Thursday, September 07, 2006

We are "cooking" in the bedroom..

Things are looking up, now that the weather has got a little cooler, it's gettin' hot in the bedroom. Oh yeah! Fortheloveofamicrowave!

We have a microwave oven on our dresser. There is nothing more romantic than the smell of nuked food stuffs in your bedroom.

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He will only be with us for a short time. Our microwave in on the fritz and I needed something, so I found this guy in Gord's shop. I didn't have anyplace to put it in the kitchen, so I set up shop next door, in the bedroom. HA..

It seems "old fart" microwave from the 80's (that is attached to the Jen Air stove) has decided to pack it in.
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She has been giving us a lot of warnings over the years, and telling us...don't by any means cook on the stove top underneath me, because the steam..steams me up!! And my little digital pads are getting geputzed and tired. I can no longer tell you what time of day it is on my clock, I must have something in my eye, because I just keep on blinking. And I think my hearing is going too...when you want to defrost something I think you mean "end cycle" and I just go on to the next one, and then the other one, and then the next one. Who programmed this bitch anyway?

Let's just remember the good times, "like the time you blew up a potato in me"... that was fun! I did my job, and you did yours was a fucking mess! You have never forgotten to pierce a potato since, have you?

I always liked Christmas, when the youngins came over and tried to work me. I know you warned them that I was a little cranky, but they thought they could tame me. It never happened. When I felt a strangers fingers on my pads, I recoiled, shut down, and started to pout, you always knew what was going on when I started to blink, and finally shoed them off, and gently pressed my pads with your loving finger tips. Tell the family I am very sorry I could not heat up the pumped breast milk they put in me, but it just seemed so wrong! I also have to apologize for the time, I got a little cranky, and started up on my own when no buttons were pushed. That was a cruel trick, because then you didn't trust me anymore and were scared to leave me alone in the house in case I decided to "go off" my own.

I know I am in sunset years, my communications systems seem to be overloaded and I am heading for a fall. So, if you get a new one, make sure you remember all the tricks I taught you, "beans explode"...baked potatoes explode if not pierced, buns will turn into a hard rock if you put them in too long, day old pizza will never taste the same, the crust will be soft. My best efforts for you were reheating casseroles, defrosting hamburger, chicken breasts, farmer sausage..I never minded what you did, I loved you, even if some of your food was stinky, and you left crusty old crud on me for weeks. You always knew how I was feeling and adjusted to my needs.

Do you think old microwaves go to rainbow bridge? If you do, I will be there waiting for you when you need to nuke something in heaven. Time won't matter then, and nobody will notice that my clock says 00:00. See ya on the other side kiddo.

yours truly,


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