiggle thing .... and I was free.

How frickin stupid was that?

How embarrassing? Very. Customer service had already been summoned with the "Grocery JAWS OF LIFE." which consisted of one very tired looking Manager with "whatthellnow" look written all over his face. But, by that time I had been freed.

Let Freedom ring.

I paid, and collected my groceries with shame.

All the people in the store were looking at me, and silently saying to themselves..there goes that lady who got stuck between two check stands. What is wrong with her?

My ribs really hurt this morning from all the tugging.

Just another life lesson.

Don't try to put the cart before the horse.

So here we are ten years later

I forgot the date today although I have been thinking about it all week.

I had so much on my mind today.

Pick up milk
Get some bookwork done
Clean up the house

How could I have forgot you?

I almost forgot you died 10 years ago today. My Mother.

As I was coming home from running my errands it struck me like lightning.

I had to pull over.

I could not believe I had gone through the entire day without remembering.

I sat on the side of the road for a bit.

I cried. Only in disbelief that I had almost forgotten.

I pulled myself together.

I found a little store that sold flowers.

I put them in my truck and began the familiar journey as I do every time on this day.

I love the windy little road that takes me to the cemetery. As usual I take that walk from the road to where mom and dad reside now. Always thinking about how it will look from the last time I saw it...and am never disappointed because it's always the same. Which brings me so much comfort.

I came with only one beautiful tri colored Dahlia in hand. Dahlia's were always her favorite flower.

I sat down, in front of Mom and Dad's headstone
And suddenly the tears I could never shed after she died.
Came tumbling down.
Hard, fast and hot.

They burned my face.

I wasn't prepared for this kind emotion today. Or ever I guess. I just couldn't believe it was ten years since I had last seen her and 14 since I had seen my daddy.

I didn't have a Kleenex with with me and I was blowing my nose in the sleeve of sweat shit all the way home. I had red streaks on my face when I came home...those were some hot tears.

Phew...that shit takes a lot out off you. As much as you try not to think of it.

I had a good talk with both of them. Kind of one sided, but a talk anyway.

I'm hoping the next time I go there I don't melt into a pile of crap like this time ...geez I have my hard ass rep to keep up.

Just talking through my ass again.back at work

I'm back in prison. My inmates seemed to be happy to see me. It wasn't there for than two minutes before I had the whole gang asking questions, giving me grief...while the phone started to ring and ring. Yeah, welcome back joanie balonie.

I patted all the little apprentices on the head, (they are my little puppies) scratched the backs of their ears and sent them on there way. Fly, my little one's I shouted as I gave them their work orders.... or somebody did, I don't think it was me. I was trying to find all my stuff on my desk.

Stapler - gone
Metal ruler - gone
Pens - all gone
Stamps - hidden away...because if not..would be gone.
Computer - someone changed my settings from FireFox to explorer..bastards.
Peppermints - still there..because I hid them
Box of crackers - still in the box, I guess nobody likes my crackers.
Photo copier/email scanner/fax machine/printer...gone WTF!

Okay, now it wasn't funny anymore. But we had been looking for a new machine because our older one was in the shop, and apparently it was toast. And a new one we had been looking at had been ordered. BUT NOT FROM THE SAME COMPANY. So, the loaner we got from the old company while ours was being fixed, came and took it away. But now we had nothing left in the office but a old HP printer, which is on it's last legs. You literally have to "beg" it to print. The old lady has her good days and her ..not so good days. We didn't even have a fax machine, but we begged one from one of our guys, so at least we were in contact with the outside world.

It's amazing the technology you get used to. We used to do everything by fax in the old days. Now I had to tell our head office to FAX (yes the old fashioned way) all the stuff they used to email me with. Because the HP (Hilda Pooper) printer was taking a royal dump. Thank god for that old fax machine one of guys brought in.. Tomorrow we should be back up and running with the FASTEST, MOST ECONOMICAL, and wonderful machine that was ever invented.

I read the brochure.. it will push 1000 copies out of it's ass in 10 seconds. It will do everything you could ever wish for in 5 seconds. It will take you out for lunch if you press the right button. This machine will even wipe your ass if you tell it to. What more can a girl wish for?

