Horehounds..what a way to end the month of NaBloPoMo

Have you ever heard of them? My blog friend Ellen has some. I'm not sure if they are candy or just some horny hounds. Okay, I just googled it.. it's candy alright. I didn't think Ellen would be harboring unseemly horemongers. She's not that kinda chick.

"Hard as a rock - texture like a rock. A candy you will absolutely love if you like this flavor". The picture was unclear and I wonder what the flavour is? Hore? or Hound? Her husband Curtis, (as she refers to as her Hillbilly husband)was the one who ordered them online from the USA because ... obviously you can't get horehounds in Canada, we have rules. In America anything goes!! Curtis, enjoy yer Horehounds and maybe if you ever hook up with Gord again, he could use some, let me tell ya.

It's been a crazy month, but I am so glad I participated in it. I actually signed up for something and carried it through. Something I never ever do. Normally I would loose interest half way down the road and say fuck it.

I will go on Mrs. Kennedy's site tomorrow and kiss her bony little ass and let her know she inspired me to write a blog every day for 30 days, even though I know her slogan is "writing well is the best revenge." I didn't manage the "writing well" part but I kicked ass on the NaBloPoMo challenge. I finally followed through on something. I get a gold star and I want a prize!


Okay for all you rookies these are the the answers from last night: thanks for guessing!

"I know nothing!" - Sgt Schultz - Hogan's Heros

"Say goodnite Gracie" - George Burns

"We are two and wild crazy guys" - Steve Martin

"You've got spunk" - Lou Grant - Mary Tyler Moore show

"Schwing" - Wayne and Garth - SNL

"This is the city" - Sgt. Joe Friday - Dragnet.

Pat yerselves on the back if you got it right.


Here are somemore to ponder:

Well, isn't that special?

Who loves you baby?

You Rang?

Sock it to me.

We've got a really big show.

No soup for you.

Mom always like you best.

I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl

Gee, Mrs. Cleaver

Book em Danno

God'll get you for that.

"Jane you ignorant slut"

"Just one more thing"

"yeah, that's the ticket"

If you need any hints just email me and I will try to help.

balonie..over and out..........NaBloPoMo kiss my butt I'm done.

One more day..

And I'm sort of getting the hang of posting every night. It's not that bad unless you are on the other end of the crap. I am a creature of habit, and once I have a habit, it's a lifelong committement. God forbid, I have habitchulized myself again. I made up that word. There are so many things I do out of habit, I don't even realize I am habitized until, I nerviously keep checking my watch for whatever habit needs attending. If I get an hour behind the task I have complete, I get a little cranky.

Like today... I had to go the bank at 4:45 PM to sign my life away..oops I meant to say.. sign some papers. Well, at 4:45 PM I should be in Safeway buying something for supper, because I am not well organized and don't make big shopping trips during the weekend. The thief, geez..(I meant the Bank Manager) took waaaaaaay too long to explain why I needed to sign on the dotted lines. My mind was racing...it was already 4:55 PM and the reason I was there was to sign my name on ONE document and get the hell out of there. I never heard a word she said. Finally she asked me if was in a hurry. What was her first clue? I never sat down, (was it my body language?) .. or the way I kept waving my watch in her face and yelling, "the people at Safeway will be wondering where I am bitch"...let's get on with this."

I signed this, I signed that, and by the time it was almost over with only one more paper to sign, it was 5:10 PM. Gawd!! I was way off my schedule!! THEN, get this, Gord asked a question. The fucking nerve! I thought we were just signing pieces of paper, without asking any questions because we think we know what we are doing. I gave him a look that would have made a semi trailer driver swerve into on coming traffic! Unfortantely for me, he is used to these piercing ugly looks I throw his way, and paid me no mind.

Then he and the manager go into a million logistics why and what and how! So, I picked up my purse and told the both of them, if my signature was not required today, I was out of there. They both stopped talking. Gord starting backing off of his soapbox, and the manager hers. It was very quite. I signed, Gord signed... and I was out of there at 5:35 PM. Nothing could be done without my signature, so why not have a sweet little power trip. And it worked. I was at Safeway at 5:40PM. It is just down the street.

I only got home around 6:00 PM, but that was okay because I was only making soup and sammiches, and Penny's play time was cut off because it was too cold out there for her hoofies. Essentially I made up for all the lost time when I got home. So, I think I am back on schedule. Phewwwww.. It's hard being so anal. I have a big bum hole.

