Oh so there you are

I have just been hanging around with my favourite friends...








Then I got the challenge from Poolie to put a bucket on my head and take a picture. It really doesn't seem like a grown up thing to do, does it? Is this the legacy we will leave our children ..or nieces and nephews? I pondered upon that for about two seconds and then I grabbed my camera.

I couldn't find a bucket. So, if you have ever watched "Keeping up Appearances" an English Sit Com you will know it is pronounced "Bouquet." I could not find a Bouquet. Hyacinth Bucket (Keeping Up Appearances) So I did the next best thing. I am Hyacinth's Canadian sista. Joanie Balonie Bucket/Bouquet. And I put a bag on my head. Yeah, you figure that one out. I think I must have bought fish that day...oy it was stinky.

Then, I said "what the hay"...why not wear a lamp shade, you wine soaked piece of cake? So I did. I'm not too handy with the camera in the bathroom mirror mind you. But if you look closely I think I look like La Toya Jackson.

On another note, I have a next door neighbour. Yes, she is nice, and yes she is annoying as hell.
We have been neighbours for twenty some years now, and I know her schedule. Every night at exactly 7:15 PM she comes out to her yard and starts puttering around. (she knows I'm up on my deck just after playing with the dog or walking her on her good days) . I can see her working down there. And I know what is to come:

At 7:18 she will siddle up to my side of the fence...here she is



Little miss happy face leaning over the fence. She is retired, and much younger than me, for shit's sake. I just hate people who make good decisions for their retirement.

So, miss happy face starts talking to me on my deck...and half the time I can't hear her, because either the dog is barking or someone is mowing their lawn, but that does not stop her from talking.

Over the years, I have come to know what she is going to say anyway, so I just wing it.

1. She will comment on our raspberry bushes, which have moved from my garden to hers.....so if she points to the right when she is talking, I know she is talking about the raspberries. I respond and say "Wow...it's been a bad year with all the rain, but they are starting to come in now"..then the dog barks...and she is talking again, and I can't hear her. But I smile, and say ..yes!

2. Her next comment will be about some creeping vines she planted right next to our fence..which are coming through to our side. She is so worried the will crowd out my ferns. Every day we talk about this, and every day I can't really hear her concerns from my deck But when she points down from her vantage point I know she is talking about the vines. Sometimes I know she can't hear me especially if the dog is barking at her...and I give her the "forgetabout moves" with my hands. And she laughs...and I laugh... and I hope she goes away. But most times, she does not.

Apparently I have not had the low down on all her Grandchildren, and what all the other neighbours do when I am away at fucking WORK.

I had fun on the deck on Thursday. To the left of our fence...she and her son and law were building a shed on their property. Two of her daughters kids were left alone on their immaculate lawn to play while they were working. There was a gate separating them. They could hear them and were only a few feet away.

It was funny as hell, these kids come from a family of four and roughhouse all the time. Nothing is sacred. Plus they had a new puppy. A lot of running was done, while Grammy and SIL were putting up the shed. Suddenly the oldest ..about 8 years old told her younger bro...about 6...Look!!! Grandma has a pear tree? It took the young one about 2 seconds to climb it and start ripping out the little baby pears. Finally when he couldn't reach them anymore he came down, and his sister started to jump up and grab the branches. They worked those branches, until finally a big one broke. They looked at each other, and they knew..THIS WAS NOT GOOD.

The older girl, told her little bro...."oh man, we have to hide this from grandma" and off they went and put it away back in her yard.

About 10 minutes later, neighbour lady comes into the backyard and sees the carnage...little baby pears everywhere, plus the new puppy was eating them!!!! Both children were sat down by their dad and asked...WHO DID THIS? Fingers pointed from one to the other....And everyone was sad, Daddy wasn't buying it.

When neighbour lady started to talk about this, I told her I saw the whole thing, she got a little defensive, but I couldn't hear her, all I saw was her hands reaching for heaven. I got the picture.

Or maybe she was infected with rabies.

I bow to you my friends.

This last week I have certainly done something...I have told the whole internet I am out of touch. And...just a tad stupid. I finally looked it up tonight. I just didn't get it. And when I found out, I went...ohhhh I was disappointed. I knew it was something to do with yoga, or I thought it did. But nothing made sense. Plus I was still trying to have a little fun. But I really didn't know.

I certainly will have to go downstairs to my little old library, and dig up my old Kahlil Gibran books, and get back my to my inner self. Put the petals back on the rose so to speak.

I was so sure it meant Eff off bitches.... that just sounded so cool and so confident. Now when I read those blogs, I will be a little disappointed, they are wimps!

Yeah I know they are giving the writer a "high five" so to speak, but I just thought there was more balls behind it.

I think I need more time to get rid of my old unwanted hair.

NASTURTIUM...bitches

I still have no idea, even after spelling it wrong, for heavens sake. I thought of making sure I was spelling it right after I wrote the blog, but I was pretty cocky. And look where that got me, with an egg planted squarely in the middle of my big fat face. This is why I don't go to BlogHer. I can't even get the trendy stuff right. I would have been shunned.

Have you ever read a book and read one of the characters names wrongly at the beginning, it sticks with you right to the end of the book, so it is with me and Namaste. God!

Poolie said:
Namaste means.....oh.....should I tell you? I use it frequently (but not in writing). I also use it as a joke. Na-mas-te and na-mas-go. I won't tell you what it means. I think you are having more fun figuring it out.

Namaste, mi amiga!

I think it is Spanish for something.

But I keep on going over it and over it, and all I see from her description is German. Because that is all know.

In German/mennonite Na-mas-te... would sort of translate into ..."Hey..must you?" And na-mas-go, would mean "you must go". Sorry I just don't get it.

When Poolie said, she used the word a lot.. but not in writing, I was considering it meant "Fuck" because she rarely uses that. But, when I sort of translated it into German .."Hey, must you"..and then "you must go", I came up with Fuck off. But I don't think that is what it is. It's probably some Yoga shit everyone is into. But then why does Poolie say she uses it as a joke? Poolie know a lot of stuff, even about a camels toes in your pants. heh

Damn it. I still haven't looked on google, it's killing me man.

Nastame

What does that mean?

I am reading so many blogs and they....the bloggers are using this word. I refuse to google it. I'm sure it just another "new age" expression of some sort.


Some just sign off and say Nastame... and others go..Nastame Bitches! when signing on. I am putting myself in the dark, because sooner or later someone has to give me a hint on their blog to what it means....ya know..so I can relate to what they are talking about before they hit the Nastame button.

Is it a bean?

Does it mean ...hello or goodbye in another language?

Is it a "high five" in Zimbabwe?

I'm trying to figure out the Latin origin.in my head, which is totally useless...but I do remember taking that course in school in the early 1900's.

It's been taking over my life for the past week.

Nast...what is nast? nasty? I'm thinking if you said the word aloud you would say nahhhstame. Nothing is working for me with this word.