I will be talking to the rep's when they bring in "smarty pants" tomorrow. If it's all it's supposed to be...who needs me? I will just go back on vacation.

So, yeah I came back to a little bittie bunch of shittie. But, you know it was like coming home again. I sort of missed those assholes. I have to admit I was a little out of sorts on my vacation, I didn't know what to do next. I'm not used to having free time and the structure I am used to.

I don't know how I can ever retire. I will be 65 next year...I know... it's crazy. I just can't sit and knit. I will probably keep on working as long as they will have me..or until I start bringing a shopping cart to work and "gathering" stuff. Singing my happy song.

Just another stage of life I guess.

I hurt one of my paws

It's my back paw. Ouch.

I have been doing so much walking this week that my flat feet farted. It's that little piece between your big toe and the ball of your foot that hurts ..like friggin hell. Metatarsal? whatever. I used to get this when I wore high heels to work ...like back in the dark ages! I'ts put a "cramp" in all the stuff I wanted to do on my brief holiday.

Our painter: Lord, he is a nice guy, but he broke Penny's doggie ramp coming up the back stairs to the house. He has been painting the outside of the house for about a week. On Monday, I told Gord that Penny's ramp looked like it was caving a bit in the middle, and he said he would screw it down on the weekend.

On Tuesday, while I was having coffee, reading the paper, and eating bon bon's in the kitchen I heard a huge thump. I ran outside to see the painter and half the ramp down on the patio. Fortunately it broke a few steps up or he would have fell a few feet. I never even imagined he would go up that ramp, it's so narrow, and obviously not meant for people.

After some discussion, he has been using it for sometime....therefore the bow I noticed in the ramp. ahhhhhhh The timing couldn't have been worse because Penny injured her leg last Thursday, and I was counting on the ramp for her to get in and out of the house...to do da bidness.. Gord didn't have time to fix it for two days, and I had to haul the dog up and down the stairs ..for TWO friggin days.

Penny had no idea that she was walking on three legs, once she down in the lawn, it was all about play time, she just couldn't figure out why all the attention and NO playtime. Reigning her in was the terrible. She ran on three legs! I think she is pretty well normal now....after giving her the old med's she used to take for her arthritis. I think I may drop a little of that in my cheerio's tomorrow... and howl and the moon.

So, the dog and I are pretty well at a even keel. We both have our back paws splayed out and are resting.

Technology:

I bought a new phone. I really love it. We had a corded phone in our kitchen forever. You know the kind (off white) .. high up on the wall, with a cord that was stretched out like an old ladies vagina....yeah that kind. In the past years I have bought so many cordless phones, that never worked. So, I just gave up and used the old lady. But then she passed away. Someone pulled that cord a little too tight and she gave up the fight.

I had a problem with the new phone placements etc, and you know I just solved it in my head by writing this and trying to explain it. You don't want to know how easy that was. Nevermind. I would have been embar(assed). Ass being the operative word here. I was going to ask your opinion. phew... sometimes it just takes writing it down to figure shit out.

I could tell that I was wiped out this week. I needed some time off. I didn't get up before 11:00 AM everyday until Thursday. When I woke up that morning I finally felt refreshed and didn't feel the need to curl up and let the morning slide by. And this morning I was up at 9:00 AM again. I have three more days off..... plus another week at Christmas.

Best part of being at home:

This morning as I was having my coffee outside on the deck, I noticed a little activity in the bushes on the left side of the fence. There is a "cat walk" so to speak all around our property and the neighbours. It's a walkway for anything with 4 feet...except my painter. I'm surprised he didn't try it.

First of all I thought it was cat walking the runway...then I noticed another cat..then another...OMG three raccoons following each other on the fence. They stopped when they saw the neighbour working next door....and they dropped down into my garden. I ran into the house and got my camera.... they scoured around my garden for a bit...and then Penny started to bark, and they went back up the fence. I keep Penny in after that...and watched them. They came up the fence and were back on the cat walk. They saw me with my camera on the deck, but didn't seem to be very concerned, as they ambled down the walk. I took a picture...andforfucksake...the very first time I have a picture of interest to take....my freaking card was full. I just about shit myself.