However, I can be spontainious. But make it on a weekend. During the week? yeah, I'm anal as hell. Seriously, I never used to be, but when you get older (yeah I know) and still have to work the hours you did when you were young it's easier with a schedule. Even when I was in my 50's I never had the analnis factor..made that word up too..I'm guessing as you grow older, you need more stability in your life, something you can count on. I used to laugh at my parents who HAD to eat at noon, and have supper at 6:00, and watch Johnny Carson at 10:30. I'm getting there, except for the supper part, we never have supper until 8:00 PM. or later. And that is just only because Gord has always has worked late because he has his own business. That doesn't bother me at all I am so used to it, eating at 6:00 would seem so strange. Habits...like I said.

I was reading the paper today and saw TV Lands 100 best catchphrases.

How about I put a few of them on every time I post and you guess who said it?

I will end my post with it. Some are very obvious, and others, not so.

Guess where these came from:

"I know nothing!"

"Say goodnite Gracie"

"We are two and wild crazy guys"

"You've got spunk"

"Schwing"

"This is the city"

Okay... enough

Snow

It's been a snowy day here in Manitoba.

Penny has been flying in the snow like the wind. When I throw the ball from the deck into the back yard she loves it, especially when it disappears in the snow, and she has to find it. We did this 5765 times and she always brings it back up to the patio door. All this, while I am making supper. Make supper, throw the ball, make supper, throw the ball. Then when the official playtime is scheduled, I put on my big snow boots, my parka, my mitts, my bottle of 90 proof rum, and stumble into the back 40. I threw the ball, taking great care not to spill the rum. She won't play with me?First, she chased a wabbit who was hidding behind our shed..holy cow she can move..but the wabbit was faster than she was. They ran in so many circles I got dizzy. It was so awesome. The rabbit was clearly the winner. After that it was all downhill, her little hoofers were so cold she could hardly move, and she wanted back in. After I let her in, I got some carrots out of the fridge and put them behind the shed...just in case the wabbit comes back, it would have a snack, if for nothing more than entertaining me and my dog.

We didn't have as much snow as expected, so it won't really be a hardship. But Plow Boy is gearing up. Get ready. Because it ain't gonna be pretty.

Just what in the hell is wrong with me?

I had my REAL Christmas template all picked out. Today, when I was going to start working on it, and tweakin it a bit, I couldn't download it! FortheloveofGIjoe. I went to the website and the guy has exceeded his bandwidth. Fart. How dare he? It's almost Christmas man!! I'd like to give him a "boot to the ass" whether he needs it or not, and then hit him with a stick. Maybe I should offer up some cash, but I'm not that desperate. I have a little homemade template in the works, that looks verrry third grade. I need new crayons.

I bought a "blow up Polar Bear" on Saturday. No, I wasn't planning of doing him, I just wanted him for my annual Christmas display on my back deck. (but he could come in handy later). Shit, he was 4 feet tall and had nice cuddly lap. These guys come with a fan to blow them up along with stakes and tethers to hold them down in the snow. Well, my polar bear must have been a "free range" polar bear fresh out of Churchill...he came without any holding down materials.

I took him out on the deck, and tried to sort him out. I noticed the heavy fan part was right on his ass part along with the longest white penis I have ever seen diguised as what would seem to be a cord. I unravilled his peni.. and plugged him in. Fortheloveofgod!! He blew up like a balloon. He startled me. And the dog. And then he started to fly away. Apparently he needed to be tethered. There was not anytime for bonding with (Ed and I) the name I gave him when he was still in the box, and when the wind picked up...so did Ed. But, the good thing was his pee pee was still plugged in. So, I did not loose Ed. Nope. He was trying to do some lift off's, so I starting punching him down..it was just me and the Polar Bear, face to face, woman to bear, I was ...well..bear wrestling. Then I wrastled him to the ground, and gave him the the heimlich manoeuvre and I broke him. Popped his guts. I won.

I'm taking him back to Superstore tomorrow. I hope they can replace him with a bear that has some guts!..and a tether. And his name is Ed. I'm so sorry I had to kill him. But you know how it is out in the wild...kill or be killed. It was dirty job, but I got it done. Man against beast. I am one one brave girl. If I don't win any prizes for blogging every stinking day, I want a prize for bear wrastling. It's not negoiable.

No mo snow...no mo..no mo.

I deleted the snowflakes because they were abotherin' some computers. So, now you can read my shit without a phoney piece of crap falling in on your eyeballs. I haven't finished editing my REAL Christmas blog yet, so be prepared girl scouts!