The closest I can come up with is Nasturtium, but that's a flower.

Are the bloggers greeting each other with a "flower word" followed with the word "bitches?

The word actually sounds like a power word. You pump your arm up and go....Nastame Bitches! But then when the sign off they say "have a good day"...Nastame. huh?

It's a fucking secret code. And no... I will not google it! But it's making me and my dog very edgy, because I called my dog Nastame today. Who knows, this might be the name of a famous dog. Penny didn't come when I called her Nastame. She took the high road, and gave me a look that said "have another drink you Nastame wine soaked bitch. " So, obviously the word has something to do with either bitches or maybe witches or wine.

NO..I will not look it up.

I'm not any closer to figuring it out then when I started.

Maybe it means "Peace" in another language. I just thought about that. Well if it does...for god's sake just say so...trust the young one's to fuck up all the sayings we had in the 60's., and try to make it their own. But, on the other hand they are not saying "Nastame Out." And I don't think they have flowers eg. Nasturtiums in their hair.

I am still ...so puzzled.

And, don't go and look it up and tell me what it is. I'm going to figure this out by myself.

4 days off..yesssssssss

The rain has been insidious it never stops. Today it rained so hard I couldn't see my way home. I had to stop on the road and let it pass. I don't think I have ever seen weather like this before. I had the heat on this morning in the house, because it was cold, damp and almost freezing. Most mornings when I go to work I have the heater on in my truck. It's so totally wrong. I'm not really a sun lover, I like nothing better than warm weather, overcast and maybe a mild mist. Something you would experience in the mountains. But this shit is obnoxious.

I deluded myself in believing that I would love sleeping in this morning with the pitter patter of rain falling on the roof. It pitter pattered alright...it sounded like freaking golf balls were coming down...so there went my wonderful sleep-in morning.

Got up, scratched my ass, turned on the heat, and the coffee. I thawed up in the shower and then started to make plans for my day off. I took a day of holidays, and it's the long weekend so I'm on a roll.

My list:

Shake my fist at the heavens to stop the rain
Get 2 gigs of ram put in my laptop
Go shopping for groceries
Pick up stuff for Gord at Office Depot and some software for me
Return two shirts I bought 3 weeks ago to Zellers
Clean up our storage room with old business files and shred them
Put all new files in the new wonderful containers I bought last week that are still in the back of the truck
Make a new batch of wine...I'm running on empty here folks
Play with dog (the rain put that on hold) but we did have inside hiding of the ball and running.


This is what got done:

I shook my fist at the heavens and told my old friend God to stop it, but I'm thinking he has kidney problems, because it never stopped. I'm good with that. Even God gets old.

I started out in my truck and got about three blocks before I realized that I HAD NOT taken my lap top with me to get a face lift. I procrastinated for about 5 minutes, thinking, well I can do this tomorrow because I didn't want to go all the way back home...blah blah... I made myself turn around and go and pick it up.

I went to Office Depot and picked up the stuff Gord ordered, and then I went looking for anything I didn't need. Never leave me unattended in a office supply store. Yes, I bought some software I think I need. yeah huh sure.

Went to the computer place, and God dripped all over me. Oy, it was raining so hard, but I dashed in the store with my laptop. It's a good thing I had a hoodie ... yeah I know... I have a hoodie fetish, but it saved my hair and part of the laptop as I dashed in. I took the guy 15 minutes to get 2 gigs of ram in and take 80.00 bucks out of my wallet. Money well spent. I remember the price of ram years ago. It looked so easy and he didn't even charge me for installing it.

I was all set to go to Zellers to take back the shirts, but I felt the need to procrastinate again. The store is about 2 miles away, and it was raining, and I would rather go to the Superstore next door where everything you need from electronics to groceries are UNDER ONE ROOF. I was tired of wiping off my glasses after running in every damn store.

Once there. I was able to relax because I knew this was my last stop. Plus I didn't have to rush because I am on holiday. I bought the premade pizza dough I had been looking at for about a month. I walked slowly around all the isles, just because I could. Normally I am doing a marathon because I don't have time to look at stuff. I bought an air fresher that goes "psst" every 30 minutes and sprays up a refreshing smell, a smell that smells better than my house.

Man, when it gets humid like this, the smell of every animal I have ever had that shit or pissed on the carpet makes itself known no matter how many times you clean the carpet. I guess that goes for people who have kids that barf and shit on them too. I am so glad I don't live in a humid climate. In our next house, it will be hardwood floors. Hey, the little guy just went "psst" again, very cool. It's a really nice mellow smell, chamomile and lavender. Anything strong gives yours truly a huge head ache.

After I finished touching everything in the store...marking my territory so to speak.. I did something I have never had time to do before.

I went to the "self serve checkout." I was feeling "ballsy." Plus I had the time. Normally I just wait in line in the 15 items or less checkout, but today I said what the fuck..what the fuck, yes I said it two times in my head. There was a nice young lady who was overlooking the whole thing, and I asked her to walk me through it because I had never done it before. I never ask for help. But I didn't want to start up on it and look like an asshole.

She walked me through it...and it was so easy. I love scanning stuff! I pressed all the right buttons and got my receipt. I asked the next guy in line if I could scan his stuff because I was right into it. He declined. He said his kids loved doing it. Damn.

I didn't get back in time to do all the other stuff. But, I alway's bite off just a little more than I can chew. But I did have time to load the software I bought. I hope it makes my life easier now that I have a few days to make DVD's.

I did make a pizza. I predict it will taste like shit, but the crust looked so good, I may be wrong. Gord will be home soon ....so who better to poison.? WHAT?...

My ride this summer

It really is..an Excalibur..year 1977. Belongs to my brother in law who doesn't have room in his garage of vintage and new vehicles this year. Poor baby never gets to see the light of day. So we are babysitting it.

Gord took the picture when was humping the bumper. It's apparent I didn't dress well for the occasion. I have my sweats on and my granny slippers. Plus I don't know what's going on with my hair. But the ole girl didn't mind me sitting on her. She's not that young herself. I just realized I called the car a "girl" ...well I guess we have a Lesbian relationship.. we bonded. Both our bumpers met ass on.

This is just what I needed to get myself out of the slump. I'm going to take her out for many a spin this summer. And take pictures.

I'm betting I will make a lot of new friends...only because the car is so unusual ...and I might meet a lot of hot guys....oh shit ..did I say that out loud? I may have to lose the granny slippers, my hoddie and sweat pants.

Note to self: Shave your legs, moustache, pluck the eyebrows, and for god's sake "do something with your hair." And of course, get some clothes that don't make you look like a bag lady.

I will work on it.

That ole car needs me, and I need her. We are going to have some fun.

Monday monday..can't trust that day...

I'm wearing two band aids and I had a pile of dog shit on my rug when I came home from work.

First I cut my finger when I was cleaning out the the blender.... and then I played rough with the dog, who doesn't know my skin is made of parchment. No need going to a blood bank, I lost most of mine in the sink.