But I will never forget those three masked little faces looking at me and slowly moving on.

What else am I missing here in the mornings?

You ain't seen nothing yet

I have only been on "holiday" for one day....and everything went to shit. I was hoping for no interruptions ... just a peaceful transition from the work place to the home place.

My first wish came true, it rained this morning. My wish to was to lay in bed and hear the rain, and not have to get up and go to work. And do a sleepy slumber. I heard the rain alright, but I did not factor in all the wildlife, who seem to have a flight path over our house. First it was a fucking crow, he was cawing his brains out for about 20 minutes...then a huge gaggle of geese drowned out his asshole caws. When he finally flew off, the squirrels had a stand off right outside our bedroom window. Stupidsquirrel had inadvertently landed on even stupidersquirrels territory. It was game on. They were even climbing up the stucco of the house... racing around like their tails were on FIRE. Right outside my window. The racing part was okay, but the noises they make were unbelievable. And of course, then the dog with three legs wants to be let outside to chase them. Yeah, get a life dog, you ain't going nowhere.

Finally all the ruckus stopped, and the rain started up again.. I looked at my alarm clock which registered 8:30AM (the time I have to be at work) I smiled and pulled the covers over my head and had the best rain snooze ever until 10:00AM.

Note to self: In the new house do not grow a tree beside your bedroom window. Never. Ever.

Did you think that this was the end of it? Wrong. Day 1 one of my holiday consisted of the dog still running around on three legs, Gord coming home and had screwed up his bad knee and his good knee, and I can't walk on my left foot..because the ball of it is inflamed and giving me cramps!

So welcome to my world...senior citizen style. One day someone is going to have come here and get us out of our lovely 4 level split..with a scissor lift.

We are so close to building a bungalow, so...so.. close let's see who wins.

My side bar fell down

And can't get back up. I think I will just leave it there.

I was fudging around with the dimensions of the post area, because it is too darn narrow and it pushed it down. I guess I will have to go back in and re-adjust it again. whenever.........

Wow, the weather is great like summer should be

But for the majority of the day I did sweet "f" all. Oh yeah, I made "half crazy" pickles. We Mennonites have such a way with words don't we. By half crazy, I mean they weren't canned, and only half done. We call that CRAZY. I just boiled up the vinegar, water and salt and added it to jars of sliced up cukes with a bunch of dill and garlic in them. Cool em off, put them in the fridge...and Bob's your uncle. Great for sandwiches. You should probably use them within a few weeks. I didn't have any canning jars, so I used a few old store bought pickle jars I had saved.





I just finished prepping our supper. And other stuff for the rest of the week.


I am sitting on the deck, and it is lovely. Not a breath of wind, which is unusual for these parts. It's kind of hard typing because normally I have my wireless keyboard, b u t...someone forgot it out in the rain last weekend. It went to shit. I'ts more comfortable I can just put in on my lap and sit back on my chair and type. Now I got my friggin nose in the screen.

My brother and SIL showed up last night at Attitude Adjustment hour. Wow, I haven't seen them for so long. It was so good to see them. We caught up on a lot of stuff.

I am nervous....I am grilling steak on the BQ tonight, and I always fuck it up...always. We go in with such high hopes, then after we are finished Gord will say:

Well, it was better than the last one....like come on! I know shit when I eat it. He is way to kind, he is only scared I won't make it again, because he loves steak and I don't, so we don't make it too often. Cooking on the BQ is just my worst fear. I am a pretty good cook, but..take me out my element (the kitchen) all goes to hell.

My poor ole Penny Loafer, she hurt her little hoffie again. Yet she does not give up. Playtime is playtime and wants to hobble after her ball. Of course that didn't happen and she has the most saddest look on her face. I tried to wipe if off, but it just stayed sad looking.

On another note:
I heard a young girls cell phone conversation yesterday that just blew me away. I had to get close to her outside the store just to see the outcome. It was bizarre. I think she was about 17 or 18 years old, and was unlocking her bike getting ready to leave.


At first this what I heard:
ANDREA! you are old enough to get in a bus and find your way home. You have proven to me and the whole family that you are not mature enough to to make any decisions, and the one's you make are always the wrong. Let's go over them! (this is in a parking lot)

A.) (she yelled and A) You are just lazy and using dad to pick you up at the mall whenever you want to. You know he will do anything you want, and you take advantage of him.