It's just been a lazy day here at the ranch. It's been snowing off and on all day. I took Penny for a walk this afternoon, without any consequences. Usually she tries to nab a jogger, or nip at an old lady, but today she only tried to rip the leg off a kid. So, things have improved. One step at a time I say. If I can only get her to stop biting the tires of wheel chairs then my job will be done. Any moving object is fair game.

Sunday night supper: borrrrrrrrring

Roasted Yellow chicken (corn fed) as I have been informed
Roasted taters
Carrots
Gravy of course
Dessert: Maple Walnut Ice-cream...yessssssssss

I really have to get my ass going on making some better meals. Guess what I'm making for tomorrow? Chicken sandwiches! And if there is anything left over on Tuesday, I will make Chicken stir fry...and if there is anything left of Wednesday, which probably won't happen ... I will make chickenless spagetti. There ya go. Cuisine for the rich and famous. For some reason I have lost all interest in cooking. Maybe, just maybe, because I have been doing it for 40 fricking years and I'm just sick and tired of it all. I have get my mo jo back. It's seems like I am in a slump. I really would love to make some good old mennonite meals, but most of them are taboo these days with the high fat content. I need me some verenki...

Damn it was close

I almost forgot to post, because I was watching a very interesting CBC documentary. CBC always does that shit the best.

I'm eating a bowl of Maple Walnut Ice-cream!!... I know it's old fart ice-cream, but I love it.

FORTHELOVEOFGOD...I don't have anything else Mrs. Kennedy, look at the drivel you made me post.. and yes I farted two minutes ago, my husband is
snoring so loud I could just take a towel, and put it over his face. So, is this where it's all going? Murder, mayhem all in the name of no ho month.

The fish is in the freezer

Well, I couldn't stand it anymore, the little guy had to meet his maker. If you have ever had a fish tank, you will know that only the strong survive, and they will harrass those that are weak. That happens with humans too. Today, I saw the other fish in the tank constantly picking on him, when he could barely move. It was time for him to go to the freezer. He was in bad shape, and now he will just slowly levitate in a state of freezingness. I got one more fish to go, and that will be it! I will not go to Petland tomorrow and buy him a friend. Come on people..."SAY IT WITH ME"...I WILL NOT GET ANOTHER FISH!!

... he's looking mighty lonely in there all by himself, but then, if he has any fish sense he will know .... more food for me!!

It was certainly easier saying goodbye to this guy than the last two fish that had grown to such mammoth proportions, and could have easily been a nice snack. This guy was only a sardine. But he was my sardine...and I loved him...buh bye little guy..see ya at rainbow bridge. You will know me, I always wear sweat pants and a sweatshirt with a hoodie. I should really get my list together to make sure I can pick all of them up on my way out.

These are the guys I have to pick up: (since 1951) Skipper, Meatzie, Greyone, Sadie, Blacky, Puss, Snowball, Meizermeats, Pywacket, Flower, Pecker, Angel, Munchie, Wiggles, Big one 1, Big one 11, and Sardine. A menagerie of dogs, cats, birds and fish. They all hold a special place in my heart. I will take care of little sardine until he decides to go belly up, but then I will take the tank down. They all lived a very good life, and I was so happy to have them in mine.

Drinking on a budget

Last weekend when I was on holidays I decided to clean out some of the cluttered places of our happy home. The liquor cabinet came to mind. Why? Because there was no.more.room. What you say!!! No more room in the Inn for spirits? How could that happen? I'm here to tell you there are way to many "well meaning" people in this world that want to get you plastered.

I always host the family Christmas parties, so the "well meaners" as I call them bring some spirits to our home as a hostess gift or such. Most have been aging in our liqour cabinet for about 20 years now, and I had to make a move before someone lit a match and we all blew to hell.



Tequila? Do I look Mexican? Why would you bring me a bottle of Mexican hootch? Okay, I know, you are the rich relatives that just got back from Puerta somewhere. Thanks, but Gord likes lite beer, and I like vats of homemade wine.



Ozzo disguised as a Mandolin. Somebody just back from Greece!! Caught you! It must have cost 2 bucks at duty free.



Now, this is cute. Thanks relative! It's nice champagne fit only for the rich and famous. So, we are keeping it until one of them shows up.



Jamacia mon!! How thoughtful. You could have asked us to join you on your holiday. Now you want us to drink this man. I can't drink anything in a container that looks like he would die after I finished the bottle. No, it just doesn't seem right.



