Thursday, December 01, 2005
I can't do anything right...
Everything I have done this week, I have had to do over three times over. Too much stuff in my head. Even my boss noticed today, and asked me what was up! I have been making mistakes, left and right. I can't seem to concentrate on one given thing. Is there a pill for that? I felt so bad by the time I left work. I was totally second guessing my every move. What have I forgotten? Did I do this, or that? Jiminy Cricket...it's been shitty. I think I am coasting on auto pilot...and need to get back into control. I need some action...not the dirty kind either (well maybe just a smidge).
I think I need a change of scenery, never going on holiday EVER..has been getting to me. Same ole..and here I am 60 years old and never been anywhere, still working for man. Okay, if you count our honeymoon when we went to Florida, or several trips to B.C., that's it!! That's all she wrote. I have a gazillion "air miles"...I could travel for free for a long time, but no time to take off work. BLAHH
Bet you guys thought Balonie was always a happy gal, well not tonight....nope. I need me a big rest. Not a "Dirt Nap"...oh no... that will come too soon, but just some quiet time without anyone bugging me, none of Gord's business worries to worry me...no bookkeeping...no bills to pay...no nuttin...Just me, my dog, and a laptop in a cottage far far away. (internet access would be a must), and lots of noodles, I like noodles. I likes noodling too, but this would be my time alone. Iffin I had a wish list ... I would like to be able to see a mountain in the horizon, or at least a large hill. There would have to be some water, maybe a babbling brook, yes, a babbling bubbling brook. I would want to smell "cedar" in the morning when I wake up. I guess that means I'm going to B.C. or maybe staying in Manitoba and renting a cottage with a cedar closet. Whatever...I could stick my head in a closet just for my well being. Who would see me, just my dog, and she would probably join me with her god damn ball...and make me play with her..again!!...okay, I'm leaving her at home.
I was on such a high this week-end and Monday doing the family newsletter, and now I feel so low. I guess it's ummm the weather..yes, the weather.
I still have to do Brenda's meme...I will do that tomorrow...I'm still a little humour challenged today.
I'm in such a bad mood, so we are having only sammich's for supper...cold sammich's. I might heat up some soup, but I'm not sure. We might eat it cold. I might go outside and strip some bark of the trees for some roughage in our diet..I ran out of bran. At our age you can never have enough rough stuff. he he