B) she yelled and B) I am on my bike and can't pick you up. Don't bother trying to find dad. He has better stuff to do.

AND C) she yelled C) she told her what a lazy brat she was, and needed to grow up. Stuff does not grow on trees, while she sleeps until noon and spends the rest of the day in the mall and expects someone to pick her up.

Then, as she got on her bike and passed me she still had her cell phone in her hand, and I heard:

AND D) she yelled D) If you think mom and dad are going support you through University you are wrong, because you can't even take care of yourself at home. Andrea...you are such a loser....and her rant went on and on and finally as she pedalled away I couldn't hear her anymore.

I just loved her organized thought process. ABCD. 1234 HUP. She can't have much older than her sister, but she sure had her shit together. Andrea will be loser in the family and "bike "girl will probably be a cop. OR an accountant, I'm not sure. She has organizational skills for sure. And nobody has to pick her up, because she has a bike. Maybe a lawyer, I'm not sure.

I am really starting to enjoy facebook. I don't really get it yet, but I like the one on one banter. There is stuff I have to figure out yet.

Year's ago I was always on "chat" and that was in in real time. I don't think I could keep up with that anymore. I just don't have the patience or the time. AOL ..those were good times baby. We were bad dudes.

Just a note to anyone who reads my blog, and you want to come over to facebook and chat, just look me up and I would love to befriend you...or whateverthehelltheycallitoverthere. Some lameass name.

I took me 2 hours to put up two pictures. Ouch.

Hey

So little time, so much to do.

I'm going on holidays next week so I can start to relax. Heaving a sigh of relief. Man I am wiped out.

It's times like this that facebook comes in real handy to still connect with other bloggers.

I cleaned up the back 40 on Sunday, along with my little garden pond and flowers etc. Everything was so over grown because of all the rain this summer. So I snipped them. I snipped them so close to the ground they might never come back up. I was feeling snippy. Then I started to prune the trees, well hells bells, when you do one, ya gotta do em all.

It's starts out as ..okay lets snip this branch, then..umm this branch,.........then it becomes a full blown addiction. You want it all gone! You have a pair of pruners and NEED to cut something really bad. And the more you cut, the more of the sky you can see. And you wonder why in the hell you didn't do this before. But then your old legs give out and start to cramp up after all the gardening crap. And you lay on the lawn like a half dead turkey, waiting for them to go away...whilst the dog is licking your face and has her "Lassie" cell phone in her paw dialing doggie 911.

Once the cramps subsided and I got up and continued my rounds. Then Gord came home for a bit and decided we should shovel a mound of 1000 pounds of gravel we have on the driveway in his little trailer to take back to his shop. Lovely. Some how he always sucks me into his projects when I have my own. So, I got out the shovels. One just missed his head. Oy...men.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but lately...shit.. I just can't get it together.

Hopefully next week I can get my shit together.

I got stuff to say, but not time to say it in.....

Messing with my blog

Be back tomorrow.

I left my wireless keyboard for my laptop out on the deck. And it rained. Now she is pouting. Or dead. I think dead. I hate it when I kill technology, it's just such step backward. Now I have to use the laptop keys...ahhhh which is killing me.


I'm sitting out on the back deck over looking at my lawn, which is..ummm very tall. Our newest lawnmower doesn't work. It blows. It blows all the dirt and grass in your face. So, we are fighting with "Troy"..the lawnmower people. I should check back in my posts to see if I have already addressed this issue. But at the risk of repeating myself ... that mower is fucking nuts. Seriously, I have been mowing the back 40 with a little fucking electric lawnmower.

I can hear Gord coming home from the highway. He is driving his bro's Excalibur. I'ts powerful and loud.

And he just pulled in the driveway. I know the sounds. Just like a dog.

Even when we were dating, he used to come and pick me up with his motorcycle, and after he dropped me off at home and I went into my room, ... and if the wind was from the right direction I could hear his bike going home (4 mile ride) almost half way home.

Just sitting on the deck relaxing....thinking about the good ole days...