Grain Alcohol, more deadly than Bin Laden. We have had this bottle of Everclear in our liqour cabinet for 25 years. As a reminder of what not to do when you are young. You don't want to know...but after two drinks "Bob will more than your uncle." Just kidding, I don't know how we ever got this bottle, but I do remember drinking it when I was just a pup..and talking to the big white phone...never again..Gord was probably trying to get into my pants and he got puked upon.. Lesson learned.


Peach schnapps..harmless, but whoever brought this.. come back and drink it. Maybe I could use it in a recipe. It might be good in a chicken recipe...



Now this was a present from our old auntie Tina..(91 years old) how can you loose with a bottle of Communion wine. I remember that Christmas, and she was in great form, I'm surprised after a few "Baileys," she didn't baptize someone. I just love my (Gord's) auntie Tina. She is such a hoot. I hope I can be like her, should I live that long.

So, anyone wanna come over for a drink? We have a lot of stuff to get rid of.

We will save it for you...

If not I'm thinking of holding a garage liquor sale...1/2 off the normal price which was nothing...so we will owe them.

Hey, I never realized how many Americans like pie, until I read all the blogs today. Ya'll must have some big ole pie holes...

I love pie.

Peace Pilgrims.............

One of my first blogs I did in 2005

Hi, my name is Penny!

I am so happy Joan asked me to fill in for her today. Usually I just watch her blog, but today I'm in the "hot seat."Joan and I met 5 years ago. I was living on the other side of town, with a older lady who took me in after my parents got divorced. She was a very nice person to take me in on such short notice. I loved her grandchildren, we had so much fun together. I was much younger than her, and was full of energy. I was always bugging her to do things with me, but she didn't have the energy to keep up with me. One day, she phoned her son and asked him to come over, she had a decision to make. She asked me to leave the room and closed the door. I heard them talking for a long time, and then they made a few phone calls. After about an hour, they opened the door and called me into the kitchen. I came into the room, not knowing what to expect, and everyone seemed so sad. She came over and gave me a kiss, and said I would have to go with her son to meet some people. Her son was parked outside in the driveway waiting for me while she packed up a few things for me to take on my trip. Before I got into the car, she gave me a big hug, and said she would see me later.

We drove for about 15 minutes, and pulled into the mall. It was very crowded. He said, we would have to go in for awhile to see some people. I was happy enough to do that, because I had been at this particular mall once before and made some good friends at the store we were going to.Once inside, we met a lady, who "the son" had called on the phone. She looked at me, and said she was very glad to meet me, and would we follow her into her office. Once inside, she asked "the son" to sit down, because she had some forms he had to fill out. She asked him a bunch of questions, which he answered while he was filling out the papers. When he was finished, he called me over and told me that I would be staying here until someone younger than his mother could take care of me. He kissed my nose, shook my paw...and left.

I was confused, where was he going? He left me here all alone with a stranger. The lady was very nice to me, she patted my head and told me not to worry, someone would soon come along and adopt me. I had been to Pet Land many times before, and it was the best place in the world, I would get to meet all the dogs in the store, and get a treat before going home.

This time, however, it was different. She took my leash and guided me to my barren kennel. I was told to "stay" there and wait for someone to bring in my belongings and give me fresh water and some food. I began to shiver, this was getting scary.

The kennel had a glass window in front of it and I could see all the people in the store looking at me. I started to cry. In a few minutes another lady came in with my toys and food and water. She tried to get me to play with my toys, but my heart was not in it. All I wanted to do, was to go home! Eventually she left me there alone.

It was so loud in there, dogs were barking in the kennel beside me, birds were chirping, people were laughing and talking loud. I moved to the furthest corner, put my paws over my ears and tried to make it all go away. After an hour or so, the lady came back in my kennel and put my leash back on..YES..."the son" must have come back for me!! Not so. She led me to a veterinary office attached to the building. Here she had a chat with the receptionist, and then I was led into a little room with a table it it. The lady stayed with me while we were waiting for something to happen.

Soon a man came in with a white coat and a big smile. Sooo, he said, this must be Penny. I loved him right away, he tickled my ears, and patted my head in a good way. After a few minutes, he picked me up and put me on the table. He asked the lady a few questions, and then he poked and prodded me for a few minutes, but I didn't mind, because he was paying a lot of attention to me. After, he had finished looking me over, and decided that I might need a needle when looking over my chart. He turned me around and whispered in my ear...don't be afraid...and stuck the needle in my rear end. It didn't really hurt, just startled me for a minute. After that was over, he told the lady that I was ....good to go.The lady led me back out of the office, and back into the kennel. Once again I was left alone with all the noise and people gawking at me through the window. I started to cry again, but this time nobody came. So, I just curled up and tried to shut it out.

