You may, or may not remember a post I put up in spring, about Gord's spring ritual where he gets all our winter gear retired and starts up the summer gear. Well, today it was time to retire the summer gear. He had already retired the riding lawnmower and his old bike a few weeks ago, but wait...we have many many more things to retire for the season. The garage is packed.
Every frickin fall, he has to totally take the garage apart, bit by bit and clean it up. Every liTTle thing...and every liTTle thing..and yet another liTTle thing, until you want to go to heaven for just a few minutes and come back as a skunk, and forage for your food. I'ts that bad.
The annual fall garage bake off ritual starts off like this:
We sit at the kitchen table reading the newspaper and having coffee (we take two different dailys, so there is a lot to read), I speed read, he reads like a 4th grader. Therefore I am in need of reading material before he has finished his, which he is totally hogging. I drum my fingers on the table. He suggests I read the "flyers" that come with the paper on the weekends, I suggest he take a long walk off a short pier. He suggests I do, "you know what." I didn't do that because I just wasn't in the mood. I very much wanted the "Home," section in the Free Press, which he was ever so slowly reading, and this was seriously getting on my nerves. So, I got up threw out the rest of the coffee, because he can't read without his coffee. I'm a mean bitch.
By this time he is totally sick of me and my childish behavior, and got out the door to do his fall ritual. First, he brought out the old stinkin Lincoln, and parked it in the driveway, then the new motorcyle, and then the trailer, the snow blade,..I swear to God the entire driveway was taken up with our vehicles plus all this shit....and he has them all running at the same time...just like he did in spring, but fortunately some of them were already in hiberation. I swear to "the big guy upstairs"...he blew a hole through the ozone layer, so big that it will be snowing in California tomorrow.
shit you not.
As he was puttering around, he had this brain wave...because we have a little water coming into the garage during spring run off, he decided to take 12, yes, count them, 12 old patio blocks we had stored by our fence and drag them into the garage to keep the water off some of his stored prized possessions. Shit, a little water trickles in, not big deal, as far as I am concerned....but NO...he has to put these huge 100 lb. patio blocks in the friggin garage. Another altercation ensued. He won, after I was screaming at the top of my lungs in the front street, WHAT THE FUCK ARE DOING, YOU ARE NOT TWENTY YEARS OLD ANYMORE MR.! ...Lordyme. I don't know how much longer I can keep him alive. I would make a lousy widow. I don't even like taking cruises in the Caribbean.
So, after he altered the ozone layer..Forever. He had to park the Lincoln and his bike, and his snow blade, and his trailer back in the garage. Feng shui. You know, everything in it's place. He has to feel the love of his gas guzzlers in there!
Finally he went away. Back to the shop, probably to create more havoc....
So, now the only thing I have to look forward to is winter...god bless winter. The cold, driving on ice...but I'm looking forward the Christmas, if only to make some silly little animated xmas pic's on the right side of my bloc to drive you crazzzzy..yes crazzzzy I say.
Off, to enjoy my Sunday night pot roast, with spuds, mushroom gravy and green beans. I might even throw in a nice buttered roll, if he is a nice guy tonight..Balonie isn't all that tough and stuff.