Actually, I feel better after a little blood letting. Not that I felt bad before, but I think it took all the bad blood out of me. I might think about getting leaches. And let them suck it all up. I just wish I could have put them in the pile of dog shit and let them suck that up. Phew....poor Penny, I knew I shouldn't have given her roast beef last night.

So, I know it's been awhile, and I was thinking off packing this baby up and waving goodbye. But, some of my good friends talked me out it last night...on face book. I feel bad, I wasn't fishing, I was serious. I don't know ... I have been having a lot of moments lately.

So, here I am again.

Let's see if I can do another year....or a month..whatever.

balonie

It's been a journey

From XP to Vista. At work.

Sorry folks I have not been paying attention to everyone because I spent every minute since Friday dwelling on how to change over my files, etc. from my old computer to the new computer, which happens to be Vista. My computer ..she is the happening place...the mother of our workgroup of four.

So, all the files had to be transferred over...before anyone can work. Easier said than done. It all went to shit. I tried everything... the transfer cables etc...which bombed out just.....just ... before the transfer was complete. The guys in the office kept on insisting this had to work.

So, being an old fashioned do do head, I told the "know it all" guys in the office, "I'm doing it my way." Because we had to start using the computers!

I put a CD in and transferred all the files to them. Many, many CD's and copied them to my new computer. Yeah...I know...stupid, but effective. It worked.

Then we had reprogram the workgroup shit and the printers.........fuck. If I knew it was going to be such a big deal, I would have just kept my old Dell, which was running on empty...and just plugged along at 30 mph. After I took the Dell off my desk, I looked at the back of it...holy shit, it must have a ton of dust on the fan blades...and I can't imagine what the inside of it looks like. No wonder the poor ole girl was chugging. I will clean her up and with a little more ram she will work for someone else that needs a computer in the shop.

But I have a new computer. And I am loving Vista. Everyone told me I would hate it...what? It is great. So far. Knock on wood. Or knock on my head.

Knock Knock. Who's there?... nobody as usual...damn.

My new haircut

I bet you thought I was going to bitch about, but I'm not. It looks a whole lot better than the birds nest I had happening on my head. I'm a wash and wear kinda girl. I don't have time to mess with it. And when it starts messing with me I get troubled.

Troubled.

So, how is everyone?

I had a good weekend. Got all the toilet stains out, plucked out a stray gray hair out of my eyebrow, did the laundry, made the dog play with me, and spent the major part of the afternoon doing bookwork for the business. Made sweet and sour pork tenderloin pieces along with basmati rice and a nice fresh salad. And that's it. Opps..now we are going to have strawberries and ice-cream in a few minutes. Well, not real ice-cream...low fat ice-cream. That ice-cream is so so low in fat...it should be called white ice. But it's not bad considering.

It's still so cold out here you can't really sit out on the deck at night. And winter is just a few months away. It's very weird. My raspberries still haven't ripened. They should have done that three weeks ago! All my flowering plants are staying dormant. They bloom, but they need the heat and the sun because they don't have any vibrant colours they usually have.

Plus we are having another week of rain predicted. Lord, we are drenched.

Off to eat some low fat ice-cream. And go to bed and cuddle up with my two best friends.

I know, I am boring. Yikes I wish I could get a thoughtful sentence out, but it's one of those days again my friends.

I'll be checking in on your blogs next week.

Yesterday we had a dilemma Dumb & Dumber

Just as I was sitting down at the computer, Gord was sitting down at the TV behind me. I had just logged into blogger and thinking, wow I really feel like posting today.

No sooner was I logged on, I heard the words of doom. "How come the BIG TV doesn't have a connection to satellite and the little TV in the kitchen does? Well, I knew it was over right there and then. They are hooked together, they should operate as one. We pulled everything apart, I went down into the basement and fiddlefucked with the cables. We had a few heated moments, because it just didn't make sense that one TV worked and the other one THE BIG ONE...had a pretty little logo dancing around the screen saying "you have no signal."

It was taunting us.

And the TV's were about 10 feet apart, yet in different rooms. The little one is on the counter in my kitchen, and THE BIG ONE is in the TV room adjacent to it. You can't have too many TV's packed in a 3 square foot area. But, they both serve a separate purpose... ah huh. One is for when I cook in the kitchen and the other one is when we go around the corner to another open area room and watch THE BIG TV. Got it? I didn't think so. Nevermind.

We did the old fart thing, changed up all the batteries in the remotes, I went down in the basement and got up on the dryer in the laundry room so I could reach the electrical panel to seek out a problem I had no idea about. Gord, meanwhile was on the floor in the TV room, disconnecting and reconnecting shit he didn't have a clue about. While I was yelling up from downstairs...IS IT ON NOW? ... He would reply WHAT...forfucksakes. TURN THE OTHER TV DOWN SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!

Finally about an hour later, I asked him call his brother who installed the TV. He didn't want to because you, you know...pride. Finally he did. As he was sitting in a little hole behind the TV I handed him his Cell phone and he called his brother. His brother immediately told him his settings on his remote control had been tampered with.

Someone's big ass had sat on the remote and changed it from Video 1 to Video 2...or it could be the other way around I don't know. But hey, we were back in the 20th century.

I pride myself to be computer literate, because I come from and age where most people thought I was nuts. I had a commodore 64 man. And upgraded myself to this point. But holy smokes, give me a TV remote, I am lost. I guess you have to really use stuff like that to know it.

We rarely rent movies, and when we do, awwwwgeez it's always...where is that piece of paper where I wrote the instructions. I know it's so simple...so simple! Yet if you don't do it on a on going basis, you forget.

But I don't think I will forget this. We seriously thought it was a problem will our Bell dish. That is how dumb we are.

I knocked on both of our heads last night...and they seemed to be hollow. Like a over ripe cantaloupe. Past it's prime.

I got a new computer at work today. It's been a very interesting day uploading all my files to the new Vista computer from my old XP. Actually Vista makes it very easy. My old computer is probably still chugging up the files to the new one as we speak. Good grief ..talk about slow. I now have all the new bells and whistles. And yes, I know most people don't like Vista, but I needed a new computer because mine holds all the network files and it was bogged down tighter than a fart.

Now, if I post a blog from work it will be so fast, you might not even be able to see it.

See how that works?

So, if I post and I don't get any comments, I will know that my computer is just to freaking fast.

Yes, I am an asshole. But we all know that.

It's still raining

But I caught a rainbow, before it started up again.

I started a blog a few hours ago, and ditched it...lord I was whining. So a took a few hours off, watched the rain, had a really good supper and did an attitude adjustment. Sometimes I let the small stuff get to me. Then you have to look at the big picture. Which I am doing right now.

Penny is laying at my feet, Gord is snoring in bed, and the rain is falling ever so gently outside. So, whatever my bitches were before seem so insignificant now.

I love the rainy nights. It calms my soul. WHAT... you didn't think I had one? Well I do. You will see me in heaven. I will be the one selling balonie sandwiches at the gate. I got an in with Saint Pete.