But I really need a stun gun for that fucking red squirrel that is absolutely nuts.

Gord just took off all his clothes...oops not all of them ... and came a joined me on the deck.

We are going to have a few drinks and some serious Taco Time.

Penny sends her love.

I think I will regret this post...but..what the hell

Got most of my "at home bookwork" done. Bills are all paid, plus those damn fricking Government taxes forms we have to fill out..one every month and the other every three months. Yikes, I barely have time to make a deposit...in the can that is. Gord does the real deposits at the bank thank goodness. If he sent me there with the cheques and stuff I would probably ask to use the facilities and flush it down.

I just hate reporting the taxes on our invoices. Provincial Sales Tax is due on the 20th. Like I actually have entered anything on the computer by then. And the GST is due every three months, and "like I have actually entered anything by then". I just don't have the time, especially in summer while working full time. There is the yard work, playing golf, tennis, river rafting, jumping on a plane to see a dear friend who is sick, playing with the dog, taking a little vacation to the Black Hills in Minnesota, blogging, facebooking, and finding the time to shave my legs.

I wish.

I have a lot of wishes.

I keep a old chicken "wishbone" in my purse. No, it doesn't stink, I dried it out.

It will one day serve it's purpose. I think it was my lucky chicken.

We shall see.

I was sad to hear today that Ted Kennedy died. As a Canadian you wouldn't think your Government in the US affects us, but it does. Personally, I don't give a shit if you are a Democrat or a Republican...apparently some do, but I don't.

I remember when I was about 18 years old and JFK died. I was devastated, (yes we in Canada were) ...because I thought he was someone who change the world and get things happening. I was working at a sewing factory at that time in my hometown 7 miles from the US border.

Hippy Chick and I were walking the long trek to the factory after coming home for lunch, when a friend picked us up and gave us a ride the rest of the way. When we got in the car, he said he had just heard that JFK had died. We were in shock. We cried. For a President that wasn't our own. A man we saw who would attempt to bring change. A change we wanted in Canada as well. And then the shit happened. Ahh the 60's/70's. And no one got it right after that. In the 70's we in Canada had a man who had somewhat the same vision his name was Pierre Trudeau. He was a Liberal. And he took us, especially young people like we were at the time to listen to him and his ideas. We did and we loved him. We followed him, and he did great things for our country. After he left, it was one boring one after the other. No hope, no getting you pumped up. No vision. I lost any interest in politics. Let all the assholes vote for the dumbnuts.

Presidents and Prime Ministers have to realize you must some how get us to that "happy place" again. A place where we can trust your judgement. And proceed with change.

So comes the end of the Kennedy Requiem.

Not any family is without it's fault's, as it was with the Kennedy's, they were human. The same was with our Prime Minister...lot's of shit went down with his wife. But ..it was what it was.

But we expect our leaders to be perfect. It will never happen.

But I know Ted Kennedy was a real advocate for health care reform in the US. I don't really know about his other causes but this one sticks out in my mind.

I read so many blogs where people can't go to the doctor if they aren't feeling well, because they don't have health insurance...or their insurance won't cover it...or something called co-pay (sorry I don't understand what that is exactly) is too expensive. I'm assuming it's a deductable...God! I just read a blog where a women who needs a hole in her heart fixed, but she can't get it done because she has pre-existing problems with seizures. I cannot imagine this. There is no one left out of our health care system...no one. Even the poorest of them all. We all sit in the same ER room when we are sick and we all get the same treatment
We, never have to worry if we have to sell our house in order to pay the doctors. We can have any illness in the world. We will never have a bill. We all take care of each other. The have and the have nots. It all works out in the end.

So....I know your new President is trying to get this plan going. Give the guy a chance. The peace of mind is so well worth it. Trust me. I just can't imagine having to worry about that. My big worry is going to the doctor in the first place... I have "white coat syndrome"...and it takes a 1/2 ton truck with a rope to drag me there...


I've probably said more that I started out to..... Look what happens when I keep my big trap shut too long.

Howdy

Man it's been awhile. I think the blogger police are going to take my license away. I had every intention of posting a "video" yesterday, and actually made two of them. I made a fool of myself two times and the camera didn't fricking work I was sweating my brains out in that helmet. Plus doing my magic tricks, which involved a lot of running. son.of.a.bitch. And the dog was barking her head off watching me run in and out the front door...doing my magic.