Finally all the people went home, and all the lights went out. It got a little quieter, I could still hear dogs growling, cats meowing, and birds chirping. It was a long long night. I finally fell asleep, but woke up in the middle of the night and didn't know where I was...I panicked, but then remembered the events of the day before. I had to go pee, but didn't know where to go. I sniffed around and around, but didn't want to dirty up the floor. Finally I did it in the corner. I felt bad. I drank a little water, and found my toy beside the dog food. Something familiar was good, I picked it up and brought to my corner and tucked it under my chin and fell asleep. I awoke in the morning with a start...people were coming in and checking on me to see if I needed more water and food. I didn't, because I wasn't hungry. More ladies came in later and patted my head and told me ...it would be alright. I sat in my corner all day curled up and didn't look up once at all the people at the window. I just wanted this nightmare to be over.

Later in the day one of the ladies came in and put a leash on me... I thought, please god...let "the son" be picking me up!!! No, it was not "the son". They led me into a little room, where another lady was sitting. She came up to me, then sat on the floor beside me and kissed my head...she tickled my ears...she tickled my belly...she whispered in my ear not to be afraid, because she loved me and I was what she had been looking for. I loved her back right away. She played with me for about an hour, then she told the lady she had to go, but would be back. I didn't understand that part, because when she left they put me back in the the kennel, and I started to cry again. To much happy, sad, happy, sad was wearing me down. I curled back up in corner and ignored everyone again.

But, to my surprise and jubilation, SHE CAME BACK...with a new halter, a bright orange squeekie ball and doggie treats. She put the halter on me, after some struggling, and she filled out some forms for the lady, and we WALKED OUT OF THERE! I was still a little afraid because I didn't really know her, but she put me in her car, and we blew that popcorn stand.Once we got to her house, I was shown a huge backyard.. to die for....and I whizzed all over it for about 10 minutes...I'd been holding it in for a long time. She took me in the house, and I sniffed it out and thought..."hey this looks like a good gig"...lets give it a chance. The only thing she didn't tell me was...that she had not told her husband..(now my dad)...that she was getting a new dog.

The husband and her had lost their beloved dog "Munchie" who was 18 years old, 4 months before. The husband, was still not sure he wanted to commit to another relationship with a dog, after finding out how hard it was saying goodbye to the first one. Sooo..when he got home, he came into the kitchen...stepped back a few feet after seeing me...and said to her...I hope this is the neighbours dog! They talked loud for a few minutes, so I had a feeling this "gig" was coming to an end really quick. I had it in my head...that maybe I should just turn on the charm, because this guy looked like a soft touch. He was sitting at the kitchen table and I "sat pretty" right in front of him with my paws waving....he laughed...YES...he was mine!!!! The rest is history.

-----------------------------

She turned 7 this year, and it only seems like we got her yesterday. She already has some grey hairs on her. We love her so much. And she is smarter than the average bear!! Shit you not!!!

It was pretty weird looking back at the stuff I wrote...way back when I was a newbie.

I know how my blog friend Leslie feels about her cat, and I feel the same way. They complete the family unit, and give you so much love. And Leslie, I hope Bilbo got through everything okay. I could read your angst in your blog entry today. I have been through it four times before, with ailing kitters and dogs. And the saddess thing I have to say now....is my fav fish looks like he's going to rainbow bridge.

He has tried the dardest to remain alive...he doesn't give up!! He looks like he is dead!! And I go in with the fish net to retrieve him, and he bolts!! He has been doing this for a month. I know it's only a matter of time, but holy shit this little guy has balls. I never wanted this fish, my hippychick friend thought it would be fun to give me a Christmas present about 4 years ago, with 2 fish in one of those candle holder thingies... gross.......... I immediately set up a tank. So, I still have them. One is pretty well down, one to go. Guess what I will do?

Get another one to keep the remaining fish company...and the cycle starts over again.

balonie...over and out

Day ..whatever of the blogyourselftodeath

Oh, here I am again. God will this never end. I don't even have time to check out my fav blogs. I have been so busy at work, and that is where I normally do that. So, if you thunk the balonie forsaked you..no so.. I will be back.

When I did my family blog on Sunday, I put up some of my pic's where I cartooned (in a sense) my frustration with the process of putting down patio blocks. I also added some of my laptops cartoons. You all have probably seen this.