Enough of this bullshit....I gotta go to bed ... another storm is coming and I got to get off of here.

Still can't get in the grove

For lack of anything new in my life. I am going to take a page out of Mimi Smartypant's blog to make up for it. She sort of made up a list of stuff she likes and dislikes. Mimi slays me. She has a wicked sense of humour and is a really good writer.


UNSEXY THINGS I MAY HAVE ALLEGEDY SAID DURING SEXY TIMES:

My thumb hurts.

What is the dog doing down there?

Where are you?

I have a cramp in my leg.

Turn off that fucking cel phone!

That's better.


THINGS I WILL ALWAYS WATCH, NO MATTER HOW CHEESY OR POORLY CRAFTED THE MEDIA:

All My Children

Jon & Kate

Friends

Anything on HGTV

American Idol

Two and half men

CNN news

WHAT I SAY TO THE DOG WHEN WE’RE ALL ALONE:

How's my stinkerwinker?

Time for beddieweddie.

Pennypoops here's your kibblewibble.

Let me see your footsie wootsie...while trying to clip her nails and she is trying eat my face!

Give momma a big kiss (while I hold my nose with a clothes pin) her breath smells like pond scum.

Where is: her balls...well not really her own balls because she's a girl..heh...

Where is beigie, where is bluie, where is yellow belly, where is orangie...you see where I'm going here, they are all the same type of ball with a different colour. It's just sick. But she is so smart she will bring any colour you ask her to.

I sing a song ..Penny Penny Bo Penny, Penny....and go right through the whole damn thing. It's very sad. But she loves nothing better than to hear me sing. I can't say that for anyone else.

People, this is my life. Send money.

It rained so hard today...

The cars parked in front of my building at work were flooded.

I took pictures with my cel phone, but I have no idea how to take them off.

Note to self: read the manual.

Sorry for not posting too much anymore, but I'm in a slump. Or a dump?

You choose.

It's summer in the city

I spent a lot of time doing yard work during my brief two day vacation...not counting Canada Day and the weekend. Stat's never count, nor do weekends.

I never lifted my head off my pillow before 11:00 AM all five days. I am new woman! Other than the unfortunate shopping trip where I lost my trousers ... it went well.

The back 40 still looks like a dog's breakfast because it was reseeded and we can't mow it for another week or so. But everything else is coming along. I really resent summer, because you bust your ass trying to get all the crap winter has thrown at it back into shape, and then it's fall? WTF, whose idea of a good time is that? Not mine brother.

I stained my deck, and stained my new picnic table. Gord and I put it together last Sunday. And I am proud to report no one got hit on the head with a 2x4. We acted like adults. I was close to taking him out a few times, but I held my wicked tongue between my clenched teeth, and ran up the stairs to the house for about the 2,345th. time to get a different screwdriver, hammer, measuring tape, a pencil for marking the 2x4 I had being eying up if he was going to give me grief, the table instructions, a cold drink, .... but then I the was the go-fer and he was da man who built it. And he did a good job. No 2x4 for him, this time. He even put the bench seat back a little further than most picnic tables. I hate trying to wiggle into those things. Now we have lots of room. In case I grow. And it is spaced far enough so Penny can jump up on the bench and on to the table. THE TABLE, you say, yes the table..we don't eat on it. Penny loves sitting up there. I put the table out in the garden today, and we can sit there and she has her kibble and snack, playtime and drinks out of the pond when she is thristy. I just love it.

Hey, she's old, I spoil the crap out of her. I'm just thankful she can run around again and have fun. No more pain.

Just a few pic's of the on going struggle. The pond is almost good to go. I will take more of that later.




Notice...I forgot to stain the edge....fart, now I will have to get the paint can back out and the brush...oy so much work of one edge.

This is what I did on my vacation..Day 1

by: Joan Balonie Grade 3

Slept in until 10:30.

Had a shower, made coffee.

The milk I poured in my coffee was "off"..had to use creamer....fucked up my morning.

Had lunch - uneventful. Watched an episode of "All My Children"...Told Erica to kiss my ass, and turned it off.

Went to home Depot to buy stain to paint my deck and new picnic table. AND to buy light bulbs!!

Someone help me out here, I know I don't get out that much, but WHAT IN THE HELL? You can't buy a light bulb anymore. All they had were these energy efficient screwy looking things. Plus some round creepy ugly ones. I bought a whole bunch of my favorite (pastel pink) 60 watt bulbs there sometime this winter....now they were ALL GONE. Where will I get my ambient light bulbs from. I hate nothing more than bright lights. I have dimmer switches in every room in the house. But the problem is with my 4,567 lamps I own. I'm a lamp junkie. And with the price of one of these energy efficient ass hole bulbs I will be out on the street driving my shopping cart full of carpet remnants...blubbering... hip dee dee da huh.

I was really pissed off. So, I went to Canadian Tire, surely they would have a regular light bulb, even if it wasn't a 60 watt Pastel Pink bulb. I found 4-60 watt regular bulbs wayyyyyyyyy down under a bunch of shit on the shelves. I think they were trying to hide them. This was really putting a dark cloud on my holiday I tell ya.

It was getting too late to do any painting, so I just kept on going. Finally I ended up at Zellers and started to look for some clothes.

I didn't have any plans to go clothing shopping today, because if I knew that, I would not have gone into a store dressed like I was. I was dressed to go hardware shopping...not for clothes.

I was wearing an over sized black hoodie sweatshit, blue very light weight sweatpants that have a tie string..not elastic at the waist (wait..that will tie in to another story) blue waffle weave socks and peacock blue lacy looking flat shoes. You see it was cold this morning. Really cold, and I dressed for it, granted, not fashionably, but I didn't factor in the possibility of the sun coming out in the afternoon. And it did, big time.

I had a problem with my pants right off the bat. The tie string kept on getting loose, and I had to keep hiking them up every two minutes. At Home Depot I had to go off to a private corner behind a garden tractor and hike them up, and re-tie the string thing a number of times. When I got to Canadian Tire, I ducked between two plastic plants in the Home Decor section to pull them up. So, when I got to Zellers and was looking at clothes, they started to slide again. I was getting a little irritated by then and just kept on pulling them up discretely..mind you.

Later I was browsing in the garden centre, looking at all the neat patio tables etc. I spied a box with a picnic tent in it, and thought it looked interesting, and tried to take it off the shelf, not realizing it weighed 6,79 pounds. As I pulled on it ..it came down and pushed me backwards, but I caught it before it hit the floor. Well, I didn't really catch it, I sort of wore it because it fell on me. I didn't get hurt, I jumped up quickly, butttttt my pants didn't. This time the tie had come undone all the way...my pants were a loose cannon, there was nothing to hold them up. I grabbed them as fast as I could, fortunately nobody was in that isle, but just as I was tying them back up, I had to adjust my panties that had slide down a notch .. a man walked by me. A MAN. I know he saw me with my hands down my pants. I tried to get away as fast as I could, but he didn't really seem to care what I was doing in my pants, he just wanted to talk about the lousy way Zellers prices their product. We talked for almost 10 minutes and he never even looked at my pants. I guess he had other things on his mind.