I cannot believe what I do for you.

Today I tried making a short video of the 4,500 weird birds in our trees, and...it worked just fine. I wonder which button I pressed yesterday? Whatever button it was, all that was recorded was some audio, with me swearing and a lot of clicking noises. The screen was black. So, if nothing else, I have had two rehearsals, so now the show should only get better, don't you think? Yeah rite.

SIL Sheila and I went Hippy Chicks house at her farm yesterday. Fortunately we choose the only day it hasn't rained this summer. She made us a nice lunch and then we wandered around her acreage and checked out all her new plants and stuff. We left with a fair amount of veggies.


Zoe...master of her domain.

Nice little whatchamacallit with Ivy growing over it.
She built the deck which is just in front of the gazebo from old wood from some of the out buildings around her farm/acreage. Plus carved out this lovely garden.
Gazebo, that looks out into the fields behind it. Lovely breezes. Fire pit to the right which I didn't get in the picture.
Lovely carriage full of begonias.
Hippychick on the left, making sure we don't take all her veggies. She frisked us before we left.
Yeah, like that would happen, you would need a 5 ton truck for that.
Time to get back in my truck and head back for civilization. Something on the right seems to be very interesting, even the dog is looking at it. I think a deer farted.

Give me a few days to get all my book work done at home, I will try to get back on track. I am so very tired.

My mama said there would be days like this

The rain...she is still relentless. It never freaking stops. But enough about the weather.

Oh, I guess that probably is my life right now. so bye. Okay, you talked me into writing a few more pointless words.

You probably don't want to hear about this spreadsheet I made at work today. It's sheer genius. If I do say so myself. Two other guys were working on it, and I nailed it just before it was time to go home for the day. I actually considered working overtime to work on it some more. I can't wait to go to work tomorrow and show dem young little farts my creation. They love to tease me because ...yes I could be their Grandmother, but sometimes a little life experience goes a long way. Unfortunately these youngsters feel they have to make a "pretty spreadsheet" with way to much crap in it....pretty don't cut it, useless crap doesn't cut it.. JUST THE FACTS ASSHOLES. That is my motto. What is the info we need? and what is the best way to get it without going all "Barbie."

So that's that.

Now what?

I know I haven't done my magic video yet. It's still in the works. If it ever quits raining on Friday night (my video making night) I will do it. My magic doesn't like rain.

I got my first text message on my cell phone on Sunday morning. It said: "hey you know where two can get any green?" Apparently they thought I was a drug dealer. Or they got the wrong number..heh. I couldn't resist texting back: "I have a whole backyard full of"green, come help yourself, just watch out for dog shit. If you feel the need to mow the green I would ever so grateful." ( I made it a little shorter than that, but I think I got the point across). I didn't get a response. I think they probably have changed their number by now. So funny, I bet they have little brown stains in their shorts. I have kept the number, and I think once a week I will text them and ask when they are coming over to mow the "green"... HA

Tomorrow at work, after I have entered all the info in my new spreadsheet, and have received nothing but accolades from my co-workers, I will call it a day and make a new template for blogger.

On another note:
I have been having problems with clearing out my home made wine. Problem is solved. Just put bleach in it. Just kidding.

I finally have solved the problem, but I still don't know why it didn't clear out with the last two batches. I have been online with all the other wino's out there and they couldn't help me. Most of these guys are a little to sophisticated for me, they really are into this stuff. I just want to make some wine that tastes good and doesn't take a year to make. A month is good. Finally I went to the wine store and they told me I had to put in something that's called Sparkleoid.. I really have no idea what it does, but I think it pushes the cloudy parts to the bottom. Then ... all is right with the world. Sparkie did the trick. I now have two vats clear and ready to go. All is well with the world. This should last for quite some time. Like tomorrow....I kid.

If it doesn't rain tomorrow, I will make my magic video. If it does, I will be under my desk sipping wine before it's time.

Summer time...and the living ain't easy..

