Sunday, March 16, 2008

From Dell Hell and Back

My desktop has been so "slow" for over a year, and last week after a Norton Update, we went to "barely breathing." I have been using my laptop for most things, but that was getting old, because I like to sit in my office in front to that big screen I got for Christmas.

I was in Dell hell. I knew I was short of memory, but was in denial. WHAT!!... you need more that 256 Mg's. of ram? ... yeah maybe ten years ago asshole. I bought this one 2-3 years ago, but of course I cheaped out and didn't factor in what is needed to keep these guys fed. Yesterday I went to the little Mom and Pop computer shop in a strip mall down the street, and demanded they feed my Dell a gig of ram. Poor baby, she must have been so hungry, she gulped it down so fast, I had to burp her after that. Anyway.

I had to laugh at the older guy (Pop) who powered her up before she was rammed. He kept on clicking the mouse, and I told him to STOP it, because we would be here all fricking day because it was slow, and the more mouse clicking you do, the longer if takes "old man." So he backed off. Just then two ladies walked into the store, and wouldn't you know it, it was his cousin and her friend. They got to talking and he totally forgot about me. I was watching the progress, and had to remind him that I thought we were finally there. He didn't hear me, I didn't notice the hearing aids in his ears, so I just stood there and listened to them talking about his son's wedding plans in PEI. For those that are hard of hearing it's rough to hear if more than two people are talking at once. So, I coughed really loud... and he heard me and his attention reverted back to my computer. So he powered it back down, and got the stick of ram to put in. Now, powering down takes as long as powering up.......another 30 minutes. So, I got to hear about his whole family, and the cousin actually got me to join in the conversation...and I was like like family. BUT, my eye was on the computer, and old Pop, kept on walking in front of the screen while talking to the cousin... and then backed off ... then in front of it again...then backed off, I felt like a bobble head. So when I knew it was powered down ( I was twitching by this time). I coughed VERY loudly. A loud raspy cough that hearing aids could pick up on. Nothing. He was still walking up and down in front of the screen, so I knew he hadn't heard it.

They were having a family reunion and the cousin was trying to get invited to his son's wedding. He kept on saying it was going to be a small wedding, not wanting to hurt her feelings I think.. and lordyloveaduck by this time I was almost pissing my pants. Finally, I coughed again, but this time I lurched forward, so if he couldn't hear me, he could at least see I was moving. I got his attention. Oh, says he, I guess it's time to put the ram in and see if that makes a difference. It took him two seconds to do that. He powered it back up. And he continued to talk to his cousin and her friend.

I could see the screen, it was in DOS mode asking you to press F1 or something like that to recognize the new ram. He was still talking to the cousins. I finally interrupted him (because my voice was raspy from clearing and coughing) and said you have to press F1 before installation. Fuck this by now. Gee whiz....just give ME that stick of ram and I'll shove it up where the sun don't shine. He pressed F1. And rebooted to see if this would make a difference.

Then he went back to talking to his cousin and her fucking friend. I'm telling you, if my blood pressure wasn't up to 300/250 by this time it would be a miracle. And my throat was raw from coughing for the "hard of hearing."

I stayed the course. I was watching the screen, when I could see it, because he was still moving back and forth talking to the cousin and her fucking friend... it booted up magically within a few minutes with all my stuff on it. So, I knew "I" had taken the right course of action.

The cousin was telling him over and over again that he should retire, but he kept on saying he likes to help his son, who actually runs the shop.

Really, he was a lovely man. But I got caught up in some family dynamics. In fact, that is the way things used to be done in the old days, but these days you just don't expect that in a computer shop. I was the high strung computer junkie...he was calm. I am probably only 5 years younger than him.

I will bring my computer in there again if I need to. He only charged me 70 dollars for the gig stick and the installation.

And no, nobody asked me to the wedding.

My computer now has a new life of it's own. I can't believe I waited so long to do that.

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