It didn't end there...and I swear to you this is a true story..all of it.

I went into the dressing room and tried on some really cute clothes. I was so happy, because they all fit. I started to put everything back on their hangers to take back out, then put my black hoodie on, then put my shoes back on, and started out the door.

What do you think I forgot to put back on? YES, my pants! I had one foot out the door before I realized those fuckers were still sitting in a puddle on the floor. AHHHHH, they are so light it's like not wearing anything at all, and I guess I never missed them. After all they had been sitting half way down my hips the entire day!!

When I came home I threw them in the garbage. No more pyjama type pants for me.

Tomorrow is painting day. Good luck with that ey? I'm going to wear old lady elastic pants.

CANADA DAY ...eve

I have tomorrow off...plus the entire week. I am so relaxed I'm almost falling off my chair. I HAVE 5 DAYS OFF. Tomorrow is July 1st. Canada Day, and I took the rest of the week off.

We are going to build my old fashioned picnic table tomorrow..like the one's you see in the parks. I love them.

I know for certain one of us will get hurt. We don't work well together, but I will try to hold my tongue if it means putting some duct tape over my mouth, because I NEED this table.

I'm looking forward to a great Canada Day. I even have some fireworks... plus a really nice supper planned. Just the two of us..and our Penny.

Movie shoot at our little rental house

It was pretty cool. I don't really know if it's a movie or not. From the website it looks like an interactive ..."who done it." On the internet? I'm not sure.

Anyway, it was kinda thrilling to be out there at 10:00pm watching them shoot at night. Lighting was so important, I had to move my damn truck 5 times. It was too damn shiny.

The Director was very nice and showed us some the tricks they do to make it all seem real. The scene they were going for was a bunch of guys around a fire barrel. We actually have one there, but they brought there own, and it was lit by propane instead of REAL fire. Plus a biker chick was supposed to come up on them in the back lane and cause trouble. We watched them rehearse for about an hour, but then we got tired. I liked the biker chick. She was very cool. She was standing beside me waiting to rehearse while Gord was farting around with the lights behind our building (which is right beside the house)..it's one of those lights that come on automatically when it gets dark. Well, the light didn't work. So, Gord was knocking on the lens....I called over and said "you don't knock on lights" you turn them on, you knock on doors! Biker chick, gave me a HA HA shove, and I almost did a face plant in a puddle of water. She was very pretty and almost 6 feet tall dressed in leathers, so I didn't want to piss her off.

So, all in all it was very interesting. I had my camera with me, but for some reason I had "display" turned off...and I couldn't figure how to fix it in the dark, so I just pointed my camera and shot. And I caught most of it.









This little house on the prairie, might just one day be famous. But I don't think so.

The reason Gord let these guy do the "shoot" was because "Otto" the guy who owned the house before we bought it. We only bought it because we thought sometime down the road we would need it for parking etc. and bulldoze it down. Well, that never happened and we have been renting it out ever since. So, back to Otto. He was a character. He was a cab driver, and loved the movies. Every time a movie shoot came to town, he applied to be an extra. He rubbed shoulders with a lot of movie stars in his time. Winnipeg, has always been considered a great place to shoot, because we have so many historic buildings downtown.

Otto, died last year, so Gord thought it would only be fitting that they did a movie shoot in his old house. He would have been so pleased to have a movie being made in his backyard.

I was going to do a balonie biker video

But it's too dark in my staging area. Thunderstorms have been moving in and out all day, and now there is just the darkness and rain. A very nice calm soothing rain. zzzzzz kind of rain.

I planned the video this afternoon, and wrote a script and everything. It's called Magic meets Fitness. Sounds a little strange I know, but that's the beauty of it. It's bizarre and the ending will freak you out. Everyone will be saying..."how in the hell did she do that?" Even I surprise myself sometimes. I have to figure a way to take the plastic shield thingie off Gord's helmet. I can't ask him, because he would throw a fit if he knew I touched his motorcycle crap. The camera can't pick up too much sound from behind the Hannabal Lecter Mask. Besides, it's a pain in the ass flipping it up to take a drink of wine.

He is such a baby when it comes to his stuff. The next time I do a video, I'm going to wear his leather jacket and his chaps. That would make for a good workout, because they are waaaay too big for me, but let's not dwell on that, let's just think about how all the wrestling around in all that heavy cow skin will improve my cardio workout. It's for a good cause. Then I will put them back neatly in the closet where he stores them, and spit on them. It seems fair, I had the workout and got back at him for being such a baby. I might even put on his revered leather gloves and touch some dog shit out on the back 40, then put them back ..very gently where I found them as well. heh justice will have been served.

I draw the line at wearing his boots. He has smaller feet than I do, and twice as wide. I have some pride! With all that leather I don't want to end up looking like a Clydesdale horse.

Anyway, I'm not going to wear all the shit for the video. Because this time it's all about the magic. Too bad it's so dark, because I'm in the mood to do it right now.

I've had enough fun at his expense. Sorry hon...(you bring the worst out in me:) And yes that goes two ways!

Let's add a little class to this blog

HA...I stole it from another blog, and I can't remember who to thank. But if you see it, let me know.

I just remembered..

Thanks Dorie I owe you one.

Okay...WHO SENT THIS TO ME?

And don't give me the...it wasn't me crybaby answer..whaaa whaaa whaaa, I know it's one of you!

Just a quicky...

It was Hippy Chicks Birthday today, so we all went out for supper...and now I don't have any jam left. I know....I am really getting old fartish. But, it's a week day people!! I have to go to work tomorrow.

Happy Birthday old friend; you always continue to amaze me with your energy and wonderful spirit.

She asked us not to bring any presents, but only a "slip" of a perennial from our gardens, that she could plant in her garden on the farm in our honour. How cool is that?

I brought my favourite plant. It's a prairie grass that has huge tassels on it once it's full grown. I have been looking for this plant for years, and I found it about 3 weeks ago. I bought three of them but only had room for two, so I gave the other one to her. So, it wasn't really a "slip" from a plant I had in my garden, but it surely is my favourite plant. I hope when she see's those big tassels waving in the wind when it's full grown .... it will me be waving back at her.

Happy Birthday Janis!!

I can't even describe

How tired I am.

Between work, housework, and my frigging back yard. I'm done. Done!

I know I bitched about our winters here. But you know?...It was good. Because summer just opens another door of more shit you have to do! Planting a whole bunch of flowers that will be dead in three months is not my idea of a good time. In my case, they will probably be dead tomorrow.