I got some good feed back from my nephew and niece in Great Slave Lake. They said their son Jeremy who is three years old, cannot get enough of it. He wants to see Auntie laying on the ground, crawling to the pond for a drink, then grow a pumpkin head and sit at the patio table having a beverage, then get hit by a ladder, and then get hung and eaten by her dog, over and over. I think I am in the wrong business! Kid's love this shit, and it's my life!! I need to write a kid's book. How hard could it be?

Pigs are us

I was so discomboobulated yesterday, I forgot to tell you about my Sunday Night Supper:

I called it "Dining with Swine."

A Hefty pork loin roast...roasted to perfection, along with pan taters
Homemade apple sauce
Mixed veggies (beans, carrots and corn)
Swine gravy
Fresh rolls (around our bellys)
Dessert: Swine ... opps I meant a wee glass of "ice wine" It's very sweet, but it put the swine to rest in our tummies.

Then we went to our pig pen and dug a deep muddy hole, and went to sleep.

That's what pigs do.

I haven't heard any feedback from my family blog yet. I was a little concerned because sometimes I tend to write like I do here on my private blog. I didn't swear, except maybe I said Arsehole once or twice. But, I think they know me well enough to know..that I just say what is on my mind at the moment. Mind you, I had to censor myself several times. The best part was when my nieces Cheri and Lisa sent in their email, just as I was about to publish the blog. Everyone knew the deadline, but you know kid's...and they pushed it to the last minute!! I was so happy just to have someone of my side of the family to give some feedback. My two fav little arseholes!!!

I love them to pieces, they are a mirror image of me, with their flagrant sense of humour. (and no we don't look alike). When my bro and I were young, we always went a little outside the box, and loved to laugh. His girls are a very good example of their father, and my family.



Okay, you guys convinced me, I will go into photobucket and get the shot of my two neices on crack.
They love to try to amuse me, now my only wish is they would send me a pic of them when they are trying to be funny. Girls, the nose thing is gettin old!! But it really fits in with my Pig theme today. You are the best!

Hello...me tired.

I almost forgot to post. I have been struggling all day with my yearly family newsletter post. I have a blog for them, but it wouldn't work. It wouldn't show any pics. You don't want to know all the shit I went through to get the blog up. Blogger would not let me post a pic. So I had take ALL the pics I was sent and put them in photobucket, and then put them in one by one in their entry. Along with editing, and my own shit to the newsletter I was starting to puke . Fuck. I sure hope they enjoy my efforts, because if I get any grief, I will give them a boot to the head.

Back to work for me tomorrow, back to normal...and dog won't make sad eyes at me anymore.

Thankyou Jeebus

After panicking all day about my Christmas blog, I realized because I had not totally switched over, I could keep on changing my templates!!! Sometimes I am a slow learner. But of course I will not have haloscan because they only see my blog in beta. They wouldn't let me do anything yesterday.

Not to shabby huh? All Christmasy and stuff. And just tacky enough for my liking. I know I put it up once before as a joke, but this time I am perfectly serious. heh.

So, there you have it!! I'll keep hammering out templates till blogger shuts me down.

You, dear readers will have to put up with blogger comments..sowwy!!!

The AA crowd will be here soon, so I gotta fly. Nothing like seeing old folks streaming in and yakking about their aches and pains...then 1 hour later and two glasses of wine later, doing handstands.

I am so happy I figured it out, actually I had figured it out before, but forgot I figured it out..GO FIGURE! And I think my friends are a little slow on the draw, I got them beat by a mile.

HO HO HO!!

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I'm not really in BETA yet. I have switched over, but have kept my old template. They let you back out if you don't like what you see. Therefore I am not yet kosher. Blogger gives you a choice of templates to choose from. The html code looks very different from the normal ones I am used to. I guess it's just set up differently using widgets or some dang thing.

I cannot use all of the features unless I use one of their templates!! I have tried, believe me. It always refuses the code. The stuff I can use are"label," "reader options," and a neat "spell check." (it highlites your error and you click on it for the right spelling). I have set up a test blog and am testing all the functions,and they are great. You can now put any dang thing in your sidebar with no fuss or muss. Just find a photo and click away, and it's there. Size used to be such an issue for me, and it always threw the template off. Also adding peeps to your list of people you read is a snap.

WARNING... Haloscan has not dealt with Blogger Beta. I switched back to my old template when I discovered that Haloscan would not recognize it. If you go on Haloscan's site there is no mention of any problems, but once you go to the forum it is being discussed with a lot of people. Some guys have a "work around", but I couldn't get them to work. But, of course I'm not the brightest bulb in the bulb factory.