So much to do, so little time. We went over the plans last night with Hippy Chick and it's looking good. There is still a lot of shit to do. I mean a lot of shit. I have to go over the plans again to make changes, because SIL and I are going out to her farm this weekend and she will need them. But, I can't make up my mind.

I cannot envision? stuff on paper. Truth be told, I feel like puking. I am a visual person, let me see the real shit and I will tell you whether I like it or not. But...drawings are for those that

1. are smarter than me
2. or like to see me puke

I started this with a vision of a country cottage type house. Yes, I have the front porch. That has been decided. But when it comes to the interior, I have chosen the exact opposite. I love clean wide open spaces...lots of windows...and it's contemporary. No fuss no muss. Very uncottage like. I can't seem to help myself. I now have to decide on the fireplace. This could be be what makes the house a cottage. I'm thinking a large Tyndall stone fireplace in the centre of all the windows that are looking out back to the forest.

ahh..halp.

It's still raining, but so what.

We are..finally in the secondary stages of planning our new house. I didn't want to talk about it much because I didn't want to jinx it. Hippy Chick is doing the final drawing of it this weekend, and once we approve it, we can start to get prices and start building in spring. (can't build here in winter) just so's you know. I am very excited. I will have a veranda...or a porch whatever... I always wanted a front porch/veranda. Plus I will have a island kitchen with a family room adjacent to it with a lot of huge windows overlooking a forest. Plus Hippy chick put in an area just off the kitchen for my computer and stuff. I'm a lucky little tramp.

It's going to be one hell of a project, and I am sure tears will be shed, but still...it's exciting.

Gord and I along with some friends are going out to the property in a few weeks and do a ribbon cutting ceremony. I need to find a silver spade to dig that first hole. And by the time we are finished with it I am sure one of us will use that same spade to bury the other. Building is stressful I hear.

But, at least having something to look forward to is a joy.

I am starting a new week with good thoughts. And if shit gets in the way, I still have a spade, even though it's not silver.

Woodstock baby

I checked out a few stores today and couldn't find it.

But, of course in Future Shop the music was so loud, I almost lost my balance. I went in there to look for a MP3 player and to buy the Woodstock DVD set.

Once I regained my balance a lady who was across a narrow isle from me, bent down and knocked me into a glass display of telephones with her big fat ass. She sort of said "excuse me" and kept on digging for some piece of crap on the bottom shelf. I was flapping around trying to get my footing and trying not to pull down the entire display of cordless telephones. She never gave me a second glance.

After I gathered up my dignity I approached an "associate" for the new Woodstock DVD, ...he didn't have a clue, but did direct me to an isle that contained DVD's...yeah I knew where they were, asshole. Anyway, I was in a hurry and I wanted to buy a MP3 player as well. I checked them out... I didn't have a clue what I was looking for. But, I knew I wanted a "touch screen" because I didn't want to fuck around with figuring shit out. Point and go. I picked out the perfect one. It wasn't too expensive, because I don't need anything high end, I just want to record pod casts with it and put some pictures in it. I don't listen to music that much other than on our system at home ...so it was cool.

Of course the guy tells me I need an I Pod...I don't think so. I told him I found the one I am looking for ..right here, ...see...the one in the cheap seats. He frowns at it. And says a number of customers have brought this baby back because the battery power on this model is low...or some dumbfuckingthing. And then he tried to redirect me to a higher end model which is about the size of your fingernail ...I swear that MP3 player was so small I could have fit it up my ass. Sure, if my only objective was to have music blaring out of my butt, that unit would have been my first choice, but as it is I have enough music coming out of it on normal day to day basis. Thank you.

I started to get a little cranky with the little whippersnapper, and redirected HIM back to my original choice. He conceded and said he would go back to the warehouse to see if they had any in stock. Of course, they didn't.. Well, then why in the hell do they have the display model sitting there and mocking me??

I left in a huff.

Then I huffed off to Office Depot, and they had all their MP3 players locked up like Fort Knox, and you couldn't even touch them. They didn't even have a display model, you had to choose from pictures on locked boxes on the shelves. What, are these things made of.... gold?

Good grief, all I want to a simple MP3 player with touch screen. Are you as tired of reading this as I am telling you about it. How can something so simple become so frigging difficult. I guess I will have to buy my DVD set on the internet. I was hoping I could just pop in the store. But...ohhhh no.