Today, I seriously reached my limit. Yesterday I had a shit pile of stuff to do in the house, it looked like a war zone in here. I didn't even have time to go grocery shopping. Today it was laundry, cleaning up the back 40, because our trees have decided to shed seed in copious amounts, plus branches seem to break off when a little bird sits on them.... or a tiny squirrel runs up a branch. Crack, crack crack...is all I hear all day. God forbid a small wind. Then it's pick up, pick up and pick up branches again. Mother nature, you piss me off. I think they are in menopause, they might need some calcium.

So I had to do the laundry, go to the store and get groceries, plant the rest of the stupid flowers, pick up sticks, and supervise Gord cleaning out the eaves. Remember me telling youse guys we had trees growing out of them!

Well, as usual I am such a worrybitch. When Gord put the ladder up to the house to clean the eaves I became his worst enemy. For some reason when he goes out to do stuff like this ... he puts on a pair of boots that must weight 55 pounds. He can hardly walk....nevermind climb a ladder, but he always wears those stupid boots! He climbs the ladder like the HULK, clunk, clunk, clunk, then slips down a rung, and corrects himself.........oy. I stand on the side and yell up stuff like..be careful, ...and he yells back down...WHAT? I yell again, be careful, and all I can hear is 'Shuthehellup"...you are driving me crazy. ME? But, I don't stop there, I supervised the entire event from below. I know for a fact a few times when he was throwing down wet sloppy leaves they did not land on my head by accident.

Seriously, is summer worth all this crap? Well it was around 9:00 pm when we were sitting on the deck chatting. Penny had her own chair beside us and was a happy little dog. The frogs were croaking in the pond, the weather was warm, and it was just getting dark enough so we couldn't see our ugly back yard. We looked at each other and said ...ain't life grand, and the sky opened up ... and pissed all over our parade. So we took our sorry asses back in and I got on the internet and paid some bills, and he fell asleep in front of the TV. So much for that. It may as well be winter.

I met Eddie on Thursday after 40 years

Lordie, he is a handsome dude. He still has all his hair and everything. Curly gray hair...and he is younger than me. Probably by 4 years and that would make him around 60 now. He was younger and a annoying dick just like my brother, always getting into my business. . So, I guess if you would ask my brother or anyone who pissed me off in those days, they would say, don't mess with her, she will make your life miserable. As older sisters do to their brothers and his stupid friends. This was just such a case. I was always fighting the brat pack...

Eddie wrote me this email in response to mine:
------------------------------------------------------------------
As far as your feet dangling out of a car window....I wish I remembered that. I am sorry though if I caused you any anguish. I really am. I remember you as a Gidget type of girl. Very prissy, always well behaved, well maintained and well dressed. I don't even remember you dating anybody. Maybe you weren't the angel I thought you were...ha! ha! I do remember you telling my dad that you had seen me smoking. When I got home, I opened the back screen door and met his back hand on my face. He warned my never to smoke again while he's puffing on one himself. Go figure. Does this make us even? or am I still in your bad books?

Have a great weekend and I'll try to stop in next week.
--------------------------------------------------------
Look what I did. This guy thought I was a goddess . That is the evil of the Facebook.

He thought I was Gidget? Yes I was Gidget. But not half as nice. I was always chasing after a moon doggie. James Darren...I still heart you.

Eddie was very nice, and a total gentleman. He is working on a job site close to my shop and stopped in on Thursday at my shop.

We had a great talk.. It was a little stilted at first, because what do you say to someone you haven't seen in 40 years?

You know what, would like tell more of the story, but my peepers are going to sleep. The story is just small talk, nothing more. What a nice guy. What good memories.

Yours truly

Gidget

Holy "F" it's Wednesday already

The days turn into weeks, and the weeks turn into shit. And so she goes.

Remember Eddie, the guy from my hometown who found me on facebook?

Well apparently he wasn't the only ass hole. He reminded me of all the shit I did to him.

I guess I forgot that I did get him back, more than once. Yeah, I remember now. God I was an douce bag.

I'll get back to that tomorrow.

My pillow calleth.

Went to a birthday party

He had just turned 100 years old on Wednesday.

Amazing. I started this on Sunday night but was too tired to finish it.

I will post a few pictures later, I am sitting on the deck with my laptop for the first time since last September. It's just beautiful out here. A little messy because all the trees are shedding more little tree seeds for me to kill. It's never ending.

Gord's Uncle Albert turned 100, and we celebrated it in a small town in western Manitoba today. They had a huge turn out and he enjoyed every minute of it. Stories were told, some true, some were tinged with nostalgia more than the truth. I didn't grow up in the community Gord did, so even after being married so long, I am still a bit of an outsider looking in. I know they all ADORE me ...heh..yeah, but it's not like your own family.

I can't believe he still has so many aunt's and uncle's that are still alive...mine are all toast!

We had the best fancy sandwiches, egg, tuna and ham. I love those sammiches. Along with stacks of veggies, and fruit salads. It was like a bridal shower, only better, because the birthday cake was the bomb!! Three kinds. Carrot, Chocolate, and a green one I didn't sample. Just one cake could not hold the candles.

There was an incident.

Yesterday, I went out and bought a new pair of black sandals to wear to the party. They had a heel on them. Mistake number one. I'm used to wearing flat shoes...okay. Then I paired the new sandals up with some "cheaters"....you know those little foot nylons that only come to your knees. They looked really nice with my pants. But, once I slipped on my new Rockport sandals, with the soft slippery sole and leather uppercase... or whathehellever. I felt a little "rocky" when I wore them yesterday for a bit. I was barefoot, so there was no slip sliding going on. This morning, after putting on the cheaters...it was a slippery slope.

Anyway, we sat down at the table.. Gord, myself, his sister Sheila and brother Ron, and I was the last to get up to get some food. Don't you think my left foot snagged the leg of Sheila's chair (she was sitting right beside me)... I knew I was going for a fall...it was like in slow motion...and I was heading right for the "food table." Just before I did a face plant in the fruit salad, I managed to get my right leg stabilized, but my sandal flew off my foot and went spinning in front of my brother in law who watched it twirl around... as he was hanging on to his plate of food, and it finally come to a rest under the table. I had to get down on my hands and knees and get it from under the table...YOU CANNOT TAKE ME ANYWHERE. My ass was hanging out from under a large food table at a respectable Community Centre for the Elderly...

I was so embarrassed. I really was. Here I was doing all these gymnastic moves in front of everyone. Some old people clapped, I think they thought I was the entertainment!

It really was a nice afternoon, meeting so many generations of Gord's family that came to wish "Uncle" a Happy Birthday.

Uncle Albert is Gordon's Godfather. And until today he thought he was the only one. The speaker asked a gentleman to come up to the microphone who was Uncle's oldest God Child. I was watching Gord at the time, and I saw his eyebrows "lift"... and his expression was priceless, I could see he was surprised. So, after the new god child we never knew about did his congratulations to Uncle, I was still watching Gordon. (He was sitting down from me a bit with his brother)...because NOBODY WANTED TO SIT WITH THE WOMAN WHO THROWS A SHOE AT THE DINNER TABLE.