I now can't put up a new template and expect Haloscan to work, or even the new template, because I have made the basic switch. I am still testing it in my laboratory. I am so stupid. So, if I want my long awaited Christmas blog to appear, it may not, nor will haloscan. Anyone out there smarter than me? Okay don't shove, I know you are all trying to get into line.

Are you guys laughing a me? You know how much I like to change my template!! You buggers!! But, once you are totally switched on to Beta, you can change different things in the blogs that they provide. But how much I don't know. I will go and clean up my test blog and give you a gander.

I am only reporting on what I found, and of course I'm no genius, and may be cryin foul for no reason.
SK..shudup!

Dog Face

Don't give me that face!! I have opened and closed the patio door 876 times today, what is it that you want little one? Okay, come on in little critter....oop's did the door close too quickly and catch your godamn tail! Okay that did not happen, but I was "this" close to making it happen. When I'm home all day, I am her bitch, and I have to do what she wants me to, so I went downstairs and brought out the Christmas Reindeer ears and the Santa hat that she so dearly loves to wear.

She finally got off my back... I know she looks so pathetic, like no one loves her and nobody plays with her, and life just totally sucks...she has that face even when she is happy, so don't be worried, this goes on day.after.day.

Went out for lunch with my American friend today...now that is a story for another day...and she was directing traffic in the parking lot...ahem. So, I'm thinking she has a lot more going on than I thought. And she is making plans to come up here again........ call the police.

Hello from beta

Just checking in. Still on holidays. I have been annoying fellow bloggers all day.

Also have been checking out my Christmas blog template and trying to change it to suit me. I won't happen. Nothing makes me happy, I'm such a grinch.

And now that I get to label every blog I write with beta..I will label this as "crap"

Have a good day. yours truly balonie

BETA

I am speaking to you from Blogger Beta. CAN YOU HEAR ME? All of you who still are in the Blogger Old Folks Homes!!

I was warned I may not be able to comment on your blogs, and if I can't I will email you. But until then I will use all the features they have given me. DID YOU HEAR ME?

Lets try a picture shall we.

I went to to get my hair cut today, first I went into the internet to find a reliable look for me. I cut and pasted the hair do on my head. It's not the best look and while doing that it seems worms were coming out of the right side of my face. OR..maybe a microphone, I could have been a news anchor. Katie...look out! BTW, my haircut was not as successful as the picture. But, as they say, hair grows!!

Now that was impressive, I could drag and drop Mr. toliet seat anywhere I wanted him to go. So far, I am impressed. But he does not have a frame around him which I exclaimed about yesterday.

I don't know ....it all seems the same..but then I haven't had the chance to really have a go at it.

Yours truly,

balonie

Let's try one more time: It didn't work..fuckers..

Let's try again... see you soon.............. or not.

Wish me luck

I going over to beta..........buhhhbye

Tomorrow is D Day

I'm going over to the other side. Beta, my friends. I was using it all afternoon on my Test Blog. It's pretty slick. After all the trouble I had last night trying to put up pic's, I said "that is enough." loud enough for all the little ears in China to hear. The new pics are easy to use and can be adjusted to suit your blog. They even have a little border around them, which, by the way, I love! My pic's were all over the map last night, and if there is anything I hate more is a messy looking blog. Yeah, I just said it was "messy"...I did not say cluttered, which I usually manage if I keep a template up long enough. They have a bunch of other stuff too, drag and drop stuff, header changes can be make quickly. Yadda yadda, but I didn't have any problems at all. And I put that sucker through the wringer I tells ya. I will enjoy the font feature, but I don't know if it will override my template font, I didn't try it.

Gotta to give those guys credit for trying to make our blogging experience a little less stressful. While I am changing to beta, I may as well change my template. For two days now, half of what I wrote was not visible to me! Eventually if appeared, but I think it might be a html error in the code. I will just choose a generic one until December. Then I get to put up my Christmas one!! Yahoo... So, I will be sure to save any comments anyone may have sent. Haloscan used to add the comments from previous entries back in the blog, but of late, they have not. I don't like them very much anymore. Yessss, I know it free, and what do I want "my money back?"

The dilemma of last week has been resolved. "D" called on Saturday, and said she had called for her Dr. Appointment in Winnipeg and was hoping for the last weekend in November, but she could not get it. She had to take an opening this Thursday. So, we will only be meeting for lunch. This is good. We can reconnect and actually see if we could make a whole weekend together. She might just hate me. I am annoying. I like everything my way. I am a princess with a pumkin head. Spellcheck asked me if I meant pemmican ..ha...yeah...balonie the buffalo head. I know I should have spelled it correctly.