My smoke alarm has been going all the live long day. It's been raining and raining and raining, and the humidity is nuts ...and it thinks it is smoke. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but I think smoke and humidity are two different things. If I would have wanted a humidity detector I would have bought one, but as it is I bought a SMOKE detector ...which never goes off even if I burn shit on the stove. Probably if I would have enough moisture in the stuff I am burning, it would catch the steam and start to BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. Oh god that sound is ripping my soul apart today.

I am pissed off at everything. And another thing, I made a batch of wine two weeks ago, and it won't "clear up." It's a bunch of mud. This has never happened before in all my wine making days. So tonight I had to drink Kool Aid. Well it might as well be Kool Aid....somebody gave me this sissy strawberry wine for Christmas. And on a Saturday night, my night to let my hair down! I'm drowning my sorrows with some fresh raspberries I picked from the garden and low fattyass ice cream...yumm.

Have a good weekend.

Can't anything ever go right around here?

No.

It really, really is "always something" and it's pissing me off more than I can say.

Gord is forever stressing over something he has brought about himself, which is making me crazy.

Our phone broke today, and we blamed it on the telephone company. You would have thought the world came to an end...no phone. Ahem...we have two cell phones sitting on the charger.

The dog was mad at me because I wouldn't go out in the backyard for playtime. It was only 5,000 degrees in the shade and the humidity was wavering at 100 percent.

This is what I have to deal with after leaving work, getting some groceries, cooking said groceries. Listening to bullshit, then the phones go dead, and the dog and Gord act like asses and make my life miserable..because life didn't go their way today. Well, welcome to my world.

I think Gord and the dog, might want to give me a little more respect. I feed them, I listen to their sorrows, and sometimes I don't have time or don't want to listen to their bullshit. But I do. Even though I work 5 days a week...any haven't had a holiday in 30 years.

There, I feel better now.

All I have to say, is the dog doesn't know better.

This too shall pass.

Can't anything ever go right around here?

I point is...I have no point

It's hot, and I'm holed up in the house. Me no like the hot weather. It's been cool and wonderful until now. Dammit!

I picked a bowl of raspberries out in the garden and got stung by the first mosquitoes of the year, so yeah, the heat brings those little bastards out.

And I had to water my plants for the first time. Mudder Nature has been doing it up till now, how I miss her.

I made a nice macaroni salad, and a fresh cucumber salad with fresh dill for supper...plus a cold cut sammich on Ciabata bread. Gord just came home, so lets just try it before anyone says it good. hmm.

I left out the eggs in both my salads, because Gord thinks eggs are only for frying. So I put them in my salads only.

Are you yawning yet? I am.

Isn't this exciting? I'm not wearing a lampshade, just my own hair. Borrrrring.

Just a sec, I'm going to go to facebook and steal a pic of my two nieces who I loves to pieces. My niece Lisa was a bridesmaid for her cousin Ashely at her wedding. Lisa is in the middle and Cheri is the one on the right. Doesn't Cheri look like a young Cameron Diaz? I think so. Cheri and Lisa I smootch you guys even if you don't read auntie joanie balonies blog so much anymore. How dare you get lives of your own.!

The girl on the left...I don't know who she is...but I think it is a cousin from there mom's side of the family. She has pretty good rack. Did I just type that? And a tattoo...yikes. What is going on? But ..you know I have thoughts of getting a temporary one....on my forehead that says, "what was I thinking?"


Lisa looks so pretty in her dress. She is the Princess of the family. Now if you could see Cheri's eyes ...they are so amazingly blue/grey she looks like a young Cameron Diaz. Whenever I see a movie with Cameron Diaz I swear she is related to Cheri because she almost sounds like her too.

I started this blog way before supper....and just a note:

Supper tasted like "ass." The only thing that tasted good was the fresh cucumber salad. Just a note to those who are buying low fat cheddar cheese....that shit doesn't melt right. I turns into a piece of orange plastic, and it doesn't taste much better either. Going back to real cheese. Screw that shit.

Now I'm going over to facebook and screw around with some heads over there, I'm done with yours.