I knew Gord was going to get up and say something, and he did. Don't ever give that guy a microphone...oy...He told his 100 year old God Father how disappointed that he was not the "only God Child"...all in jest however. And went on to thank him for his success in life... Gord's parents were financially unable to help him to go to a Commercial College after high school to take a course in Appliance Repair. Uncle Albert gave him the tuition, and Gord passed his course with flying colours, and he never looked back. And with his first pay cheque after he got a job he started to pay back his uncle for the loan. In those days, I bet it was about 500.00 for tuition...but wages were lower then too. But Gord has been forever grateful, because this is what he has been doing all his life...along with our rental properties etc.

Then, another lady came up on the stage and said she was Uncle's God Daughter! Then many more started to congregate.................It seems Gord was over numbered at the end. He always thought Uncle was his only God Poppa.. Everyone had a great time with that. It wasn't supposed to be part of the program that was arranged, it just started to generate a life of it's own. And it was hilarious at the end....there were 5 of them! Most of them not aware of the other. Albert's son, who threw this party never expected this to happen, so they did a little photo shoot of all the God Kids. Gord is the one beside his beautiful cousin Janet on the left, and the guy beside him is the one we don't even know but for some reason they look like they are related...that started the frackis in the first place..then his cousins Orlean and Cora.

Happy Birthday Uncle Albert.

A funny story emerged later, when Gord's Auntie Hattie had the microphone. She was regaling all sorts of stories from the past, and Albert was just laughing. He hadn't really stood up to make a formal speech yet but after she spoke he asked his son for the microphone when she was finished.
Just a note..Hattie is his deceased wife sister... He said "Hattie" I remember when we had our son (they only had one) that you didn't like any names we chose for our boy....you were so scared we would call him Jake, or Abe or some dumb name...so we named him Elmer. Are you happy? HAAAAA I just about pissed my pants.

He is something else, and he only gave up his drivers licence last year at 99 years old.....and was a little pissed off because he had never ... ever had an accident. His son convinced him at the same time to move to an assisted living home, because he was still living in the house he and his wife had for 40 years. So, he has had to make a few changes this last year, but he seems to be taking it in stride. It's like his son said..."you just have to make sure it seems like it was his idea" and he will abide by it. Yet doesn't want to let go of his own power and choices. I can see that, because he still is very able to make them. He is sharp as a knife.

Gord's still pissed off....he thought he was SO SPECIAL! He will get over it..heh.

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Apparently I did not know how to spell Ex-lax in my last blog.

Shit.

The ants are back..........

Not as many as the first go round, but they are finding a way to get on my counter top.

I'm not happy.

I didn't have any of that organic crap left from the last time (and I wonder why there weren't dead?) So my blogger friend Donna said she used Windex to clean them up. I went after those little bastards with a vengeance....and ya'know...they don't like to shined up with Windex..nope. They run really fast. With the organic stuff, the stuck their tongues out at me, and said "see ya later alligator." And I did. Now that I have somewhat eradicated the Ants, I still have THE Uncles to contend with.

Every now and again, one come running across the kitchen counter top...and stops, and asks "have you seen my ant?" I said NO...AND WHACKED HIM. Unfortunately, he brought two friends with him that saw the hammer coming down and hid in the dishwasher, which was running about 8000 degrees at the time. Not a good place to hide. It was a sauna they did not expect.

Not to much happening over here... I'm constipated..Yes, me who usually spews shit all over the internet...cannot take a shit! It's totally screwed up my day...I think I will have Elax for supper.

If you don't see me again, I will have exploded. Life after 60 is tricky.

Almost too tired to type

I wrote this yesterday but fell asleep before my I could "Click" Publish


Finally I have been able to put in my annuals. We had frost warnings forever. If those suckers freeze tonight I will ... I guess do nothing...I can't. All that digging around in the dirt, and the planning of what goes in what pot, was making me tired. And a little mad. I don't like gardening, I'm sorry.

And all the getting up and getting down, climbing the stairs to the deck, up and down, running to the front of the house turning on the water, then turning it off, then turning it on again, then dragging the hose around..when I finally lost my cool. So, I took a break. Played with the dog, talked to the neighbour across the fence, and then Gord started pissing around the back 40.

As is his yearly ritual, he started every gas powered THING he owns. First the lawnmower, which was right beside me when I was potting my bedding plants. Nothing like gasoline fumes in your stinking face. He didn't start it up only once. Nope. It has an electric start on it which was not working properly. So, he kept on grinding away on it..over and over again. After about an hour he figured out you have to close the thingofamajig on the handle bar. It's funny how you forget to use a lawnmower after 9 months of winter. I don't blame him. But I laughed at him big time. So, in spite he let it run for 20 minutes, and damn near gassed me.

Then he went to the other shed and tried starting everything in there. One of them was a snowblower>>>> I thought winter was done with? We never use it, but he needed to know it was still working. Then our garden tractor (actually if was his dad's which we never use)...We have it advertised for sale in the "buy and sell"...and he wanted to make sure it worked. Well he lost the key to it. So, we go key seeking. he claims it is in our key container..which consists of a plastic bowl which sits on top of the closet by the front door. You know that door. My staging area for my videos..yeah that door.

Anyway, the key was missing. He couldn't start the tractor. A lot of swearing went on, and he couldn't believe he lost it. But later on he found a key that almost fit, and it started..OYYYY. So, after that he started up his motorcycle in the shed. And reved it and reved it, and reved it. Smiling all the while. Ignition and the smell of gasoline makes my man smile. It makes me MAD.

I had envisioned an nice quite afternoon in the backyard and do the potting of the plants. Plant potting needs a zen like atmosphere. After he had the whole back 40 filled with smoke and fumes from all the stuff he was starting up, I politely asked him to CUT IT OUT. That is like waving a red flag in front of bull. Just to piss me off he starting honking the horn on his motorcycle. How childish? Then I hit him on he head with a 2x4...the end.

WE HAVE TREES GROWING OUT OF OUR EAVES! And he is pissing around.

Bad picture taken through the screen. But tree are growing!

I have wanted an old fashioned picnic table for the longest time.. just your regular wood ole time picnic table. We had one until about 5 years ago, and it fell apart. So yesterday I went picnic table shopping because I seen a few on sale. They are prefab and all you gotta do is put them together.

I went to Home Depot on Saturday and asked for the one on sale. The lady said they were sold out, but I could go to the other side of the city to another location because they had 13 left according to their computer. Backupthetruckjake...I don't have time to go across town, I only have this small window of opportunity to pick it up. Because I have to get home, people are waiting for me, plus I have no idea HOW to get to the other location.

I asked if they could bring a table to this location, and I would have Gord pick it up on Sunday...but that was frowned upon. I called Gord on my cell and told him what had happened and asked him to go to the other location to pick one up if he had time. He didn't have time. I said, it's okay...let's just forget it. But not as quietly as is looks like on type.