I am still on holiday, I tried to sleep in this morning....until Gord's cell phone rang 4..count them 4 frickin times around 8:00 AM. For some reason he had his shop phone call forwarded to the cell..(*&$ Are people stupid? He never gets up before 9:00 AM!! After all, he has his own business and does things when it suits him. If that phones rings tomorrow morning, it goes into the pooper!! I will just drop it in the bowl. I swear. I am not a morning person to start off with, and I just want to lay there and watch the clock ... and know, I don't have to get up!!

A day off, and time to take lappy for a spin

I was exhausted after cleaning the house yesterday. I have never in my whole born life seen so much dog hair! I knew it was there for the last two weeks, it was on top of my "to do" list, but it just kept on getting left (unchecked) as there were more pressing things to get done around here. Like, eating, going to work and staring off into space. So, I took a BIG BRUSH to the canine yesterday, and got every hair that seemed loose, off of her. Yes, there was some yelping, but she is a sissy. She looks like she lost 5 pounds! Next week I will have her nails clipped and that should make it 6 pounds. (I would clip her nails, but she is a super beotch and gets all bendy, wiggles, turns upside down then bites and groans until you want to clip her nose!) I don't want to do that because she needs that nose when she is on fart patrol. Therefore I let the professionals get bit. It worth the 13.00 bucks.

So, today was supposed to be a day of relaxation. If you have ever read my blog in fall, you will know it's time for Gord to put his toys to bed, and run them one last time. Once again, we had:

1. A snowblower that we don't even need (remember! we have a snowblade now), running on the driveway.

2.) The stinking Lincoln, running on all 8 cylinders with emissions coming out of it's two tail pipes that would make Arnold S., come running all the way down from California to kill him.

3.) His leaf blower. I can't believe he did.not.gas himself! I finally ran to the back of the garage and opened the side door, it was lethal! But, he only coughs when I smoke.

4.) The motorcycle. Rum Rum Rum...Rum Rum Rum...till I thought I would loose my mind. Then he drove it through the gate into the back yard and parked in our shed. Can you imagine my surprise when I looked out the kitchen window and saw him riding his bike in the backyard!! At least this time he didn't try running over the dog. Not like last year.

5.) After all his babies we safe and sound and their batteries were taken care of, (whatever he does with them). THEN he got in my Explorer, attached the snowblade, and decided to grade our driveway. (we have no snow) people! I ran outside and I expressed my absolute disbelief that he was going to use a snowblade for leveling gravel. My last words were, "if you wreck that thing, don't come crying to me arsehole." He continued on. It was like my words were swept away with the wind.

God, if you are up there, tell him to just to cut it out already!!

So, then we had lunch. No, I did not poison him. The fumes will do that. After he left for the shop, I had the whole afternoon to myself and my new laptop that I haven't had any time to use. I wanted to put all my software on it, and just caress it in general. BUT, first the dang dog wanted to go for a walk! Crikey, can't anyone leave me heck alone! I did that. Came back home. My internet was gone! Poof!Wellfortheloveofpete, can't I catch a break? My new wireless router seemed to be a little cranky all weekend. I was shaking, I was so mad...this is the second router I have installed and I am still having problems!! So, I grabbed him by his two funny looking antenna's, shook him, turned him off, then spit on him. Whoa he seemed to like the rough stuff, I plugged him back in and I was back online. I guess they just have to know "who is the boss."

So, then I decided to take lappy for a spin around the house, after all she doesn't know where I may want to use her. After all it's been a month since I adopted her.

The bathroom: This was a chance for a little R&R and just some you and me time for lappy. So, Lappy, do you like the towels?


The kitchen table: We will spend a lot of time here, so I can keep an eye on the neighbor's and your half sister Penny when she goes out to make her business.


The bedroom: You and I will have cyber sex here, so don't be surprised.


By the fireplace: Don't be all scared if there is a lot of smoke in the house, because sometimes your mom forgets to open the damper.




Then I started back up the stairs and O' Lordy, I'm not as nimble as I once was, sorry Lappy, I'm going to have to get a hard hat for you.


oops I went boom all the way down



Penny was watching all my antics and this is what she thought about it:



You can tell by the bored look on her face, she has no sense of humour. Dink.

I live with two Dinks. I am the only sane person here. Well I'm not really sane, but closer than those two!!