Friday, January 20, 2006

Still testing the waters

Where do I start? The winter blues have set in. You could freeze the balls off a brass monkey here in the middle of Canada. I know, I didn't event that stupid phrase, but it's description fits my mood.

Did you know, that you can make musical instruments out of vegetables? I just saw this on TV, so it must be true! You bore a hole through the centre of a carrot, put some little holes on the side and you have got a vegetarians orange flute, that you can eat later. Now, that is recycling!! Just to know that no more carrots will be wasted in our landfill sites, makes me want to go snowboarding. Why do you ask? Because the only hill we have in our city is a old landfill site designated for winter activities. Now, it's an Olympic park, in our fair city. Why, oh, why, were we not chosen for the Winter Olympics? I will tells you why...

Skiing: Which, while being a very good workout is very trying to those poor souls who fly through the air with the greatest of ease in the snow, dodging old sofa's, refrigerators, and maybe even an ole Chevy Hatchback. They have to be on their game to miss all the obstacles, just as those in Lotus Land do, when they are dodging the pine trees. Ours are just a little more interesting, and if you hit an old Chevy Hatchback, you could sue Autopac. It's a win win situation.

It's kinda tough for the newbies, just starting out on their ski's. "Hey, lets go down the bunny hill Billy"....oop's, what was that...well, Billy it looks like someone didn't finish their Kraft Dinner! Just kick er off yer ski's and lets keep on goin.... Billy says, it looks like something else is coming up ahead.. "don't you be worried, swerve to the left's only old late! You gotta love our city officials for at least attempting to give us an illusion of a hill. The tobbogan slide is only for the suicidal. It is pure lump ice. Check you kidneys in at the door folks, or you will never see em again. You see remnants of people all the way down the hill. A hand here, part of a torso there, and a child's teddy bear missing it's's gruesome.

Next week our city will be celebrating the "Festival de Voyageur

This is were all the French citizens come together and eat pea soup and pemmican. As delicious as this sounds, I have not had the notion to try it. Every year they build beautiful ice sculptures, and every year the temperature turns from 40 below to 40 above on the week of the festival. I think God has it out for the French, oui?. This year to only add to their disappointment they have built a huge ice hotel, and a outside ice bar. I don't think I would want to pay 250.00 bucks a night to get dripped on, I can do that at home, in the shower. I saw the ice-bar they built in the paper today, it looks pretty cool, but I was feeling real sorry for the bartender, apparently he tried licking the bar instead of wiping it off. His epidermis of the tongue must be stripped clean.

They are a smart looking bunch, ya think?

I was just wondering, does everyone have a different tongue print? If so, why do we bother with fingerprinting, it would be so much easier to put some ink on your tongue, and imprint it on a piece of paper.....I will have to some research on that. I wish I would quit thinking of all these things, I make so much work for myself, I will never get caught up.

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