So, I went to another place "Rona" right across the street, and asked them if they had picnic tables, and the nice man asked me..." Is someone in you household handy"?.... I heartily laughed in his face...probably getting a little spittle on his chin, and said "NO"...but my husband can fix anything that has a motor. He said they could give me a drawing of a picnic table and then we could buy the necessary lumber and build it ourselves.... I told him my husband is "wood challenged", so I left it at that. So, I went home dejected.

My SIL was over, and a few people before Gord got home and when he got home...he had my picnic table!! Yay!! He made the time to get it. He said he made some calls after I called him to find one closer to us...like Rona...where I had just been and dissed him. He probably talked to the same guy just after I left there. The guy is probably still laughing.

So, we still have to put it together, but not build it from scratch. I see divorce in my near future anyway. Or at the least, some really loud talking.

That would be a video you wouldn't want to miss.

But, I don't think the picnic table will fit in my small staging area.

Bad video..and ramblings

Be prepared for bad video ...as I am doing this all by myself. I think I have nice video of the floor most of the time.

Just to catch you up. I replied to Eddie last night, and I got the best response today. He is a really nice adult. I didn't kick his ass with my reply, because usually nobody remembers life the same way. We just exchanged formalities. Where we live, who we married, our parents, etc. I think we only remember what affected us at the time.

He was just probably being a freaky little kid, like my brother, always getting into my business. I remember when Gord and I went to his school reunion, a speaker remembered Gord as a bully and would always beat him up when he was delivering papers. The guy said in jest, but that is how HE remembered it. Gord almost fell off his chair. He couldn't remember it. I swear Gord kissed that guys ass the whole evening. He was so embarrassed. So, I'm thinking Eddy never meant any harm, it was ..just.the.way.it was.

It's funny how we don't let the old shit go. His one recollection of me was that I had a small dog that always wanted to bite him in the store....yes that was "Snowball" a Chihuahua I always carried in my arms wherever I went or had tucked in my jacket. My friend had to find a home for him and because I loved him so much anyway, she gave him to me. In a small town like Altona, no one had ever seen a Chihuahua so he always stood out where ever I went. And he didn't like boys. Except my dad. He was a yakking dog, only because the girl I got him had 4 brothers who always teased him. Poor little guy. Snowball was a wonderful little guy. When we were going out...Gord used to pick me up on his motorcycle, and I would put Snowball in my school jacket and tuck him up under the snaps just enough so he could stick his nose out...to enjoy the breeze. And away we would go. He loved it.



This is an oil painting a friend of my brothers did of him..

Okay the video has been downloaded. Forgive me. Seriously. The video says Gordon Martin..but that is me. My stuff is all messed up. I will fix it tomorrow.

Workout 2 - I have no shame from Gordon Martin on Vimeo.

Life's a funny bitch - Part 1

I was on facebook yesterday. And apparently I had made a few "mishtaken" und I let the whole world know about my comment to my niece for her birthday. I was duly corrected by the Ms. Special K. After figuring out what I had done wrong.. I started farting around in it and found a load of stuff I didn't even know was in there. Let's just say I have a love and hate relationship with facebook. And I go in every few days and look at my wall or whatever the heck it is, make a few comments and I'm gone.

I found a place where people were looking for me. No, it wasn't the cops.

A guy was asking if I was the Joan from "his hometown." My ears perked up. Yes, the name looked very familiar.

Anyway, I answered his message yesterday, and as it turns out, he is the little kid whose dad owned the grocery store on the top of our street in smallville Altona!

He asked me a whole bunch of questions today, and I still haven't answered because I'm in shock. What do I say....to him?

If I was truthful I would say:

Eddy, I'm still pissed off at you when leered at me and made fun of me when my mom sent me to the store to buy a box of Kotex. I know your parents were discreet, they always wrapped the boxes up in brown paper before they put it on the shelves....but we both knew what I was coming in for. I always tried to come into the store when you weren't working. I hate you.

Eddy, do you remember the time I had my first date with a guy? I was 14 years old, and he and I and another couple went out to Buff Creek to shoot gophers. (We didn't have TV in those days) we make our own drama. Butch was his name. Damn that makes me laugh...and we, and the other two went into town after that and grabbed a burger at the "Dairy Dell" .... and ... and... of course after that Butch headed for... my first trip to "lovers lane."

One mile out of town.

It was still daylight.

I still had never been kissed by a boy. I was kind of scared of him. He was all Jimmy Dean and stuff...tough, leather jacket...but yet he was driving his dad's station wagon. Even so I loved him.I w.a.s. 14.

Okay, this is how it went. We were all listening to music on the AM radio. Just grooving. Butch laid down on the drivers seat and put his head in my lap, and hung his legs out the driver side window. The couple in the back seat did the same thing. We were just talking and listening to the music. And yes, we smooched a little bit. Not much, because I found Butch's breath to be a little acidic. As a first kiss, this was not the best. By this time it was 8 o'clock I had to go home.

Eddy: The next day you spread the news all over town that I was doing bad things with with a guy on lovers lane, and he had his feet out the window and my panties hanging on the aerial of his station wagon.

Eddy: I was really embarrassed, but you wouldn't give up...you kept on telling everyone in town the story, you little pervert. What were you doing spying on me and my friends?

Eddy: Do you remember when your dad said I could work in the little store? I was thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. I worked for nothing. I just wanted to work in a store. I loved putting the loaves of bread on the board and packing them in brown paper and putting a string around them for customers to take home. I love making double decker ice cream cones, I loved the little store. It was the heart of our little community. Eddy, you always gave me grief. I loved your dad so much and would have done anything for him, yet anytime I wanted to work at the store your pushed me aside and made it rough for me. I finally gave it up. Eddy.

I will never forget the store. More on that tomorrow.

I will get back to him, once I get all this shit out of my system.

Monday......whatever

A face I love so much.

Father Duck keeping an eye out for his ducklings from the top of our neighbours roof. They have mated for the last twenty years at the house next door..with a pool. These may be the offsprings of the original ducks, but they always come back every spring.



My chokecherry tree is in full bloom. It smells so nice. But everything else is so far behind, because it's so stinking cold. Our yard looks like we are still in April. Nothing is growing the way it should. Farmers can't even put there crops in because it's too cold.

When I went shopping for my Annuals on Saturday, I saw so many frost bitten plants in the greenhouses. They must have taken a big loss. I was going to keep them in our garage, but I have them nestled in between the the shed in the back and some in my little mini half assed wicker greenhouse set up. But the mornings are still close to freezing. We just had a wild thunderstorm pass through here about three hours ago. I was at work, and the skies went..black and the wind picked up big time... and I was really afraid all my stuff would be scattered around the back yard when I got home. But, the shed and the garage kept them out of harms way. Pheww.... that would have been costly.

Other than that...I have nuttin...except to say Happy Birthday to my ever lovin niece "Lisa"... and Gord's best buddy. Thanks for stopping in on Sunday kiddo!



This is her birthday drink of choice...and mine.